Finding it tough (Part 2)

This weekend my blood sugar was 5.2

I’ve lost another 2lb to make it 22lb lost overall.

But I feel terrible. Not physically terrible; usual Fibromyalgia aches and pains and Post stroke weakness, nothing unusual there..bit of a sore throat..

But emotionally I feel totally spent. Just lost. Numb. Fed up.

I’m doing the right things. I’m heading in the right direction but I have zero interest in everything. It’s all an effort. I read books but can’t recall the words, music is just noise, a film gets me agitated before the opening sequence has finished and I just can’t be bothered with things. It’s all annoying, all aggravating, all depressing.

And it’s work tomorrow. Back to Hell on Earth. Back to the grind, the struggle and the sense of hopelessness I feel when I go in.

I only wish I knew why I find life so tough!.

HSSS said:

I’ve no idea what to say that could help, probably very little. It’s so hard when it all feels pointless. All I can do is say to keep doing the things that used to or “should” help. Kind of fake it til you make it and hope that something sticks and then build from that. Easier said than done I know, motivation is hard. Is there anything that does spark any level of joy, wonder or happiness? Can you do more of it if so?

Is it worth revisiting the gp for access to counselling or medications? If you keep returning eventually they have to take you seriously. Is mindfulness an option or helpful? You may not be able to change your circumstances right now but maybe find other ways to look at it all.

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Tried mindfulness but that, along with anti-depressants, don’t work well on Autistic minds and brains.

Only travel sparks any level of joy but that, alas, is now but a memory with not even the faintest glimmer of hope in the horizon.

I just feel very run down. Very, very run down.

SlimLizzy said:

Hi Patrick,
You have done well with the BG levels and losing weight.
Are you on a very low carb allowance? Its possible you may need to increase it slightly, while still keeping an eye on the BG levels.
whatever you do, I wish you well, have a good sunday.

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Thank you.

I don't monitor carbs too closely but the amount of green leafy stuff I eat plus cauliflower and fruit should top me up quite nicely.

I think I just have an unrelated cold or something, feel run down.

Sue192 said:

@SlimLizzy's suggestion of raising your carb levels may help, @Patrick66. I wish there was something I could suggest for the emotional turmoil you find yourself in, but your mention of feeling very run down rang a bell with me (this is physically run down) - I went very low carb but since that point until recently I have felt worse than I did before diagnosis. With some great help from others who are on a higher level of carbs, I upped mine and have felt much better. Of course I am still vigilant and the extra carbs come from veggies such as carrots and things like LC muffins and bread, with a piece of high-protein 'proper' bread now and again. Keto/VLC does not work for everyone. I realise that upping the carbs may cause anxiousness (it did for me at first), but it maybe worth trying. X

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Yes. Thank you.

I think my carb count is decent. Plenty of veggies and it wouldn't surprise me if I turned into a Brussels Sprout one day!. I'm really not very hungry these days and perhaps that is the issue. I am not going overboard with fasting, just the occasional 12-14 hours and I ma finding it hard work not enjoying the food.

I cant say I have a craving for anything sweet as, to a great extent, fruit assuages that.

I live with emotional turmoil but, I guess, sometimes it just overwhelms me and when you add that to a restricted diet I feel rotten both physically and mentally (though I cant say having Fibromyalgia and having had two strokes really helps matters)

HSSS said:

Is there any food you miss in particular? Perhaps we can helps find low carb suitable alternatives.

Or maybe it’s just knowing it’s restrictive, losing that freedom to have lead” stuff if you want it. Is there anything that was on the old banned list that you can have now? I still get a thrill from bacon, loads of cheese and cream, that naughty treat feeling. Or I make a quick keto mug cake or my fake cheesecake topping when I need to get that unrestricted hit. Occasionally I’ll actu bake or try a new recipe to keep the all important feeling of variety.

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I think I have just hit the bottom and I feel terrible- getting worse actually.

I miss just buying stuff.

HSSS said:

Yeah me too but you get used to it in time for the most part. Honestly.

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I don't know. Every day seems harder rather than easier.