Thanks for the positive feedback.
I'm sure I'll get over it, but having put my heart and soul into making a difference I think I have to acknowledge that I can't do this all by myself and medication is going to be a fact of life going forward. As someone who isn't used to taking any pills, not even for headaches, it's a bit of a shock even though deep down I know this... most probably a bit of denial about this has just been popped!
I really thought I'd go in today and be told well done, keep it going, come back in 3 months time and we might be able to reduce your meds. I suppose I got most of that, but I'd much prefer not to need the medication