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Funeral attire

Fallgal

Well-Known Member
Messages
657
Type of diabetes
Type 2
Treatment type
Tablets (oral)
Hi all.

I've been in England for four years but have not attended a funeral. I will have to go to my first (husband's aunt) for the first time next week. Do people still wear all black/mostly black to funerals here? I thought of wearing dressy black pants, shoes and smart jacket with a light blue, slightly dressy button down shirt, minimal jewelry, etc. Hubby thinks the shirt is too bright or cheery. To be fair, he hasn't attended a funeral in years, either. I do have a forest green, suede-like top, but I think paired with black it's a bit dull. (I realize "dull" is probably the look I should be going for!) Thoughts? Thank you!
 
Sounds perfect @Fallgal Funeral attire has changed over the years and I wear a black suit with a pastel blouse when I attend funerals. Some people wear bright colours to celebrate the life of the deceased so unless you have been offered a dress code then you will look great.
 
Since it's your husband's family perhaps you should be guided by him. Black is no longer obligatory, but may be preferred. If his aunt was a cheerful outgoing person brighter colours might be more appropriate.
 
I think it depends how well you knew the person. My mum said she didn't want people wearing blach at hers so we all wore something bright. Do you have something a bit neutral to wear instead of the shirt? White will always go with black, as does camel. A lot depends on if you need to buy something specific to wear and what's in the shops at the moment. Is there anyone from the family you can ask.
 
It's a hard one isn't it, as some people are more traditional and others prefer something lighter and brighter.
Personally I usually go for all black with a pale scarf to break it up so it's half and half.
I hope it all goes well for you.
 
Sounds ok to me. Men are not always the best advisors. Mr Scandi wouldn't have a clue. As long as the overall is black, ie jacket and trousers then I wouldn't worry too much. Hugsx
 
Thank you all very much. You've all been very helpful. His aunt was a very outgoing person, so I think I will go with the blue. My overall outfit is black so I am confident now that it will be fine.

Thanks again!
 
I don't really think it matters what you wear (within reason), the important part is that you turn up and pay your respects. So sorry to hear about your husbands aunt Fallgal.
 
As I didn't have any suitable funeral clothes for my Dad's funeral, I opted for dark casual trousers then prayed for rain so no one could see my sweat shirt under my long riding coat. The prayer worked as thunder and lightning arrived just in time. It's amazing what a coat can hide.
 
Thank you, Noblehead.

Carbsrok, oh my, sad but funny story.
 
I tend to wear black as the colour of mourning. Many people i know wear purple, a very spiritual colour. I think the important thing is that people turn up to show their respect. What you have suggested to wear sounds good to me. Best wishes.
 
I think the important thing is that you are there to pay your respects and to celebrate the life of the person who has moved on, not what you wear.

From my own experience of my parents funerals, I can't recall what anyone wore, nor did it matter. It's a hard enough day for all concerned, without worrying about what to wear.

As it transpires, in the autumn I sold a whole load of "better" clothes that were perfect, but no longer fitted; included was the black suit I wore for my Mother's funeral. I had the suit before she died, but by coincidence hadn't worn it. I never wore it again; such were the memories.

On the up-side, there are usually some uplifting moments within those days, when folks get reminiscing and talking of happier times.
 
Yes, of course I know the important thing is to pay my respects. I loved his aunt and we were all shocked by her death. I was just curious about the etiquette, and wanted to be respectful toward her older family members and friends. . Thank you all again.
 
Hi all,

I have recently lost my mother and the main thing is to be there to pay respects and support family members.
 
Hi, @Fallgal I do a little work at our local florist, and in some occasions we recommend customers to ring the undertakers if there are any special request with regard to wear.
( eg; everyone was asked to wear something red.) just a thought.
Sorry for your husbands sad loss.
 
Hi @rutter1p . So sorry to hear that you recently lost your Mum. It knocks you sideways doesn't it and can take quite a while to get used to - if you ever do. Hugs coming at you x
 
I hope the funeral goes well and us uneventful. When I went to Mums' funeral I could have gone 3 different ways, asked which way passengers preferred but said they'd leave it up to me. Right I'll go on A27, dual c'way all way no faffing around with speed limits or getting stuck behind tractors. Got to sign saying 5 miles to go and traffic stopped! It cleared with 10 mins to go so it was foot down all way to crematorium. Made it just as doors were about to close - phew!
 
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