Help!

Hello and welcome @cruiksl

Well many of us live in a state of denial for a while before starting to deal with it.

As a starting point can I ask if you are on medication? If you are on medication you need to be careful with changes to your diet.

If you are not on any medication (except possibly metformin) my suggestion is to cut down on all carbs- not just sugar. I describe myself as a carboholic and also an all or nothing person. I have found it easier to go very low carb than just low carb. I suffer fewer cravings when very low carb.

The place to start as you seem to know is with your meter. The fasting one in the morning is likely to be the last to come down.
If you test before a meal and 2 hours after the start of a meal you are looking for a rise in your blood sugars of less than 2. Any more and it indicates that the meal has more carbs than your body can tolerate. So this helps you work out the amount of carbs your body can tolerate.

Good luck and welcome

You started well by coming onto this forum IMO. A good place to start is the success stories, which you can browse at your leisure. It will give you an idea of what others have done to get their diabetes back into control/
https://www.diabetes.co.uk/forum/category/success-stories-and-testimonials.43/

Welcome to the club no one wants to join. You are not alone in your voyage down De Nile,