Hello Dodge.
Sorry you are going through tough time.
I had similar experience in my late forties, early fifties. Several abdominal surgeries, stays in ICU, hospital food, and damage to spine from a road accident, caused severe mobility difficulty. I needed to use a wheelchair for several years, before my last surgery . The weight gain, and diabetes were not helped by following the standard NHS advice to eat lots of ‘healthy carbs’. I chose a very low calorie meal replacement diet, and did lose a lot of weight. Not all, but enough to better control my T2 diabetes. Later I followed the Low carb method. I am still overweight, but not super morbidly obese as I was previously.
With Metformin, low carb way of eating should be possible for you. I am not sure that would be the same if start insulin, as there is the possiblity you could experience hypos. Perhaps one of our members more experienced with insulin and low carb can advise?
As for exercise, that alone will not help lose weight, though it can help tone muscle, and increase general well being. I started out with chair based exercise, and progressed to water based exercise, swimming and aquafit. I know it can be difficult when you appear as what you call a ‘miss-shaped person, but lots of swimming pools have dedicated sessions for folks like yourself, but I have found that even in general public swimming pool sessions, most people are too concerned with how they look themselves than to be noticing or commenting on anyone else. In fact I have experienced only encouragement. It is so much easier to exercise in water, as I feel weightless, supported by the water, movement is painless.
I hope you can get the support you need to be able to achieve better diabetes management, and to become fitter.