I fell off the wagon.

Type2Guy said:

Pasha, your wisdom amazes me. Thank you for a very meaningful reply. I have a psychotherapist's couch of despair, which does help for now but I do obsess over the past, which I know leaves me with more obstacles to move away from it. I have one quick question regarding your advice. May I eat in front of the Internet? And does Netflix count as television? I think I know what the answers are already.

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Type2Guy said:

Food management for diabetes is a very tough battle. There should be a program with sponsorship for diabetics in junk food recovery.

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Type2Guy said:

That makes incredible sense. I understand that sooner rather than later is the demand for facing up to my fears about eating for my meter as these bouts of self imposed diabetes denial are not safe for the long haul in this journey.

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Brunneria said:

On a practical level, one of the greatest motivations i have found is my blood glucose meter.

I have found that if i allow myself a 'treat' without testing, i go completely off the rails and binge.

But if i allow myself a 'treat' with the commitment that i WILL test, 30 mins, 1hr, 1.30, 2, until i return to normal...
It is a brilliant reminder of the harm i am doing to myself.
Seems to work in two ways - i take smaller portions, and i'm less likely to do it again.

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Brunneria said:

On a practical level, one of the greatest motivations i have found is my blood glucose meter.

I have found that if i allow myself a 'treat' without testing, i go completely off the rails and binge.

But if i allow myself a 'treat' with the commitment that i WILL test, 30 mins, 1hr, 1.30, 2, until i return to normal...
It is a brilliant reminder of the harm i am doing to myself.
Seems to work in two ways - i take smaller portions, and i'm less likely to do it again.

We went out for 'afternoon tea' about 18 months ago. Special celebration with my partner.
I had 1 round of sandwiches and 1 scone with cream and a smear of jam. Left the crisps (chips), the 3 cakes and the rest of the jam (he ate them all for me. )
My bg went up by 10.4 mmol/l (thats about 180 US bg units) and it took 5 hours to return to starting point.
I've never even been tempted to do it again!

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Ayrshire Dave said:

We looked at self testing but found it was going to be too expensive unfortunately

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Pasha said:

When I was much younger I served in the reserves as a combat soldier. We used to called up at least twice a year and for quite long periods of time. One of our ways to cope with being torn from home each time ,was to manage what you may say in English as "table of despair". ie we constructed a table of the days and dates and one by one ticked them off as the days past. ie we took on the challenge to keep sane one day at a time.

Its the same with food, take it one day at a time, feel a sense of accomplishment and pride each day as you mark the table with another cross. If you sit around thinking of food, you will soon find yourself moving to the kitchen to take yet another snack. and another day will be lost.Make a stand ,watch the days pass ,very slowly in the beginning and before you know it a week will have passed, then a month etc.

You can always get up and drink water, go for a walk, anything to divert your attention from comfort eating which seems to be your biggest enemy. Never eat watching TV, because it will then become second nature, you will associate watching TV with snacking.

Think ahead and dont dwell on the past, after all, what was,was. Now you have a new life ahead of you and you want it to be as full healthy as it possibly can. Good luck.

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Brunneria said:

I use the SD Codefree.
Got it from Amazon. £7 for the meter. £6.50ish for 50 strips.
I think it is worth its weight in gold!

Edited: Sorry-i mis-remembered! The meter cost about £13

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Type2Guy said:

It’s been more than a month since being crowned a diabetic and my head often feels far too heavy from the weight of it all. The monotony of a low carbohydrate diet with portion control and my forced participation in The Hunger Games has left me constantly wanting to retreat to a life before all of this culinary restriction. This afternoon, while working from home, I could not stave off the panic of collapse from setting in as I explored my kitchen cupboards for remains of the past like an alcoholic in contemplative recovery perusing the liquor cabinet, initially as a measure of my success before very quickly devolving into a dangerous game of just-a-taste.

I came across a seemingly impossible forgotten can of Pringles that was being blocked by a concerned Quaker on a large drum of oatmeal like a Just Say No to Drugs bumper sticker on the lamppost of a dealer’s corner. And like any fiend in desperate need of a score, I wasn’t going to let age old wisdom create an obstacle in my self-destructive path towards the Pringle Guy’s sacred starch offering.

I had purchased what seemed like a crate of cans of my favorite ersatz potato chip snack while they were at a very special price about a year ago in a big box store, which I distinctly remember visiting just to walk through their cavernous aisles as exercise to push through the exhaustion and unfortunately not the irony that most of its food was causing me to feel. Fortunately, for their corporate shareholders and unfortunately for their customers, that retail establishment not so subtly plays both sides of a profitable game by providing their everyday low prices on most of the junk food that sends too many like myself directly across the aisle into the pharmacy where they corner the market on the cheapest diabetic supplies anywhere in the country. And even when the vicious cycle eventually peters out for good, it's reassuring to know they have unbeatable prices on caskets.

That first bite of pringle was the miniscule size an anorexic mouse might nibble off just to appease her rightfully concerned mother, but still guiltily enjoyed by allowing the complexity of flavor to echo far beyond the dissolution of its form. And then I took several gluttonous handfuls, the size equivalent of the poor anorexic mouse, her mother, father, twenty siblings and the entire overpopulated neighborhood of Mouseville, shamefully stuffing myself into a state of nausea, delight and for once in a long time a feeling of being full.

I am going to start over again tomorrow. This is really hard at times.

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Type2Guy said:

It’s been more than a month since being crowned a diabetic and my head often feels far too heavy from the weight of it all. The monotony of a low carbohydrate diet with portion control and my forced participation in The Hunger Games has left me constantly wanting to retreat to a life before all of this culinary restriction. This afternoon, while working from home, I could not stave off the panic of collapse from setting in as I explored my kitchen cupboards for remains of the past like an alcoholic in contemplative recovery perusing the liquor cabinet, initially as a measure of my success before very quickly devolving into a dangerous game of just-a-taste.

I came across a seemingly impossible forgotten can of Pringles that was being blocked by a concerned Quaker on a large drum of oatmeal like a Just Say No to Drugs bumper sticker on the lamppost of a dealer’s corner. And like any fiend in desperate need of a score, I wasn’t going to let age old wisdom create an obstacle in my self-destructive path towards the Pringle Guy’s sacred starch offering.

I had purchased what seemed like a crate of cans of my favorite ersatz potato chip snack while they were at a very special price about a year ago in a big box store, which I distinctly remember visiting just to walk through their cavernous aisles as exercise to push through the exhaustion and unfortunately not the irony that most of its food was causing me to feel. Fortunately, for their corporate shareholders and unfortunately for their customers, that retail establishment not so subtly plays both sides of a profitable game by providing their everyday low prices on most of the junk food that sends too many like myself directly across the aisle into the pharmacy where they corner the market on the cheapest diabetic supplies anywhere in the country. And even when the vicious cycle eventually peters out for good, it's reassuring to know they have unbeatable prices on caskets.

That first bite of pringle was the miniscule size an anorexic mouse might nibble off just to appease her rightfully concerned mother, but still guiltily enjoyed by allowing the complexity of flavor to echo far beyond the dissolution of its form. And then I took several gluttonous handfuls, the size equivalent of the poor anorexic mouse, her mother, father, twenty siblings and the entire overpopulated neighborhood of Mouseville, shamefully stuffing myself into a state of nausea, delight and for once in a long time a feeling of being full.

I am going to start over again tomorrow. This is really hard at times.

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Ayrshire Dave said:

How long does 50 strips last you. I was told I would need to test 3 to 4 times a day so would need roughly a hundred a month so very expensive, thanks Dave

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Gravity-Carb said:

under cover during my son's swimming lesson, to the vending machine to buy a....I can hardly admit it....snickers. yeah I wrote it.

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Ayrshire Dave said:

I too find iit extremely difficult when the house is full of goodies I am not allowed, I would find it much easier if I lived alone. I constantly fall off the wagon, especially as I am not working and the temptation to eat constantly is overwhelming most days, just boredom but it does not help.
Dave

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