I'm struggling!

Hi @Grace2059 x well done on your hard work. If you can face it a dafne course might help you? It takes a week but you get to meet others with diabetes and can compare notes, though i can understand it might not be everyone's cup of tea x

Grace2059 said:

Hi guys. I have been type 1 for 19 years and have suffered with depression and anxiety for 6 years (I'm now 23) I've been able to balance both for a while up until 2 years ago when I faced a very traumatic experience and my depression spiralled out of control. I'm on the waiting list for CBT Therapy and I'm still on 4 injections a day (lantus and humalog).
I've let my depression get the better of me and my diabetes has taken a back seat for the past two years. It's very hard as some days I wouldn't even get out of bed and really couldn't care less about my diabetes, I guess that's the joys of chronic depression! - so now I feel as though I am coming out the other side (slowly) and just feel like I need some tips/advice on how to get back into the routine of testing regularly, remembering to inject straight away or before food. Because I have fallen off the wagon and have forgotten how to look after myself properly and I've slipped out of routine! I never test (I know I should!) How can I make it my main priority again when I'm feeling depressed and having a down day?
Also, shall I consider a pump? Is it an easy process?
Thank you for reading my enormous post!
Peace and love xx

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Hi So pleased to hear you are coming out the other side of depression! I am in a very similar position to yourself. I have been type 1 for 36 years and suffered recurrent episodes of depression & anxiety since 1990. My current episode of depression has lasted 12 years & I am at last beginning to feel better. I will share with you what I am learning from this experience!
First I made an appointment with my GP to refer me back to the diabetic clinic.because they are the experts in this sort of thing.
When I go back, I intend to make the Dr's & nurses fully aware of how depression affected me & my ability to cope with my diabetes. This is because I don't think that they really understand the impact it can have. I'm sure that they will be horrified when I tell them some of the stories of how I have been coping. Remember that depression is an illness, that as a diabetic you are more prone to it and you did you absolute best in awful circumstances.Do not beat yourself up about how you have done things for the last 2 years, other people have done exactly the same as you and anyway, you survived!!!
Make sure the diabetes nurses go at your pace. Change small things at first, one thing at a time. Perhaps concentrating on giving your insulin correctly for a couple of weeks. Then perhaps testing once a day. Trying to relearn or change too many things at once is a recipe for failure. Tell them that you can only concentrate for short amounts of time at the moment and that things may be difficult if you are having a bad day. Also CBT is hard work, so let the diabetes nurses know that when you start it , you will have a lot on your plate.
Tell them you would like to make a plan for
1) when you have a bad day
2) What can be done to support you if you have another episode of depression. Remind them that this may mean a realistic plan just to keep you safe & out of hospital rather than aiming for perfect blood sugar control. Being able to keep communication lines open with them is important, so phone or e-mail may be a better option than appointments at diabetes clinics!
The NICE diabetes management guidelines &National Service Framework for Diabetes inform the clinics what standards they should meet. They say that Patient centred care should be practiced which means that they need to consider what else is going on in your life, Dr's in diabetic clinics are advised to be alert for psychological problems in patients with diabetes and the nurses need to provide appropriate support and education to help you manage your diabetes yourself. So it's their job to help sort you out!
So sorry for the extra long post, I hope it helps. Keep us updated with how you are doing. Good luck, I'm sure we will get there in the end! Love and hugs Lisa xxxx

Grace2059 said:

Thanks so much Lisa, that's so helpful and it's nice to know that I'm not alone!
I also worry that the diabetes team will judge me and end up having a go because they're not necessarily trained in mental health as well as diabetes and I know it's only because they worry. But I will definitely take the same route as you and get a referral back to the diabetes team, prepare what I want to say before I go and discuss everything with them.
I think it would be useful for me to be in constant contact with a diabetes nurse and have them at the end of the phone if I feel like I'm struggling.
I think like you said, I should not give myself everything to do at once and take one hurdle at a time. Maybe start with setting alarms for injections.
I will 100% keep you in the loop and same goes for you, I'm glad you're starting to feel better and remember how strong you are!
Lots of love xxx

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I literally felt sick at the thought of going back to the clinic. I missed a couple of appointments & they sent me a really stroppy letter, discharging me! I was so upset & completely blamed myself. When I began to feel better, I started to research diabetes & depression, (I was a qualified nurse in a previous life!) so I could explain to them how it affected me. What I found has completely changed my view of the clinic. There's loads of current research available which says that diabetics are 2-3 times more likely to suffer from depression. If you have had 1 episode of depression, then you are more likely to develop it again. Diabetics with depression have major problems self managing their diabetes and are at risk of developing all the problems associated with that. (I won't go into them because that is just too depressing! ) Raised blood sugars can contribute to depressive symptoms, anxiety make can feel like you are having a hypo, stress can alter your blood glucose levels and missing diabetes appointments is common! So taking all that into account I think we are flaming marvellous to survive all that without any support from the clinic!!! All this costs the NHS more money, so a lot of clinics have started to provide psychologists that are knowledgeable in diabetes and Health professionals have to be more aware of your current psychological state. My feeling is that they know more about mild depression than they do major. (probably most people with major depression don't attend diabetic clinics for fear of being judged!) I am pretty sure that the majority of staff will completely understand and will happily sort things out. But now we are totally prepared for the one that doesn't! Have a search for this excellent blog post
MY JOURNEY TO HELL: HOW DEPRESSION HIJACKED MY SOUL, AND HOW I FINALLY WRENCHED IT BACK. (Wolves wit and wisdom) (I'm not allowed to post a link to it as I'm new here) It's written by a type 1 diabetic, the description of what it feels like to be depressed is spot on. I may take a copy to the clinic in case my voice dries up with anxiety, I can just hand them it! Take care, happy for you to private message me if you want xxx