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In need of help.....

T

TallGirl

Member
Messages
23
Hi Everyone ((waves))

Basically i dont look after myself well enough and i know that if i dont do anything about it now, its going to cause me problems. I want to sort myself out but i just cant seem to get motivated to do anything.

I'm a 23yr old Type 1 diabetic and was diagnosed back in Oct 1989 (19years ago). Everything used to be great control wise, my HBA1C used to always be at about 6 and never had any problems or issues.

Then over the past couple of years everythings gone to pot
1) I dont eat properly - no breakfast, no set meals, constantly eating sugary rubbish or junk food.
2) I dont inject properly - miss injections, late injecting, not injecting the right amount
3) no exercise - not that i've really done any since i played netball at school (unless you count my pathetic attempt of going the gym that lasted about 4months!)

My blood sugar levels (In my opinion) arent that bad (no higher than 20 and my pre-breakfast ones are below 12 about 90% of the time.) I hardly have hypos and i've felt hyper a couple of times due to me missing my injections (when i feel like this i still dont do anything about it most of the time - i just sit there and think "I dont feel well")

I want to get myself back on track, but at the same time I cant be bothered to and I'm enjoying being "normal" and forgetting about being diabetic.

The only person who knows about the issues im having is my BF and he's angel and doesnt nag me or anything (cos he knows that im stubborn and will just look after myself even worse) but he does say that i need to sort myself and that he worries - and he's right - i do need to, so why cant i?

My mom is a nightmare, all she does is constantly go on at me about everything to do with my diabetes - "have you done your injection?" "whats your blood like?" "have you eaten?" "have you had enough to eat?" "you dont eat right!" "you dont do this right!" "you dont do that right!" and she just makes me feel even worse. I wish she'd just shut up and leave me alone.

I also feel down all the time and i guess this stems from my ex finishing with me back in May 07 - even since then things have gone downhill - i cry over the slightest things, when i have an arguement with my BF it feels like the worlds ending, i worry about things that dont need worrying about, i get paranoid etc. Maybe im depressed, i dont know. My BF wants me to go and see someone but i just cant do it. I dont want people thinking im mental, cos im not.

Any help would be appreciated x
 
Hi Tall girl

I've had diabetes for 34 years and have been exactly where you are now at different times over the years.

You've made the first step in writing this post asking for folk to help with motivation, so it seems like you're ready to make the next step.

It can seem like you have to make such huuuuuuuuuge changes to get where you know you need to be, but why not just take it in baby steps to start with - little by little.

Maybe the next step might be picking up the phone and calling the diabetes nurse - this might get you to your next step. Get your HBA1c checked - yes sure it might be high, but then make it your goal to lower it the next time. Ask if you can go back and get it checked in 6 weeks time rather than having to wait for your usual diabetic clinic appointment.

Start testing - it will help you get your levels down.

Go for it Tallgirl, you will feel so much better, physically and emotionally, this is a great forum to get some help, there will be plenty of others who will give you other bits of advice, come back and let us know how you get on.

Orchid x
 
Hi Tallgirl,
As a mother of a diabetic i can understand why your mother nags, its because she loves you and wants to help you, so try not to be too hard on her. As for your diabetic control, only you can do that. You do sound depressed and talking over your feelings with your diabetic team can only do good, please try. Otherwise the inevitable will happen and you will suffer complications, and you don't want that to happen. There are plenty of diabetics on this forum who will be along to help and advise, until then sending you a big (((hug))) you sound as if you need it,
take care,
Suzi x
 
thank you for your messages

its difficult to talk to my diabetic nurse, she seems to patronise me which doesnt help. I had my HBA1C done a few months ago and it 10 point something, then i went back 3 months later and it had gone down to 9.8. My next appointment is due any time soon, im just waiting for the letter through the post.
 
Hi tallgirl

Do you know what, you’ve taken your first step forward, and it is one of the hardest steps to take the first is the worst, in fact you’ve actually taken 2 steps, the first is admitting to yourself that things aren’t right, and the second which is as hard as the first is asking for help and support..

The biggest part of being a happy diabetic is empowerment and taking control of your diabetes so that you control it and it doesn’t control you which it sounds like it does very much in many ways at the moment…

I would ask or even phone the diabetic department and ask to if they do a carb counting course such as DANFE, if they do ask (tell) them that you want to do this course as soon as possible… As this type of course will give you the knowledge on carb counting, and insulin dose how to work these out, what effects these makes you into your own expert on your control…

But you can start now, with monitoring you BG’s and noting what you eat and how if effects your sugar levels… I would ask for help with any questions you have about these in the T1 forum, where the others can give you pointers and suggestions to help etc…

Once you start to take control, you will find that not only will you get better BG’s, but you’ll feel better both physically and mentally, emotions that seemed to scare or were difficult to deal with, will actually feel better and more manageable to handle… And I am sure that once you put these steps into motion mum will notice and is more than likely not only be relieved, but also step back a bit more as she won’t have to ask or nag…

Another suggest is that enrol the help of your boyfriend, perhaps he would like to go to clinic with you, so you have the feeling of support, along side he will get a better understanding of your condition, then any tactics or suggestion the nurse comes up with you can tackle and discuss together…

If you have a bad day, don’t worry too much, pick yourself up, dust yourself down and start again… And you find it will get better as you go along
 
Hi Tallgirl, you are in a pickle !
At the end of your mail you say that you're not mental. I'm not saying that you are, but why stigmatise 'being mental'? When people know that their behaviour is irrational, the time has come to ask the question 'why' you're behaving in that way? You don't need any of us to tell you that you are slowly committing suicide, but again why? Perhaps it's time to get help, whether you want to apply the term 'mental'!
Get expert help, and good luck!
 
If you aren't happy with your Diabetic Nurse, see if you can find another one. it's important to have someone that you feel comfortable with.

I think this happens to everyone, from time to time. If it helps, do it for your boyfriend

(Alternatively, go with the flow for a week, see how ill you feel at the end of it, and get your eyes checked. Running high all the time WILL affect your eyes, and you risk going blind. Not just losing your sight, but your eyes look awful - all twisted and 'bent'. Look it up on the net, if you want to. It's not pretty.)
 
Hi, Tallgirl, you don't sound mental but you do sound depressed. Not surprisingly; if your blood sugars are all over the place that can make you feel lousy physically and mentally. Was your diabetes ever well controlled when you were younger? Or was it always difficult to control and that's why you got so fed up with it?
I got to that point fairly recently, blood sugars all over place, feeling like death, depressed, exhausted, and thought it was down to me doing it all wrong. I changed to Hypurin Pork insulin last May & I feel in control again, like a totally diferrent person-no exaggeration! Ialso have the best blood sugars in 20 years of being type-1(I was also diagnosed in 1989 aged 19). I regret spending all those years on synthetic insulins, as I always had "brittle" control, and always felt tired. However when I was put on Lantus things went downhill further, I thought I was dying, and my blood sugars had no predictablility- it was crazy. I told countless doctors, diabetic nurses, even my consultant and none of them considered the possibiliity of my insulin being the problem. I've done a lot of research since, and heard from other people, some of them on this forum, who reported feeling depressed, tired, and other symptoms on synthetic or "analogue" insulins. It's worth considering changing your medication. You need to regain your confidence and get the control you need for you health to improve.
I know it's a hard thing to deal with when you're so young. It can feel very overwhelming, boring and tiresome too. Give The Insulin Dependent Diabetes Trust a call, they're very approachable and helpful, and should be able to advise you further. Their no. is 01604 622837.
You need to get help soon, and the fact you've contacted this forum means you're well on the way to getting sorted. Good luck and let us know how you get on.
Jus
 
my diabetes was well controlled when i was younger, i never had any issues or problems. I think what didnt help was when i went from being on 2 injections a day, solid routine, 4 meals a day and 3 snacks, all at set times to the regime im on now of lantus once a day and then injecting with every meal. I was given more freedom with my food and my life and everything just went wrong
 
Hi Tallgirl, what insulin were you on when you were younger? I doubt it's as simple as having freedom to "**** it up" - don't blame yourself, it's always trial and error and we don't always get it right. If your diabetes was controlled before, then it can be again, the correct insulin is the key. Please contact the IDDT.
May have mentioned it before, but I'm on pork insulin now, and I have flexibility, but my insulin works as it should and I don't get any nasty surprises. I split my long-acting, 22 units in the morn and 12 in the eve, and I take my short acting before meals as I need it. And it's good to know it's "insulin" I'm injecting; probably why it works and the others didn't! The only time things go a bit crazy is before my period, but that's predictable, and I think most women experience the same.

For the moderators- People read these posts, what they do with it is their business.
I have edited this post to avoid further "ranting" Hope it meets with your approval.
Jus
 
Hi Tallgirl

Been where you have I think every diabetic has and I don't want to repeat what others have said but you've admitted theres a problem and thats half the battle. The right support system matters though and if your ot happy with the care your receiving change it - your GP may be able to help by giving other suggestions - my diabetic nurses were exactly the same and always trying to make me feel like I was doing everything wrong so I cahnged the way my care works and its better.
Your Mum isn't trying to nag trust me, mine still asks me how my bloods are, have I eaten should I really be going out and drinking etc. Its their job (they signed up the day they had us).
The forum is also fantastic part of a support system - you can rant, rave and release the stress without having to face anyone! I hope things start to get better for you
 
Hi Tallgirl

I am very sympathatic with you as going through very similiar myself. Had insulin injections for 30 years and generally had a good life, 2 kids all Ok but why am I like you fed up with it? I have decided in the last week to really pick myself up and see the Diabetic nurse who may give me some help and just get on with it as I have done before. I need to test regularly, exercise and eat proper food. Good Luck you really can do this!

Linda
 
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