Is Diabetes a "selfish" condition?

ally1 said:

i would say ii was selfish in the beginning as i thought being on meds meant i could eat all the wrong things

Click to expand...

Ally - I wouldn't classify your response to your initial meds as selfish, I would say it was trusting, and you accepted the messages you were given at face value. Those of us who are much more challenging possibly asked more questions or almost wore out Google with our searches. But, you're on the right track now.

Selfishness is being concerned, sometimes excessively or exclusively, for oneself or one's own advantage, pleasure, or welfare, regardless of others.

I never stopped thinking of others no matter how much I may have concentrated on myself.

Diabetes cannot be a selfish condition, a person with diabetes can.

All down to Lexical Semantics.

Well if selfish means looking after ones health then we are all guilty as charged, but tbh the idea of being selfish because we manage a life-long condition is just too ridiculous to contemplate.

AndBreathe said:

Ally - I wouldn't classify your response to your initial meds as selfish, I would say it was trusting, and you accepted the messages you were given at face value. Those of us who are much more challenging possibly asked more questions or almost wore out Google with our searches. But, you're on the right track now.

Click to expand...

What a lovely lovely post

EveryCloud said:

Funny, I was thinking this the other day too, I had a doctors apt and my friend wanted me to go up and help with her CV. I told her I couldn't as I was busy. I felt really bad, I also never called a friend back because I wend for a snooze because I wasn't feeling too well. Then I thought to myself that I had pretty much shut my friends out after I was diagnosed. I have, it is mainly because they don't understand. I have one friend who thinks I can still go out and party every weekend and another friend that offers me food all the time. trying to explain that I cannot do these things is pointless, they just don't realise how ill I actually am, and the fact I will be starting on insulin soon because my pancreas is giving up is another blow. It is a very selfish disease, because you have went from pretty much doing what you want to having to monitor everything going into your body, monitoring your blood and monitoring how you feel. So yes I have become selfish. I definitely come first these days. I NEED to look after myself and in this it is a very lonely disease. I am selfish because I have to be, not because I choose to be. If it wasn't for this forum I would go mad... lol.

Click to expand...

Please don't allow this condition to control your life. Why do you feel you cannot go out and "party". You do not have to drink yourself senseless to have a good time with friends. I've lost count of the times that I used to be out all night on nothing but water because I was taking antibiotics for a chest infection or something. There also used to be some "straight edge" people where I went - those that never, smoked, drank or took drugs. They seemed to be having a great time dancing to music.

You seem to have rejected your friends - rather than them rejecting you. Of course look after your health and do what you need to do to stay healthy but re-assess this attitude and enjoy your life.

P.S One of my good friends that was the biggest party demon I know, is a type 1 diabetic. Age is the only thing slowing her down these days.

I've certainly struggled the last 2 days trying to resist the urge for something sweet that's just came out of nowhere. I've a cupboard full of cakes and biscuits and still served up puddings for my family and as far as Im aware, I've still been my usual happy self doing this. Well nobodies said any different anyway.
I've resisted and know I can do this, but I can understand how some people find it hard. Like a smoker or drinker it can take a few attempts before giving something up for good, even when your health depends on it.
I know of someone type 2 whose been struggling for years but she's also fighting depression. Until that gets sorted there's no hope of getting the diabetes sorted. Does that make her selfish....
A family member type 2 for over 30 years really thinks he is treating his correctly in spite of now having serious illnesses and glaucoma. He's followed the usual DN advice and still believes that's the correct way to treat it so he won't listen to anything else. Does that make him selfish....
I know of others that just think 'blow it! I'm old now and want to enjoy myself'. Does that make them selfish...
These people all have partners/families who care and obviously worry about them. They've tried to explain to them reasons to get a 'handle on things' but ultimately it's down to that person to make the change. We can't control others no matter how difficult it is to watch. All they're families can do is be there when they need help. I've not heard one partner/family member describe the diabetic as selfish and I'm sure that even though they will be worried sick and hurting in any bad future event, they still wouldn't.

It's easy for someone looking in to describe the diabetic not taking control, as being selfish but that's just it, they're only looking in.

I've certainly had to stay focused and put in effort over the past 2 days, but
I don't think my family or friends would describe me as being selfish if I had the odd whinge or two, or slipped up either. Mind you, I guess I'll soon find out if this craving doesn't do one pretty sharpish.

When your dealing with a progressive disease such as this, how can anyone be called selfish for trying to live their life in a way that helps them combat this disease if only for a little time. It's the people who try to persuade you to eat something you shouldn't who are selfish. It's the people who tell you t2 diabetes is nothing to worry about that is selfish. As a type 2 I have been ridiculed because of my disease, preached at and made to feel guilty as I obviously brought it on my self. So now that I understand this disease better and I work at it every day, I don't see how anyone could call me selfish.

I dont bother to tell anyone I am diabetic,and dont think about it most of the time now.I just eat whats suitable for me when I am out,last thing I want is a conversation about my diet
I know someone that eats anything she likes,cakes ,pies chips.then gets the insulin out at the table ,lifts her jumper up and sticks it in her stomach for everyone to see.I dont know if she was inviting coment,but I didnt say anything.

zand said:

Um.........Good luck with this one! I've had enough arguments this week to last a lifetime. I'm out!

Click to expand...

Whimp. . I'm not starting an argument am I ??

Perhaps I'm lucky. My family think more about my overall health than i do. And I'm doing a good job !. But no not selfish. I suppose I feel guilty when going out for a meal because the place to eat is chosen around my needs. But needs must I guess.

I would never use the word selfish at all .....
Health is complex ..A challenge it may be but not selfish .....

No.

I have no idea why diabetes is selfish,dosent make sense.

Patricia21 said:

I have no idea why diabetes is selfish,dosent make sense.

Click to expand...

Diabetes is no more selfish than any other medical condition. If we go that route then life itself is a selfish condition. What hope have we got if we belittle ourselves for something that we have no say in?

Patricia21 said:

I have no idea why diabetes is selfish,dosent make sense.

Click to expand...

I think it depends on what you mean by "selfish" and at what stage.

I suppose I was only thinking of myself over the years when I ate badly and too much, slouched behind a desk all day and didn't take any exercise - it was all following the line of least resistance and not thinking of how developing a potentially life-limiting chronic condition might affect my family around me. However, there's no point in dwelling on the past; I probably should have modified my behaviour twenty years ago, in order to make a difference and, in my defence, I was also in a high-stress job, which I endured in order to give my family all the material things that go with "success", whatever that means: I didn't realise that stress also raises BS levels, so I can plead innocent on that count, anyway.

I'm being selfish now, to the extent that I'm trying my best to follow a healthy lifestyle irrespective of what the rest of my family want to do, and one of the tricky things is trying to convince them that they shouldn't feel obliged to follow the same diet as me. They are all a lot fitter than I was, so I don't have concerns about them following the path that I have blazed but they do have a tendency to say that it's "all right" if we don't go to a particular restaurant or eat a particular meal because it won't suit me. That makes me feel guilty, so I tend to be rather over-forceful about telling them that I can manage perfectly well by adapting what I eat and not expecting them to do so. Sometimes over-forcefulness verges on being stroppy, so I'm being selfish about that as well, I guess

I have also developed an unfortunate habit of clinching each argument with "we mustn't let everything be governed by my diabetes", which is a bit "me me me" - so all round, I suppose I'm a bit of a selfish git...

Looking after yourself isn't selfish or self indulgent for anyone whether you are Type 1, 1.5, 2 or not diabetic at all.

Being diabetic for me means I have to be self aware and not forget about myself when putting the needs of my daughter and husband first. But it's not to the detriment of anyone else.

By looking after myself I hopefully won't be depriving them of a mother or wife soon. Some times I'm sure we all go through phases of "I can't be bothered" but they are my motivation so you could argue this makes us selfless. It's all about your individual perspective I guess.

Occasionally I have to say no to doing something right this second because I'm hypo and have to make dealing with that my priority.

I'm aware my post about lack of support may have given some people the idea I expect my partner to run around after me or wait on me or manage my condition for me... Absolutely not the case....emotional support i'm sure is wanted by us all and someone who "gets it..." Not a slave - after all isn't that why most of us joined this forum.

Any person who has the patience & dedication to manage their condition is no more selfish than a non diabetic who chooses to eat well, go to the gym regularly or train hard to get that six pack.

It comes down to life choices and I agree selfishness is a personality trait.

- In my opinion

Although someone did say to me the other day that diabetics are a drain on the nhs and society. Not sure if they were joking.... But I don't think it's selfish to stay alive and healthy anymore than it is taking a free education from the system.

tim2000s said:

Observing certain threads on the forum and based on my experience over the past 26 years, I am submitting the hypothesis that Diabetes is, by necessity, a very selfish condition.

Firstly, what do I mean by this? I mean that others may consider the sufferer to be selfish due to the self focus required in order to manage the condition, and in spite of explanation, may continue to consider that a diabetic is selfish due to this. They probably also don't understand just how much effort we sometimes spend on managing our diabetes and what it really means.

Secondly, if a person chooses not to manage the condition, in spite of the way those around them feel or those that want them to do it better think, then there is very little that an external individual can do.

Either way, due to its nature, and the way treatment has to work, plus any indicator signs that are physical, it is a selfish condition. What do you think?

Click to expand...

yep.

noblehead said:

Well if selfish means looking after ones health then we are all guilty as charged, but tbh the idea of being selfish because we manage a life-long condition is just too ridiculous to contemplate.

Click to expand...

Dead right Noblehead - guilty as charged here too in trying to preserve one's health & ensure I'm still here to see my kids grow up!

Emmotha said:

Although someone did say to me the other day that diabetics are a drain on the nhs and society. Not sure if they were joking.... But I don't think it's selfish to stay alive and healthy anymore than it is taking a free education from the system.

Click to expand...

Drain on the nhs
Along with . . . . . . . . . . . . . . We could make a list but we'd be going off topic big time.
Back to the topic, Diabetes cannot be selfish, people can and they don't have to have diabetes. It's the act of ignoring everyone and everything else that makes a person selfish.