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Is it harder to start a new relationship when your over 40

L

leahkian

Well-Known Member
Messages
302
I am 41 years old and a single father with 2 children and was hoping to see if it is harder to get out on a few dates. The thing is that i was a diabetic for 36 years until 2015 when i had a Spk transplant and i have had eye ops, ops on my hands and elbow and the transplant. I now suffer pain all over my body due to nerve damage and well as problem with my bladder and bowel due to nerve damage. If i take my top off it looks as if i had a zip from under my ribs to the pubic area, so i am not in the best shape. The reason i have not bothered to go out and meet someone is the fact that my children's mother moved away and got married and they worry that i will do the same which i would never do, plus they say i am going bald which i have told them is due to all the stress of being a diabetic. The only reason i had the transplant was to keep going for them but now they are 12 and 14 and it would be nice to have some female company for a change, I even had to have the girl talk with my daughter which i thought i would never have to do but as i am the only parent i had no choice but i don't no who was more red me or her. So if anyone could give me any advice it would be great as when i was in my 20's i was a lot more confident that i am now.
 
You have been through the mill that's for sure. I have been widdowed for seventeen years, at first it was very hard and my youngest was just four years old. So I understand about the 'talks' as I had to give them to my three sons. Not comfortable conversations but necessary ones.

As to relationships, I have had offers since becoming wheelchair bound which floored me because they were from able bodied men. So there is hope. The thing I learned was that no one is going to come knocking at your door, you have to put yourself 'out there' a bit and, yes, it is a risk, but companionship is a human need the same way that food and air is a need.

It was my own choice to remain single but I will admit to enjoying the company of men, they're such funny creatures! Life changes sometimes so unexpectantly so instead of waiting for it to change why not get up and change it? What have you got to lose? Best wishes.
 
You will never know unless you get out there and find out. You could start by getting involved in a few group activities maybe something that involves a bit of exercise but anything with the main goal of widening your friendship group. Join a gym class, learn something new, volunteer, something that you have an interest in.
 
Hi @leahkian . I'm not a betting man but I would wager that your post appears everywhere in society.
I suspect it would most likely start off.......I am 41 yrs old and a single mother of two children.........and would continue almost word for word as your post.
I hope that you can find that person out there.
It will happen, I recently attended a wedding between two people in almost an identical situation.
He was T1 with a lot of complications and she a nurse who had been ill treated in a previous relationship. They make the perfect match.
 
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