It's not a competition but feeling fed up

HEG · Jan 27, 2017

Just over a year ago I was diagnosed diabetic type 2 with hba1c 86 result. I changed my food drastically to very low carbs shed 3 stone in 3 months and had a Hba1c of 49. My current result is 47. When I say drastically I cut out takeaways completely, I used to have chips either everything stopped eating bread. Everything really a lot have done to try and gain control.

At the end of 2016 my husband was also diagnosed diabetic type 2 with hba1c 53. He has suffered kidney stones, drinks a bottle of wine most nights and has never eats vegetables apart from the occasional Sunday roast. He got home and announced he was not changing his diet. he eats two Big Mac meals together, eat a pizza for four himself, buckets of chips. The only change he has is to stop the two cans of red bull and change regular coke to Coke Zero instead. Today he had his 3 month results and the hba1c has dropped to 49.

The nurse said well done and he left with diet controlled although the nurse did convince him that 6 cheese on toast for a meal was excessive!

Well I'm fed up and hAve the feeling is it worth all the separate meal preparing I'm doing.

lowedb · Jan 27, 2017

Unfortunately, life isn't fair. A drop of 4 doesn't sound great to me, while your drop is 37. Just consider what your choice is: keep doing what you are doing, or go back to your old numbers?

douglas99 · Jan 27, 2017

That's life for you.
Concentrate on your numbers, which are better.
Or stab him while he's asleep?

douglas99 · Jan 27, 2017

Joking!

Not really into stabbing.

Jaylee · Jan 27, 2017

Unfortunately you're dealt with a different "set of cards" to your husband.
As are we all.. One can only travel our own journey...

douglas99 said:
Joking!

Not really into stabbing.

Right, enough of the "Grasshopper".. Yeah stabbing is a little vulgar.. Laxatives in the Big Mac is quite poetic..

Freema · Jan 27, 2017

HEG said:
Just over a year ago I was diagnosed diabetic type 2 with hba1c 86 result. I changed my food drastically to very low carbs shed 3 stone in 3 months and had a Hba1c of 49. My current result is 47. When I say drastically I cut out takeaways completely, I used to have chips either everything stopped eating bread. Everything really a lot have done to try and gain control.

At the end of 2016 my husband was also diagnosed diabetic type 2 with hba1c 53. He has suffered kidney stones, drinks a bottle of wine most nights and has never eats vegetables apart from the occasional Sunday roast. He got home and announced he was not changing his diet. he eats two Big Mac meals together, eat a pizza for four himself, buckets of chips. The only change he has is to stop the two cans of red bull and change regular coke to Coke Zero instead. Today he had his 3 month results and the hba1c has dropped to 49.

The nurse said well done and he left with diet controlled although the nurse did convince him that 6 cheese on toast for a meal was excessive!

Well I'm fed up and hAve the feeling is it worth all the separate meal preparing I'm doing.

there is no fairness in this disease... actually it seems to me that the men in this forum in general has a much easier time getting real low morning numbers.. but maybe that is only the men with Little fat on their bones
maybe the higher part of their body being muscles just from natures hand makes it easier... and many womens much higher percentage of fats partly by nature too does make it harder to gain control.... and lately I read somewhere that women that do fitness/sports seem to many times to have a body that lowers their metabolism after doing excercise, maybe due to hormons but it doesn´t seem to be the same for men in general that their body protects every grams on their body by compensating excercise with a lowering of metabolism afterwards.. another unfair fact would be that many women in general can eat much lesser than a man while being much smaller in nature... so only3/4 dessert for a woman and 1 whole dessert for the husbond..

douglas99 · Jan 27, 2017

Jaylee said:
Unfortunately you're dealt with a different "set of cards" to your husband.
As are we all.. One can only travel our own journey...

Right, enough of the "Grasshopper".. Yeah stabbing is a little vulgar.. Laxatives in the Big Mac is quite poetic..

Do you really want to follow ex lax into the en suite?

MaxRebo001 · Jan 27, 2017

This sounds like me 8 years ago, knowing what i know now i wish i changed my diet back then, your husband may well tolerate that diet currently, but it may not stay that way.

Changing his diet now will give him the best chance to avoid potential complications down the line, trust me retinopathy isn't fun and the thought of potentially going blind due my own actions has given me a few sleepless nights lately. Hopefully it won't get that far.

Diabetes doesn't always have to be a progressive disease, but sticking with that type of diet will certainly increase the risk of complications.

HEG · Jan 28, 2017

douglas99 said:
That's life for you.
Concentrate on your numbers, which are better.
Or stab him while he's asleep?

Umm stab or ex lax! It's just he has the attitude that it's just quacks and if it's meant it's meant to be and he doesn't want to have any restrictions or monitoring. A Sort of head in sand (now that would solve the eating!).

I love him and on a selfish side I don't want him to die or have to change from a wife to a carer because he has gone blind or infection and amputation. He has kidney stones and that's was like living with a pregnant man!

On a plus side he is attending diabetic clinics and going for the eye examine so maybe he will change habits before it's too late. It's interesting he didn't want be to be with him but I followed him in so I don't think he would have been truthful about his diet if I had stayed in the waiting room. He said he likes asparagus? We have been married 26 years and I only seem him have it once and he was too embarrassed to leave it on the plate.

lowedb · Jan 28, 2017

I saw a post on here where someone was dealing with a problem getting someone to change their diet away from the carb laden stuff they were used to. A suggestion was made to change their own diet, make sure the things were tempting and tasty, but say they were only for diabetics. For example, if he wants a big mac then do yourself a really nice burger with salad and cheese (some people wrap the burger in lettuce instead of bread). Just think how much tastier yours will be, and let him know it. Let's face it the bread and fries are hardly the best bit of a meal like that anyway.

dancer · Jan 28, 2017

I would stop cooking separate meals. Why make life harder for yourself? Make meals as nice for him as you can but don't make different meals.

My husband is Type 2 and doesn't like veg, but if I grate cheese over it he usually eats it! Maybe you'll find something similar.

Brunneria · Jan 28, 2017

@HEG
My goodness, I know how you feel.

Our bodies are all so unique. The classification T2 is sooooo inadequate.
I'm an almostmenopausalPCOS+prolactinomawomanwithjointproblemsfoodintolerancesreactivehypoglycaemiaandglutenissues
My husband reducescarbsabitandtheweightfallsoff

There is no comparison, is there?

walnut_face · Jan 28, 2017

Freema said:
there is no fairness in this disease... actually it seems to me that the men in this forum in general has a much easier time getting real low morning numbers..

I'm obviously more in touch with my feminine side than I thought, not that Mrs W_F would agree

Robkww · Jan 28, 2017

Hi @HEG - you're doing a good job for you. This isn't a sprint, lifestyle changes are most important and need to be sustained or problems may develop - you don't mention how much weight your other half has taken off?

Freema · Jan 28, 2017

walnut_face said:
I'm obviously more in touch with my feminine side than I thought, not that Mrs W_F would agree

well maybe I am not right in my observations, but looking at the incomming reporting of morning blood glucose threats it seems to me that it is mostly men that succeeds in having daily blood glucose in the level of the 4´s

.....

HEG · Jan 28, 2017

Robkww said:
Hi @HEG - you're doing a good job for you. This isn't a sprint, lifestyle changes are most important and need to be sustained or problems may develop - you don't mention how much weight your other half has taken off?

In three months he lost 2 lbs so near to nothing but apart from the coke and red bull that was the only change. No exercise whatsoever.

Robkww · Jan 28, 2017

HEG said:
In three months he lost 2 lbs so near to nothing but apart from the coke and red bull that was the only change. No exercise whatsoever.

@HEG - your husband needs to wake up and follow your example, don't you take one step back!

daisyduck · Jan 28, 2017

How are your cooking skills? I'm enjoying creating low carb recipes and most of the time hubby (type 1) hasn't a clue they are low carb. We mostly eat the same . although I will add a potato or two to his.
If you fill up your hubby on the good stuff , will he have room for the chips etc.. or is he like some blokes I know.. a bottomless pit?
A little bit of female cunning goes a long way too
Positive reinforcement ...Ohh, that looks good on you now, I think you've lost a bit of weight ?
Negative .. Hmm those trousers are looking too tight, we need to go shopping.
You'll know what works best

douglas99 · Jan 28, 2017

HEG said:
Just over a year ago I was diagnosed diabetic type 2 with hba1c 86 result. I changed my food drastically to very low carbs shed 3 stone in 3 months and had a Hba1c of 49. My current result is 47. When I say drastically I cut out takeaways completely, I used to have chips either everything stopped eating bread. Everything really a lot have done to try and gain control.

At the end of 2016 my husband was also diagnosed diabetic type 2 with hba1c 53. He has suffered kidney stones, drinks a bottle of wine most nights and has never eats vegetables apart from the occasional Sunday roast. He got home and announced he was not changing his diet. he eats two Big Mac meals together, eat a pizza for four himself, buckets of chips. The only change he has is to stop the two cans of red bull and change regular coke to Coke Zero instead. Today he had his 3 month results and the hba1c has dropped to 49.

The nurse said well done and he left with diet controlled although the nurse did convince him that 6 cheese on toast for a meal was excessive!

Well I'm fed up and hAve the feeling is it worth all the separate meal preparing I'm doing.

I always remember my NHS dietitian looking at my (honest) food diary, looking at me, back at the diary, back at me and saying

'A family size quiche is NOT a snack'

She was excellent, with her help I shed a lot of weight, and completely re-addressed the way I look at food.

But, I went for a classic low calorie diet, I realised I had to curb my eating, and retake control over how much went into my mouth.
You can't do it until you're ready though,
Maybe you can look at simply feeding him less until he decides to do something himself, rather than try to change his diet in one fell swoop?

ickihun · Jan 28, 2017

Freema said:
well maybe I am not right in my observations, but looking at the incomming reporting of morning blood glucose threats it seems to me that it is mostly men that succeeds in having daily blood glucose in the level of the 4´s

.....

I've always said the same.
On occasion got shot down for it, but it looks that way. Less hormones for them to negotiate through, i guess.

It's not a competition but feeling fed up

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