swift - no, you dont need to get a grip, you need to let it all out if you can do that. Keeping such upsetting things to yourself is ,to cause you more distress.
Oh how sad, I guess you feel very lonely there in Cheshire, please dont be hard on yourself, you have just suffered a loss, you would have to be made of stone to not be affected by it and you need some support.
Speak to your doctor or DSN re your diabetes, let them know how hard you find it to control this condition at the moment.
And you are not alone, you are part of a very caring forum x