Kidneys

The truth is @Vince01 your son is 24 and getting tested is neither your decision or his mothers. Have you ever asked his opinion? I can see you love your son and would want to do anything to help. But the first hurdle is sitting with your son and having a discussion on his views.

Does your son know that this disease can be inherited? If so, he is able to decide for himself what to do with his health.
The problem with kidney donation is not in age, but in the fact that the donor's health is considered a priority, and if there is a risk to the life and health of the donor, no one will withdraw organs from him, and with diabetes, the your kidneys may fail one day, so they will try to preserve your health in all ways. In addition, even for the recipient, they try to keep his kidneys as long as possible, because the transplanted kidney will not work for the rest of his life. 30 years is the maximum how long it will last.

Zhnyaka said:

. 30 years is the maximum how long it will last

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There's a lady called Angela Dunn who had a kidney transplant in 1970, and is still living a healthy life with the same kidney. She's thought to be the longest surviving transplant patient in the world. Whilst this may be unusual, there's other people lived longer than 30 years, and of course many people where a transplant hasn't worked, or only for a few years. There are so many variables that you can only put an average 'expected' time.

I know this isn’t related to diabetes but thought I’d just give a little insite. My husband, his dad and grandad all died of prostate cancer (my husband was diagnosed aged 48!) but because he was very active and fit he didn't die until he was 61, although still young. Anyway of course this is an hereditary disease so my son was given the opportunity to have gene therapy. It took him a few years to come to terms with it as he didn’t want to know and preferred not to be told he had the defective gene. But now he has a wife and daughter, his attitude has changed.
Could your lad benefit from counselling as it’s sometimes better talking through his emotions and questions with a stranger? Apologies for the long post

Vince01 said:

Thanks missmuffet,
So sorry about your loss I can't even try to imagine the pain you have been through.
You are right,our minds change as we get older so now might not be the time, I, to, don't wish my son to worry, maybe needlessly, at the moment,I wouldn't know how to start that conversation with him.
I think ,in a previous post there might not even be the possibility of me donating, as T2, if that is okay then move on to actually asking if he wants to know. So I will telephone my DN .
Many thanks.

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As others have said, any decision for testing would be your son's, so out of your hands.

As I understand it (and I may be wrong), being a potentially inherited disorder, he may or may not develop the condition. I'm not entirely sure that knowing does anything to enrich his life, yours or his mother's. In fact, if he tested positive, it could lead to an addition psychological burden for his mother - irrespective of the rationality of that, bearing in mind it is completely outwith her control.

Even if your son tested positive what does it gain to know? It is possible that every ache or pain could be attributed (by him, or others) to the potential that his condition was developing. He would definitely be disadvantaged if he applied for life assurance, critical illness cover or income protection, as it would have to be declared for underwriting purposes.

If he eventually was diagnosed with the condition, like may there is no straight line rate for progression. Some will have a tougher time than others.

To be honest, his best bet for now would be to keep himself healthy, with a bit of an eye on his blood pressure. High blood pressure is one of the triggers for kidney disease, per se, not specifically polycystic kidney disease.

Sometimes knowing is good. Sometimes it really isn't good. Only he can decide, and I would urge you not to try to sway him, because if he tested positive, and found it a really mental burden, he could end up seeing it as your fault.

Not easy, but what are the wins in knowing?