http://manflu.info/womans_role/womans_role.htm
Stage 1 - I think I'm coming down with a cold.Don't forget, even medical experts recommend self diagnosis, and ALL men are experts at recognising the early stages. Here you will be expected to sympathise, any flippant comments now such as , "Oh I expect it's Man Flu is it?", will cause immediate deterioration. Preferred responses will be along the lines of, "There there, can I get you some chicken noodle soup and put your favourite Police! Camera! Action! DVD on?". This stage can last from one to three days.
Stage 2 - It's not a cold, it's the 'flu. Your beloved will barely be able to lift his fingers to work the remote control by now. There will be dramatic displays of coughing and chest holding. He will present a red and sniffly nose, and a phantom fever. Do not mention <begin sarcasm˃ Man 'Flu <end sarcasm˃. Instead continue to serve comfort food and provide him with a selection of men's magazines (such as FHM or Maxim) to take his mind off the illness ravaging his poor body. You may also be required to gently dab his forehead with a lightly dampened sponge or massage his feet. This life threatening stage may last from three to five days.
Stage 3 - It's not completely gone, but I think it's going. By now your beloved will be physically exhausted. He will have spent the previous seven days teetering on the brink of death only to have pulled through. However, he will start to feel less 'achy all over', and begin to move short distances away from the sofa. Hang in there with your pampering, you're nearly done. This stage can typically last from six to ten days. Please be aware that any sarcastic references to Man Flu at this stage can render the hapless victim straight back to the life threatening stage 2. He should be allowed a suitable period of convalescence (the length to be suggested by him) prior to being tasked with household tasks.
Yep, that just about sums it up. That is exactly what we get and feel. However there are a few minor points that need clearing up.
1) Should the supply of Chicken Noodle soup run out at Asda, it is the responsibility of the carer to check availability at Morrisons, Aldi, Tesco's, Lidl, Co-op and local Londis stores. The Chicken soup is a vital part of the recovery. This can under very special circumstances be replaced with Cream of Tomato.
2) Police Camera Action is a long standing TV series which should last much longer than the 3-5 days as mentioned above. If it doesn't, then the carer has not been recording all the episodes as promised and so should therefore go out and buy the complete box set.
3) The remote should never be the responsibility of the flu sufferer. With fingers and joints that are so weak that even the mere lifting of a simple gadget like a remote can cause excruciating pain, the carer should be at beck and call to the sufferer and be willing to change channels for him. At this point I suggest a bell be placed at the side of the bed.
4) Should the sufferer laps into a life threatening coma, then this will be because the carer has not performed her duties to the best of her capabilities. Once said sufferer has managed to pull himself through this crucial stage of neglect , and overcome the remainder of the symptoms, it is not advisable to allow him to do any manual work around the house but instead to let him convalesce with friends at his local.
Oh yeh and they're bloody deaf when they want to be
Two big barrells blazing awaynow's that's formidable
My New Year's Resolution will be the same as the last few years. I won't make New Year's Resolutions because I always feel bad when I fail.
Reminds me of a scene in 'Cheers'...
'Uh, huh, look at the warheads on that Sam?'
Would that be Cliff?
Right now, thinking about them, I can't match that quote to any of the other suspects.....
Would that be Cliff?
Right now, thinking about them, I can't match that quote to any of the other suspects.....
Zand it is always meaningful not to smoke or so I tell myself now and then when a spot of lung cancer would seem like a minor problem compared with the lack of cigs in my life. It comes and goes you know.
Spot on... I think! It's been about 24 years since I saw the clip so... (Cliff was the USMail man, right?)
Sadly Mr scandi loved this....http://manflu.info/womans_role/womans_role.htm
Stage 1 - I think I'm coming down with a cold.Don't forget, even medical experts recommend self diagnosis, and ALL men are experts at recognising the early stages. Here you will be expected to sympathise, any flippant comments now such as , "Oh I expect it's Man Flu is it?", will cause immediate deterioration. Preferred responses will be along the lines of, "There there, can I get you some chicken noodle soup and put your favourite Police! Camera! Action! DVD on?". This stage can last from one to three days.
Stage 2 - It's not a cold, it's the 'flu. Your beloved will barely be able to lift his fingers to work the remote control by now. There will be dramatic displays of coughing and chest holding. He will present a red and sniffly nose, and a phantom fever. Do not mention <begin sarcasm˃ Man 'Flu <end sarcasm˃. Instead continue to serve comfort food and provide him with a selection of men's magazines (such as FHM or Maxim) to take his mind off the illness ravaging his poor body. You may also be required to gently dab his forehead with a lightly dampened sponge or massage his feet. This life threatening stage may last from three to five days.
Stage 3 - It's not completely gone, but I think it's going. By now your beloved will be physically exhausted. He will have spent the previous seven days teetering on the brink of death only to have pulled through. However, he will start to feel less 'achy all over', and begin to move short distances away from the sofa. Hang in there with your pampering, you're nearly done. This stage can typically last from six to ten days. Please be aware that any sarcastic references to Man Flu at this stage can render the hapless victim straight back to the life threatening stage 2. He should be allowed a suitable period of convalescence (the length to be suggested by him) prior to being tasked with household tasks.
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