Newly diagnosed, confused and worried

Hi, it's going to be ok. Take a deep breath. You're in the right place there people here with knowledge and we can support you.
First your dr is right you can put this into remission, it is going to take work and a change of eating habits but that's ok you can do this and it sounds like this can be a positive for your children you will be settling such a great example for their future. That sound like a great dad to me. It's early days and I am by no means an expert, I got diagnosed in Feb 23 but I have spent sometime learning I've read a few books about diabetes and what's going on that's made me feel more in control. Ask your diabetes nurse or Dr about doing a diabetes course I did one at my local hospital and it was very helpful and I got to meet others, including a man who had put his into remission!. Ask to speak to a dietician they can help. Get appointments for all the other things eyes kidney and get cholesterol done too. Get an appointment to get your hba1c redone but not until after at least 3 months after your first (very important to have that gap its more accurate that way). There's a low carb forum here that's what I've been doing and it's great. I've also bought a load of low carb cook books and have been cooking, much better than the freezer box meals I had before. I'd share the news with your friends if they are mates they will want to be there for your and help. There are other drinks beside beer and larger ( I am a whiskey drinker myself, lucky as that is low in carbs). This is all down to you it's yours to take control. It will take effort and you will have days where you think uggh!, but that's ok we all do but don't give up. Don't give in, and soon you will be a feel better happier and in control of your health. This forum is here with support and loads of knowledge from some great people.
X

Welcome to the club nobody wanted to join. When first diagnosed it is a big shock to the system.
Firstly you did not do it to yourself. you may have contributed, ironically by following what is deemed "healthy eating".
If you want to control it, and live a healthy long life, it is imperative that you TEST your blood levels. You are told not to, because then the NHS does not have to provide the means to do it.
Your problem in a nutshell, is that your system no longer uses Insulin properly, Due to Insulin resistance it cannot move enough of the Glucose from your blood stream, into muscles and cells. So it over produces Insulin to try to force it in. Because it can't it has to convert it to fat and store it.
There are many ways to treat it, the now traditional way, is to throw various drugs at it, getting stronger and stronger, until nothing works, hence the medical professions thinking that it's a progressive disease with an ultimately bad prognosis.
Many of us on here, follow the approach of eating low carbohydrate. IT WORKS.
There are 3 macro nutrients, Carbohydrate, Protein, and Fat. The human body needs absolutely nothing that Carbohydrates offer. Carbs are broken down into Glucose, our approach is if you don't put too many carbs in, your blood GLUCOSE level, doesn't rise as much, any sugar needed, a very small amount, is produced by our Livers via a process called Gluconeogenesis.
If you eat low carb, at a low enough level, your system uses Ketones as fuel, yes we're dual fuel entities. Evolution saw to it that we can happily survive without Carbs, as our distant ancestors did during winter.
Forget the concept of calories, Carbs are all that matter. You have to eat more protein and natural fat to replace the carbs you don't eat. Low carb IS harder, as a vegetarian, but there are lots on here that can help you with advice.

The main message is don't worry, dive into the forum and research away, you will probably end up knowing a lot more about type 2 diabetes than your doctor does. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A STUPID QUESTION. the only way to learn is read and ask. we'll help you along your journey, and very quickly you'll find yourself helping others.
Also if you decide to go low carb, your wife may be disappointed to find your weight loss far outstrips hers, and she's paying for the privilege.

To low-carb as a vegetarian, the approach I take is not to have bread, pasta and other grain-based foods. I avoid potatoes and other root vegetables that are carb-rich (not all are, e.g. radishes are quite low). I do eat pulses, e.g. lentils and chickpeas etc., as well as eggs and cheese to provide adequate protein. Other than that, I make sure I have enough fat (full-fat milk and yoghurt, cream, olive oil, butter, and proper mayonnaise etc. ) not to feel hungry. Snacks are normally nuts, eggs, olives, peanut butter, cheese, and so on - i.e. full of fat to satisfy. And lots of leafy vegetables, lots of salad leaves, cabbages of all varieties, cauliflower and broccoli, courgettes, aubergines, mushrooms galore, tomatoes (but in moderation), shallots (instead of onions which caused my blood sugars to spike), garlic and of course lots of herbs and spices for flavour, oh and homemade cream, butter or yoghurt based sauces are great!

Following a low-carb diet over the last year has brought my HbA1c down from 74 mmol/l to 37 mmol/l. I've lost 20kg so far (still some to go, but it's still coming down), and my blood pressure has returned to normal ranges, as have my lipid levels.

I found using a meter to check my blood sugar levels before and 2 hours after was very useful and provided immediate feedback on what I should and shouldn't eat. It's very satisfying seeing your average blood sugar levels dropping week by week and seems far more helpful than waiting 3 months. I used the MySugr app and Carb Manager app, but you could just keep a record in a spreadsheet yourself.

Oh, I forgot to mention fruit - the bad news is most fruit is too full of carbs for us, but in particular, tropical fruits like bananas and mango, my favourite flavour in the world should be off the menu. You might be okay with the occasional apple (but check using a meter, we are all different), and most find berries are okay in moderation (again, check with a meter to find out if and how much your body is okay with).

vaulterrise said:

Oh, and do you eat any meat substitutes @Lobsang Tsultim ? I don’t know which are the best or worst, but I do like a veggie meatball, burger, sausage etc. I know tofu is supposed to be good.

Click to expand...

I eat meat, but I also eat meat substitutes. It varies a lot how carby they are, it's worth spending some time in the supermarket to compare the backs of the packages. Look at the carbs per 100 grams to get an idea on which ones are higher and lower carb.

vaulterrise said:

I think I’m also going to get a monitor regardless of what the doc says. It seems crazy to just guess how I’m doing and only find out every few months.

Click to expand...

Perfect!

I'll tag @Rachox , who has information on meters to buy, the costs of the teststrips vary a lot between brands so you want to pick one with cheap-ish strips.

vaulterrise said:

Just to also add, it feels like there are so many dietary directions and advice out there. I know plenty of people say low carb, but it seems others promote scientific studies that say the opposite.

Click to expand...

This is why a meter/sensor is so useful.
It's unbiased and simply tells you what foods do and don't agree with your diabetes.

Once you've got a meter, you will be very skeptical about that study, when you see the evidence before your own eyes.
What do you think a study funded by the meat industry might show.

The problem with any diet, Slimming World included, is that there is always the thought that when the weight has been lost, normal service can resume.
However, as a diabetic, you will always have a problem with carbs and its
best to start adopting the attitude of having a way of eating for life" (WOE or WOEFL) rather than just changing things short term.
I found, as do many others, that when I concentrated on eating to my meter (ie low carb foods that kept my bg as low as possible) the weight fell off more as a happy side effect than an intention.
Weight gain hasn't caused your T2, rather your T2 (caused by insulin resistance) has caused the weight gain.
The nice thing about low carb is that you can eat rich satisfying foods that keep you full, whereas with most other diets you always feel restricted or hungry.
But also don't panic or stress, change takes time, habits take tiem to embed and any diabetes complications take years to manifest. You've got time to learn and adapt. Your kids will love you for it.

vaulterrise said:

If I wasn’t vegetarian I think I’d have a very easy time with low carbs. I just can’t think what I’ll be eating and some of the stuff I’ve seen makes me think I can’t stick to it. I don’t want to give up being vegetarian.

Click to expand...

What kind of foods do you like to eat?
We may be able to help you with some easy adjustments.

For instance, a moussaka (tastes just as well with vegetarian mince as with meat mince) is a perfectly good meal if you leave out the potatoes and maybe add some more veggies.

Any pastasauce (bolognese (veg. mince again), or cheese, or whatever else you like) goes well with cabbage or cauliflower, or can even be eaten on it's own, maybe with some extra veggies. Many people use spiralised courgette instead of pasta, or they buy one of the low carb pastas.

The old potatoes-protein-veggies meal is no worse with two kinds of veggies instead of the potato, especially not with a generous knob of butter and some salt on the veggies.

I really like cauliflower purée as a substitute for mashed potatoes: Boil cauliflower, drain, leave for a minute to lose more water from steam, add knob of butter, salt, spices if you like (or just use a herbs stock cube like I do instead, I'm lazy), and either sour cream or cream cheese, whatever you have on hand. Stick in your stick blender and whizz away until smooth, tastes more like mashed potatoes than like cauliflower.

There are lots of low carb variations on bread, both store bought and home made.
They are fine as a vessel for butter and cheese, or marmite, or eggs, or whatever you like to have on your bread, but they are definitely not bread. Still, it works for me (but I do miss bread).

Yes, I eat some meat substitutes - tofu and seitan most regularly. Quorn is also not a bad choice.

As for the Forksoverknives diet - that was pretty much what I ate for thirty years, and it gave me diabetes. From your posts, it sounds like you, too, already eat a whole food plant-based diet. If that prevented and reversed diabetes, how have you developed it? To say I'm sceptical would be an understatement. In my opinion, the only reason their diet has some benefit is because it restricts calories which leads to some weight loss. But that restriction is hard to maintain, just like all calorie-restrictive diets. Since switching to low-carb and high-fat, I've lost weight and reduced my blood sugars, blood pressure and lipids to normal levels. According to some fancy scales, my body fat percentage is also going down (but they're also notoriously unreliable). I've had to tighten my belt quite a few times in the past year due to my waist getting smaller.

Example meals:
Yesterday
Breakfast: Bowl of yoghurt with nuts and a spoonful of cocoa powder, coffee with cream.
Lunch: 2 hard-boiled eggs chopped and mixed with peas, some emmental cheese, large helping of chard with freshly grated parmesan, and a big dollop of herb mayonnaise.
Dinner: Green lentils with a homemade hot chilli sauce, fennel and carrots (not many) in a creamy, cheesy sauce, courgette and aubergine ratatouille and a big helping of mixed salad leaves. Dressed with lashings of olive oil and a sprinkling of gomasu (sesame seeds roasted with salt).
No snacks, wasn't hungry.

Today
Breakfast: coffee with cream (wasn't hungry)
Lunch: spinach omelette, olives and cheese on the side
Tea: Don't know yet, but it will definitely include loads of salad leaves. Maybe some stir-fried sprouts, bell peppers and celery in homemade satay sauce