please help

Hi Lottie,well as cruel as it may sound the short sharp shock may do it.Telling him about all the 'nasties' ahead of him may help.Will he be able to do all his favourite things without toes/feet for instance? His mother needs a severe wakeup call as well but that is probably more diffecult,why does she think he doesn't need to control his diabetes ,I wonder? Has his doctor spoken to both of them?

Your boyfriend sounds like he needs the scare tactics - kidney damage, eye problems, possible issues with circulation to the feet resulting in amputation. He probably isn't sure what to do now if hes been this way for years it must be a frightening thing for him to be told after so long its his responsibility now when no-ones maade him do it sooner.
Ask him to look on the forum, he could get some good advice here - how can his mother say he soen't need to look after himself!

mmmm thats what my mum thought when she got diabetes. too busy working so didnt look after herself, not testing bgs and missing appointments. Now she is on a waiting list for a kidney transplant and has had numerous eye ops. I was going to give her one of my kidneys. I lost 5 stone to be able to, then I too developed type 1 diabetes. So now she has to wait . But boy do I put my health first . I never miss appointments and check BGs regually , seeing the state she got herself into is a big incentive. He may feel fine now but I dread to think the harm he is doing to himself. Thats the nasty thing about diabetes, you dont realise anythings wrong untill it becomes too late to reverse the damage. Tell him to wake up and live in the real world, it's no good going through life thinking it wont happen to me. because it can and does happen to anyone even him. He needs a bleedin good shove not a push, He is going to end up with all sorts of problems if he carries on like he is. It's not only himself he is going to hurt, but all those that love him, I know , I would do anything to make my mum better, but because I got this stupid illness I cant . It's too late for my mum ,but he has still got the chance to do somthing about it. lets just hope he grabs that chance with both hands

His mother sounds like a right muppet but at the end of the day, he must want to hear what she's saying. Get him to check his bloods in front of you some night. Then when he comes up with ridiculously high results explain to him what is waiting for him in a few years.

Might work, might not.

Alternatively, point out that he's hurting you by not taking care of himself. What happens to you if he gets himself killed by kidney failure in a few years?