Hi Clarissa,
I'm not sure that any of us can advise you on what questions you should ask as only you know what doubts and uncertainties you have about your diabetes. From what you say about your last appointment it sounds like you already asked a lot of questions, so this time perhaps take a small notebook and jot down the answers? Please don't take that as a criticism - we've all been where you are now and it is very confusing at first - there is just so much to learn about this condition. However I can give some ideas on other points you raise based on my own experiences.
A blood glucose monitor is absolutely essential if you are to gain any level of control over your sugar levels. But you are highly unlikely to be given one (unless your diabetes nurse happens to have a spare and is feeling generous). They are not available on prescription, although strangely the test strips (which are much more expensive than the monitors) are available on the NHS.
When you say you eat a lot of carbs, what form is this in? If it is pasta then you could try Dreamfields, which has only 5g of digestible carb per serving (the rest passes through without converting to sugar). It tastes exactly like any other pasta. But it is not widely stocked and can be difficult to get hold of (not sure if they do mail order). Their website has a list of stockists. I am lucky - I pass a stockist on my way home from work.
If it is potatoes then you can be more selective in eating only types that have a lower effect on your blood glucosr levels, i.e. those with the lowest glycaemic level. For example peeled and boiled new potatoes are 50% lower GL than jacket potatoes. Here is a link to the most comprehensive GI/GL list of foods that I have come across
http://www.gilisting.com/2004/05/bakery ... index.html
One thing that we have all found is that different foods affect each of us in different ways. In my case pasta sends my sugar levels sky high, potatoes raise it a little, but bread has very little effect. Most people seem to find that potatoes and bread have a much bigger impact than they do on me. We all have different metabolisms and you need to understand yours before you can know how to help yourself.
Your IBS sounds a b.u.m.m.e.r (excuse the pun). Unfortunately one of the worst side effects of metformin is that it can irritate the stomach resulting in a bad case of the runs - the last thing someone with IBS needs! If you have to go onto metformin then ask about Glucophage. This is just metformin but in a slow release form so much less harsh on the digestive system. Just make sure that your diabetic nurse is aware of the IBS.
Last but not least, keep reading these forums. There is an enormous amount of information on here from a great number of people who have lived with this condition a lot longer than I have and are much wiser than me.