Slowly killing self :(

hi Claire

Welcome to the forum

Sounds like your having a bad old time of it. However, it also sounds like you've turned a corner. You're right, you have to take care of yourself to be able to take care of your little one.

There are lots of experienced people on here who can help you. You're not alone.

I suggest you go back to basics, read through the info on the forum - have a look in the greeting and intro's section, you'll see the post Daisy gives to new people.

Re the 'hating to do the injections' - seems to me like you may be resenting being diabetic? Thing is, it aint going anywhere, and those pesky injections are your saviour, keeping you going to love and look after your lovely girl. Without them, your snookered I'm afraid.

Keep asking questions

Mary x

Hi Claire

I read your post with some interest because, like Mary, you may have some difficulty with coming to terms with the illness you have. Depression is an issue, because that can make even simple tasks difficult - and I know as I've been there.

Talking about it helps, and you've certainly come to the right place so I hope you will make lots of friends here.

I was also thinking - given the difficulty in injecting, have you considered the possibility of having an insulin pump?

Dave x

Hya Claire,

I have been a diabetic 55 years now and had over 50,000 injections and I am still here to tell the tale. I have resented it, God, knows how many times! Unfortunately, I've had to kick myself up the bum a few times to sort my myself out.

I have had just about everything you can think of illnesses, medication you name it, I've had it! That is when I came to realise it really is possible to improve your situation dramatically! You cannot change your health if you do the same thing over and over again. That was what I was doing and expecting my health to change. It is a big thing to do - but if you do it "little by little" and "step by step".

You can do it! YOU REALLY CAN! It really is possible!

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The key to improving is to try and be as positive as you can. If I can do it you can too. I've have got two fantastic kids and I love 'em very much.

The first thing you need to do is eat as healthily as you possibly can. I thought I did until about ten years ago. My quality of life was dire - it has improved dramatically from eating better, I now eat between 10 and 14 vegetables (in total), salads and fruits a day which have improved my health dramatically. Try not to eat too many carbs as they caused me huge health problems i.e. massive inflammation and chronic pain. Limit the fruits too because of the sweetness in them. Everyone needs about 12 tsps of sugar a day for their brain to be active - which you can obtain from fruits, pots etc.. The darker the vegetables/fruits are the more nutritious they are for you.

I have realised over a matter of time; (many years in fact), that it is exactly what most people are sadly lacking and are vastly deficient in the essential vitamins and minerals they need. Unfortunately, they do not realise the nature of the beast, when they eat processed foods and sugary drinks and lots of carbs they really do cause massive damage to every part of our bodies. It is this deficiency which causes most illnesses in my opinion. I hope this helps. I am not a doctor or nurse I just have 55 years of living, eating and breathing the experience. If I can help - I would love too.

Lyn x

Heya Claire,

Awww hang in there Remember that those injections not only make you well (and save your life) but also make you well enough to look after your lil one. I have been depressed a few times too, I know it can be really difficult to over come, then when you do you worry when the next time will be. I that by taking your injections, which will lead to you putting weight back on and you feeling healthier will hopefully make you feel happier too. I hate injecting too, I went through a stage of not injecting at all which of course sent my sugars way up high and made me feel ill. I also realised that not injecting made me loose weight, which I thought would make me happy so I've battled with the injections too. Now, every time I inject, I think about how it literally saves my life, how it lets me go to uni and improve my life (I'm a 'mature' student at 31!) etc. I also hate how much it takes over everything, how testing and injecting is supposed to be more important than anything else. I think I resented the diabetes a few times like someone suggested could be something you are feeling.

I'm not sure I know anyone with type 1 who hasn't felt a bit like that at some stage. Keep strong, try to think positively about the injections. Though they can hurt and they are a pain, they are saving your life so that you can be with your daughter. Hold on to that thought and when you think about missing a dose, think of your daughter and do it for her.

Don't feel alone, keep in touch on here. There are so many lovely people on here who will help you.

Anna

caire hello,

My name is Frida ,27 years old i am from ISRAEL, have diabetes type 1for 9.5 years
4 years ago i have started to inject insulin in a very precise way by writing down the carbs quantities that i eat and calculated injection doses in a little note which was in my glucometer pouch.
since than i have started to do the same, but in a much easier way.
I control my diabetes with my smart phone, with the help of an Excel spreadsheet (a free app)
which i programmed to calculate automatically the injection dose according to the amount of food that i ate in a meal. it helps me to achieve a very good balance (the last HBA1C=6.9), highly recommended.

Hi Claire,
I felt so sad when reading your post. I completely understand what you're going through. I've been there many times, but like everyone says 'you are in the right place', and well done for finding the strength to seek help because that's the first step.
I'm 27 and been a diabetic for 8 years now. I was in denial for the first two and over three admissions to the hospital for DKA. I lost so much weight it was ridiculous! I was knocking at death's door! I have struggled to keep my sugars under control for years, and because of this I now have Diabetic Neuropathy. It's no joke! It's severely crippling and prevents me from doing the simplest of things. I kick myself everyday for not taking diabetes seriously from the very beginning. Having several DKA admissions a year, for years and still the penny didn't drop...until, my father died from diabetes 3 years ago! I was depressed for 2 years straight, and even contemplated taking my own life. In those two years my control was through the roof, I just didn't care anymore. Fortunately, I found the strength with support from friends and I made a conscious decision to change my life. In the past year, I have been testing more than ever before. I enrolled on the Dafne course, which was great. (I recommend it, seriously) Then, spoke to my diabetes nurse about getting on the pump, and now I should be getting it in a months time. (Very excited)

So, Claire, I feel your concerns deeply, and the fact that you're concerned shows you acknowledge there is something to be concerned about. You know what you need to do, and no one here can tell you...because only you know all the changes you need to do. Don't rush, it takes time...but please continue to take it seriously...it's your life and your daughter needs you.

Talk to your diabetes specialist team about Dafne course and the insulin pump.

Chin up and take care of you.

Candice x

Hi Claire,

I agree with Mary J, it does sound like you have turned a corner. I was in a similar boat this time last year (in terms of not wanting to inject). for me it was painful, annoying and a general hindrance in everything I tried to do. I was lucky enough at this stage to be given a pump, I was thrilled. It was a lot of hard work, ALOT of hard work but it meant that I didn't have to inject anywhere between 4 and 8 times a day, I was thrilled.
Six months later my bg's started to rise very very high totally out of the blue, this resulted in Keytones and hospital visits. It turned out my body had started to reject the cannulla's, my body was attacking them and I wasn't able to get any insulin. I felt so ill for months, in the end I collapsed at work and spent a few days in hospital. The pump was taken from me and I went back onto injections, at this point I was feeling better and I realised that taking injections wasn't so bad after all. It meant that I wouldn't have to feel so bad so I would put up with it, a year later I have not once complained about injecting, haven’t wanted to. I think for me it was trying something different that helped me realise injections aren’t so bad.

I just want to let you know you’re not alone, I know how you feel about injections, I know how you feel about diabetes, (I am 29, diagnosed when I was 17) I have have struggled for years with accepting it. I've finally come to terms with the fact it aint going away and neither are the injections, but that isn't a bad thing, the injections keep you on your feet. i really hope that you feel better someday about having diabetes and I hope you and your child keep well! =D

Regards

Daniel

Hey Claire,

As one still coming to terms with Diabetes all albeit not on meds myself, but with previous experience of caring for someone who would not inject their meds inspite of visits to a&E etc, I hope you are doing ok, as you haven't posted on here for a while..

Please, Please keep taking your meds, as you have become aware the alternative isn't very pleasant, and the meds are literally giving you life to help your little one grow with the kindness and warmth of mothers love, something for which there is no substitute.

Stick with it, ask the practice nurse if you can see a dietician rather than a doctor for advice on regaining the weight or ask for a diabetes clinic appointment and tackle it that way round, above all don't give up.......

Life is worth fighting for.

Claire
sady as a T1, there's currently nothing other than insulin. You need psychological support and maybe a bit of respite care with your baby. As a mother and grandmother, I know how exhausting a 2+ year old can be.
Contact Diabetes Uk, they have loads of ueful information. They may be able to find you a few hours baby sitting per week or a few hours nursery care for your daughter.
You baby needs you to be as fit as you can she'll get much more active yet and if she hasn't already stopped havig an afternoon nap, she soon will. You don't need to get any more exhausted.
Do you have a support network of friends and family?
Hana
Has your diabetes care team suggested a pump?

Hi just wanted to say you have plenty of people giving there help to you which is great I won't confuse you but want to share something that helped me .I've been diabetic type 1 for 41 years I was depressed as being young it seemed my world had ended I grew up resenting that I had diabetes I had problems not be able to control it . I had a change of mind my resentment was a big problem I stopped resenting and things took a turn for the better then I went on a Dafne course that was 10 years ago and things have been so much better I haven't had an hba1c out of the 6s since . I hope things improve for you :smile:
p me

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I have no real or proper advice but I want to say you not alone and I really want to give you a hug and tell
You it will be ok
K


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hi im lisa,
im 39 years old and need some help, ive been a diabetic for over 25 years and can i just say ive never accepted it, im type 1 insulin dependent 4 times a day, i rarely take my insulin as it always makes me feel so down and i suppose at some stage i thought in my own head i was punishing myself for all the regret and upset ive had in my life, my temper is getting worse i have terrible mood swings and my sex life is not good as i just dont have feeling down there, my husband is finding it hard and this has upset me seeing him and maybe this was my wake up call, my sugars ave been running in there late teens up to 24 for numerous years habc1 runs about 12/14. have had help from the hospital and nurses etc and i keep letting everyone down and i dunno why? recently i have been taking my insulin but have been all over the place as i cannot stand my mood swings and the tirdness gets too much also have started to lose the feeling in my feet cannot define if my feet our hot or cold and the numbness in my toes my hands constantly feel tight and swollen and all ,my joints our sore when im out walking, i know i shouldnt feel like this at my age and before someone tells me its my own fault i really do know and trust me im torturing myself in my own head. since ive been married its the happiest ive ever been but im ruining it with my mood swings/tirdness and this illness, just dunno wot to do anymore i need help from someone, how do i start again..
lisatb

Posts: 1
Joined: March 3rd, 2013, 4:11 pm
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I'm T2, so perhaps a bit cheeky contributing here. I just wanted to pick up on a point made earlier in the chain, viz "everyone needs 12 tsp of sugar a day to keep their brain active": the brain may need that amount of blood glucose, but you don't need to eat it in the form of fruit or whatever. I am on a very low carb diet (max. 50g per day, often much less) and my brain has not stopped working yet. The body can make blood glucose from protein and fat, but it does it slowly; so you can take in what you need in a form that will not cause spikes. I believe the brain is actually capable of running on ketones, which are produced when the body metabolises fat, but I've only read that in one place.

As I said, I'm T2, and don't inject insulin, so I have to avoid BG spikes by avoiding carbs; so my observations should not be taken as suitable advice for a T1.


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I'm 19 I got Diagnosed with diabetes when I was 15 and haven't look after my self since I don't wont it and can't stand it but its hear and not going to go there are people much worse of then me and I feel bad for not taking Care of my self but I suffer from Depression and that don't help ! I want a pump but the doc just seas the same thing over and over its all about the price !


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Hi Claire. Like you, I have been diabetic for a very long time and I have a 2 and a half year old. I wanted to focus on a big positive here. You have managed a T1 pregnancy and got a beautiful result. If you can do that, you can do anything! Get on a Dafne type course if you can. It may just help you gain control of your life. Something important to anyone facing anything that they resent. Good luck and keep talking. It will help! Julie

Claire,
Please take heart, sadly one cannot escape diabetes, it is there with you and you have to get on with your life and not let diabetes take the upper hand. I have been insulin dependent for 62 years now and believe me the medication and food is so, so much easier than it was in the good old days. Take each day as a separate unit, learn your insulin routine, you will get to a point when you are so good and quick at the injections you will wonder whether you have done them, but do them you must. Once you loose control this starts a vicious cycle and it is mainly downward. You must take care of yourself to help you little one. She must be able to know that mum is able to do things with her, go places, etc., without any dramas. Teach her how to cope with hypos, as in jelly babies and sweet drinks. Get her to tell you when it is time to do your injections, make it a joint family affair and pull through together as a family. My son was able to cope with my hypos by the time he was 4 years old and then if he needed more help he learnt how to ring his granny who would help him over the phone.
It is a very annoying and depressing disease if you allow it to be, but don't let it get to that point. Please contact me on my facebook page if I can be any further help, I have been there, done that and am now also coeliac and that is far, far worse than diabetes, believe me when you have to combine the two. I assure you it is possible, just do not let diabetes get the upper hand, you are the boss and organiser, go for it, Claire. Your health and that of your family depend on you getting the upper hand.

Carroll Trevor

Hey! I'm 21, so I can understand the age part, but what you need is some support. I HATE my diabetes but there's no way around it! I ended up with a leg ulcer and had such a fuss with it all cos of my diabetes and I was suicidal cos of it. You need to talk to people in you're condition. You will get through! promise. Needles are horrible but just think once its done its done! Enjoy you're day, get that needle done and enjoy you're evening please talk to people on here, it's helping me read posts as I realise I'm not alone soo much people have diabetes and I can ask anything! Keep faith you're daughter needs you, I'm sure she just wants her mummy to be healthy and the needles unfortunately contribute to it. X


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Hi Claire,
It sounds like you're having a really tough time of it. I know how you feel. I was diagnosed with Type 1 25 years ago and I still hate it. I have the complication of no warning signs for hypo and have suffered with hypo comas for many years with multiple admissions to hospital. You need to find someone you can talk to who will support you and encourage you. You have to know that you're not alone. Have you asked about seeing a dietician about helping you find stuff you can eat that will help you put weight on. Also as your doctor about a pump. This may help you enormously as there is much less injecting (only when you need to change the insertion site) and you get little devices that actually help you do this. All in all the pump is great and it sounds like it would be ideal for you. I don't know what the requirements for a pump are where you like, but if you have a good diabetes team they should be able to do something to help you. Please ask them and don't give up. Remember your little girl needs you and you should be able to enjoy every minute of these early years with her. Remember when you feel alone and need to talk just post here on the forum and someone will talk to you and encourage you. Don't give up, you'll get there. :thumbup:

Sketcher said:

I'm T2, so perhaps a bit cheeky contributing here. I just wanted to pick up on a point made earlier in the chain, viz "everyone needs 12 tsp of sugar a day to keep their brain active": the brain may need that amount of blood glucose, but you don't need to eat it in the form of fruit or whatever. I am on a very low carb diet (max. 50g per day, often much less) and my brain has not stopped working yet. The body can make blood glucose from protein and fat, but it does it slowly; so you can take in what you need in a form that will not cause spikes. I believe the brain is actually capable of running on ketones, which are produced when the body metabolises fat, but I've only read that in one place.

As I said, I'm T2, and don't inject insulin, so I have to avoid BG spikes by avoiding carbs; so my observations should not be taken as suitable advice for a T1.


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I agree. My brain works much better now I'm on LCHF and avoiding what I call 'direct sugars'. I'm not a saint so I do have the odd cream doughnut and yesterday at work, for a change, I had one of those instant coffee sachets that includes the milk and didn't notice that it also included sugar. About an hour after drinking it I suddenly started feeling hungry (which rarely happens to me), my brain felt like I had a hangover and I wanted to go to sleep at 3pm. No such luck though, I don't finish work until 5pm!

I very rarely eat butter now because I don't eat bread and I don't use oil at all in cooking because I buy fatty meats like rib-eye, braising steak, bacon WITH the fat left on and I have single cream every day, so I get my fats that way and I must admit I enjoy my so called 'fatty foods' and so does my digestion. As soon as I eat bread or cakes, or other carbs my tummy immediately starts gurgling and grumbling as if it's trying hard to cope with them. With protein and fat my tummy doesn't protest.