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Stillbirth

S

sioux

Member
Messages
15
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Hi, I recently lost my son at 37 weeks and 2 days.
My HBA1C throughout my pregnancy didn't go above 5.8.
I was told by my consultant how much of a fantastic job I did.
I became unwell at 36 weeks, my bms suddenly dropped 2 nights in a row.
My husband spent 6 hours feeding me sugar. We couldn't get my bms ABOVE 3.1 mmol, so he had to inject me with glucagon.
I got myself admitted into hospital and was told I had a suspected 'dying placenta'.
Throughout my stay for the 4 days, I had medical staff telling me I had poorly controlled diabetes, and that IF I went home before I had a special scan on my placenta "on my head be it if my baby dies!".
I stayed, and they gave me steroid injections in case I needed an emergency c section. They then told me that the steroids were going to push my bms through the roof! So I went from worrying about low bms to worrying about high bms.
On the day I was discharged the consultant laughed at me when I asked when I'd have my scan, he said I didn't need one!!!!!
I went home and 7 days later I discovered my son had died.
I made the decision to have a post mortem done.
I get the results and his placenta was blocked, and on the same page someone had written poorly controlled diabetes!!!!!!!
I have been blamed for my sons death, so much so someone felt the need to falsify my medical records.
I am fed up of being scared to speak to a dr regarding my physical health, I have spent 17 years controlling my diabetes to the point I'm now being told "I'm too controlled".
 
Sioux, I can't think of where to start, you have been treated appallingly. Have you contacted SANDS to ask for specialist support? They will have experience of helping people who want to challenge medical records etc.
You DID NOT cause your son's death, and nobody should have made you feel like this. I'd defintely take this further.
Other than that, I would just like to offer a huge virtual hug and hope you find some peace soon. Would you like to tell us your son's name or anything else about him?
 
Thank you Alzebra,
His name is Forrest John. Named after his father. We hadn't chosen a name when we found out he'd passed

He was born on the 14. 01. 2016 at 14:01 pm.

And he was perfect, looked just like his older sister.
I have heard about sands but I'm still dealing with my emotions.
 
I just wish that all diabetics were treated with the respect we deserve!
We are all individuals and shouldn't all be tarred with the same brush as those who with chose not to take care of themselves or who are trying their hardest to take care of themselves.
 
I send you, and your partner and your little girl, my deepest love and wishes for a peaceful life together really soon. I am appalled at how you were treated Sioux and have unstinted admiration for how you have conducted yourself - with grace, strength and bravery. Much love
 
What a lovely name, I had a very good friend who was called John Forest! How old is your daughter, and how's she coping with her loss? You've been through so much this year, I'm so touched by your story xxx
 
She's 2 years old. Yzabella. She's very tuned in. We haven't told her as she already knows. She tells me almost everyday " my baby brother is up in the sky mummy, shut your eyes and you can see him!"

She hugs me if I'm sad, and makes me laugh everyday.
 
Oh she sounds like a real treasure! My eldest was 2 when her little sister was born (I miscarried in between the two of them) and she was so helpful too. The little 'un had problems with keeping her milk down and would regularly bring up a whole feed. Big 'un would announce "I'll get you a new t shirt" and troop off upstairs to get me a change of clothes. Yzabella is being a great big sister too!
 
I am so sorry to read this. You have been through a terrible ordeal and the loss of Forrest John must be heartbreaking.

I hope that one day, when you are ready, you are able to channel your anger and loss into discouraging this treatment from ever happening to another mother and child. But not yet. Just be with your family for now,
 
Oh my. What a lot you've had to deal with.

I can't really express how sorry I feel for you having to deal with all of this. Communication is so critical in all things healthcare, and yet sometimes it is so poor. Of course, as a patient, I can be equally bad at expressing myself well; especially when emotions are running high.

One point I will make though is that I detest the use of the phrase "poorly controlled diabetes". It means so much, with so many meanings to so many people. It is my belief though that when a Doctor uses that term, they don't necessarily mean the patient has been careless or,negligent in any way, the mean that for whatever reason the bloods have not always been bang on optimal range. I can recall a discussion about that some time ago, when this came up.

I have to admit, I was quite surprised by that commonly accepted definition, because, like you, I would have taken it to be a personal slight. Min an emotional state,I would have taken it as a devastating body blow.

Why not ask whomever wrote to report to define the statement for you. It might help clarify whether that is something specific to be addressed in any complaint you consider making or whether it is a hugely unfortunate use of a potentially misleading and unfortunate phrase.

I do hope you and your family can begin to look forward to better times soon, because there will be better times when you,can all be happy again.
 
Alzebra, I am sooo glad I have her as she is what's keeping me going right now.
 
Brunneria, I would fight the world to get the respect we deserve!
I loathe being told that every health problem is blamed on diabetes.
I discovered that a trainee midwife spend 1 hour on diabetes!
Maybe there should be diabetic specialist midwifed as well as general nurses.
 
AndBreathe, unfortunately every dr/consultant is denying writing it in my medical notes, my sons death certificate and post mortem consent form.
 
sioux said:
AndBreathe, unfortunately every dr/consultant is denying writing it in my medical notes, my sons death certificate and post mortem consent form.
Click to expand...
Somebody signed those documents, and your medical notes will be initialled, signed or if electronic they will be traceable by the person who was logged into the machine at the time.

If someone signs a document, to validate it, in my view, they have effectively written what is in the document, unless it is specifically attributed to another person.

If nobody is taking accountability for the statement being there, then I think you are justified in asking for it to be removed. Under the Data Protection Act you have the right to ask for erroneous data to be removed from the record.

Who is looking after you and advising you on all this?
 
No one is looking after me. My local hospital is currently doing an investigation into his death.
They also used the data protection act to with hold the post mortem results from for over a week, stating I would find the results too distressing!
 
For you, I have no words to give you right now, but I feel for you X

 
@sioux I am so sorry for your loss, I cannot begin to comprehend how you must be feeling.

Please do take this further regarding the medical records once you feel able to.

Xxx
 
Well, at least they are familiar with the Act, and so should know their responsibilities and accountabilities. Is your GP at least supporting you on a personal basis?

Have the hospital given you any indication of how long their investigation is likely to take? Once you have that report, you may well want to seek legal support. It could be worthwhile looking to see if you have legal cover under any of your insurance policies. Sometime household insurance does, and sometimes employers offer it within their package. I used to have it for everything, apart from employment issues; as clearly an employer wouldn't want to give their employees a bit legal stick to beat them with!

This must all just seem like a nightmare.
 
Thank you both Robinredbreast and Mrsass!
I am definitely going to take it further.
I'm going to do it so that my fellow type 1ers don't worry constantly about being judged!
 
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