Stress from household members and diabetes - please help.

Hello again all. I know I've been a pain in the butt asking questions on here before and not really being able to answer too many myself since I'm new to all this, but I'm in somewhat of a tricky situation and I'm not sure how to approach the problem without making it worse.

As I've mentioned in the past, I am 22 and a type 1, I moved to Holland to be with my boyfriend. (technically a tourist here) At the moment I'm surviving off a biiig supply of insulin (Humulin M3 twice a day) and Metformin I managed to get from my doctor. Everything is fine except 2 things.

Firstly, my blood sugar seems to be stupid high a week before my period. It was 12 last night and that was AFTER taking my insulin and not eating anything except half a carrot to go with my Metformin. I wasn't hungry anyway and didn't want it to go even higher. I increased my dose today by one unit and now it's a bit low. Any tips for time of the month from experienced type 1 ladies? I don't really want to up my dose, as I have a limited supply and will have to pay quite a lot for more.

Secondly, the main problem I am concerned about is stress. I will be straight with all of you, my boyfriend is a disgusting, arrogant slob. He has been a bit more lenient since my diagnosis, but I don't think he understands/cares what constantly picking fights and making me do all the housework does to my blood sugar levels. Even raising voices and getting frustrated sends my blood sugar through the roof and I start to feel very unwell. He assumes I am faking it to "win the fight". I am not sure how to talk to him about it or make him comprehend how serious it is. He spends 99% of the time on the computer playing games, which I am okay with since I like to do my own thing as well. The thing that annoys me is the mess he makes and his outright refusal to help me for two seconds. I was away from here for 3 months, and when I came back, he did not clean the cat litter tray even ONCE. I spent my first 3 days back home cleaning the entire house, which I won't lie, was like something off of "How Clean is your House?" This is how bad he is. The worst thing is the constant disagreeing for the sake of it, and picking fights non-stop. He refuses to take responsibility for anything he does wrong, and I get the blame, then get upset, which in turn makes my diabetes even harder to manage than it already is.

Have any of you other diabetics had a similar problem of people close to you stressing you out and making your condition even more difficult? My doctor told me that I am literally not allowed to get stressed out under any circumstances. The first few weeks I kept a cool head, but with the PMS/PMT (sorry) going on right now, he is absolutely toxic to be around and I'm starting to crack. I've already lost my temper twice and it has made my blood sugar jump from 7 to 15. I have tried to explain how important it is that we support and take care of each other, and that safety and wellbeing comes before any disagreement, but he still persists. And I'm at my wit's end.

Re: Stress from household members and diabetes - please help

Hello again. Thank you for the reply. Sadly I'm alone in this country with no friends really, but that doesn't bother me. I do question why I stay but when I am away, I miss him and our cats very badly, they're my family now as silly as it sounds. I am a very, very tolerant person, but there is still a limit... which is when it becomes a potential health issue. We couldn't afford a cleaner, no.

I did show him on the metre the other day, but he is a very stubborn person who is in denial about a lot of things. Even with hard evidence he is the type to not believe the proof. If something "shouldn't" do that to my blood sugar, in his eyes, it doesn't and I am lying. He is an egomaniac and never caves or admits wrong, which is the most frustratingly annoying blood boiling type of person to deal with. (we all know one lol).

Regardless, generally he has been very patient with me through this whole ordeal, I just don't think he realizes that it's a lifelong new best friend that has moved into my body, and it isn't going to go away.

I also find it irritating when people around you who know NOTHING about diabetes try and lecture you and tell you what you can and can't have. Only people like us who actually have it learn that it's an individual condition and it's down to you to eat, test, and find out! For example, chocolate actually makes my blood sugar go down for some reason. I try to avoid it though, the less you have the less you crave.

Re: Stress from household members and diabetes - please help

Hi again. Thank you all for taking time to post. It's nice having some people to talk to who understand my condition. I took a look at your link, CC, and no I don't really identify with any of that. I don't clean after him out of guilt, I just cannot stand filth and get tired of asking him to clean it with no result. If the house is a mess, I'm in a bad mood. I should take pictures of his gross desk and post them haha!

I do have low self esteem, but not the kind where I'll "settle" for anything. I mean, we had our problems before I was diagnosed in June. We had a roommate who I couldn't stand, who was also my boyfriend's best friend. Boyfriend would never defend me and they always stood around talking in another language even though they both speak perfect English so I practically locked myself in the bedroom whenever roommate was home. Things got better when he moved out.

It was my choice to come back here. When I go home to the UK, I miss things, but then I remember why I left, etc. Oh, my boyfriend is also handicapped (not inhibiting) and doesn't work, even though he pays the bills - so I don't mind doing most the housework. I just get really ticked off when I'm slaving away for hours on end and he just sits there and does nothing. He won't even take his dishes to the kitchen, so the old food hardens and becomes unnecessary effort to clean. Even if he just offered to help, or asked if I was okay it at least shows care and some appreciation. I can't go on strike, because he is content living like a pig. The one thing I don't actually do is cook, we both see to ourselves when it comes to food. He has a wholegrain/fibre allergy and I can't eat the stuff he eats so we just do that separately. My dinner usually consists of chucking loads of veg in a blender and heating it up, whereas he'll scoff white bread and pizza.

I don't see myself having any children in the future, although I know outlook in that department can drastically change as you get older. Neither of us are really hardwired for having kids. Our two cats are naughty enough as it is. One person literally has to stay home and watch them because they're crazy. As for what I get out of the relationship, I get someone who understands me 100% and vice versa. I'm a bit odd, if I'll be honest. I don't really like going out and enjoy being in a comfy bubble with a cup of tea and soap operas.