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Suffering from depression.

EveryCloud

Well-Known Member
Messages
124
Type of diabetes
Type 2
Treatment type
Tablets (oral)
Anyone else here battling depression? This past year has been hellish. I can barely cope. All it takes is someone to say something bad to me, joking or not and I can lose sleep and analyse it for weeks. People that in the past I would be able to shrug off have infiltrated my psyche and I hate myself for it. I lock myself away these days.
I have been prescribed Trazodone at night to help me sleep and also help with anxiety and it is helping a bit, but it doesn't stop me beating myself up for feeling this way. My friends don't understand why I just can't 'get over it' and I don't understand either. I think about stupid things I did years ago and cry - I just don't understand what is going on with me or how it will ever end. Outside, and at work I put on a smile but in reality it is taking all my strength not to just crumble to the ground.

Anyone else feel this way? Or am I just crazy?
 
Yes, I was like that for many years. One thing I would say is have you had your vitamin D level checked? I recently got mine tested and it showed up an insufficiency, just one point off being deficient.

My GP referred me for 8 sessions of counselling too.
 
I will have to mention that to my doc about the vit-D, I usually take a Multi- vit every day anyway, but it would be worth getting it checked.
 
nice
I wish my antidepressants did that!
 
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Yes, I have felt the same way, and it is treatable and you can get better!

Talk therapy with a counsellor or therapist can help.

I agree with Vitamin D, you probably need more of it than is in your multivitamin. It can take quite a while to make a difference, so antidepressants are still needed initially.

Your doctor ideally should have done a range of blood tests for things like vitamin D, complete blood count, thyroid, iron, vitamin B12, and folate.

Trazadone might help, or it might not. It's a tetracyclic antidepressant, which is what people used before SSRIs came out in the 1990s. There are also several other types of meds that might help.

It would not normally be the first type of med that a doctor chooses for depression, because it can cause drowsiness, dry mouth, and other symptoms. I think you should go back to your doctor and say you are still having depression and anxiety symptoms to a degree that is impacting on your life. He or she should consider adjusting your medication - perhaps swapping it for a different one, or adding a different one. He or she might also consider referring you to a specialist for more in depth diagnosis and treatment.

It can take several weeks to taper off a med and taper up to the right dose of a new one, or if one is being added, for that to start working. Hang in there, keep in touch with us and keep asking for help. You can get through this. Hugs.
 

How long my have you been taking trazadone for ?
 
I have been on and off antidepressants for years. Many of the SSRIs didn't agree with me and I was put on 150ml Venlafaxine, an SNRI, and that was terrific. I used that for years, then I had a major side effect with them and tapered off, I was fine for many years and then the suicidal thoughts and self hate came back. I turned to drinking very heavily and lost a lot of friends because of it, that and because at the time I was undiagnosed and my diabetes was causing major mood swings - according to my doctor. I pretty much soldiered on until a couple of months ago when I finally explained everything that was going on in my head to my doctor, I explained the feelings and the bad thoughts and the extreme anxiety. Reading about my past history with SSRIs and Velafaxine he gave me Trazodone 150ml for my sleep and anxiety which I have been taking for the past 2 months, they are helping me sleep and through the day the do help, I know they help, but I still end up with a spiral of thoughts.
 
Sorry to hear about your journey, I have some idea what it's like as I have had several episodes over the years and tried many meds.

I'm glad the Trazadone isn't causing negative side effects for you. I'm not familiar with what the usual dosage range is, but if you tell your doctor you need more help, they might increase it or add another type of med and/or refer you for talk therapy or to a specialist psychiatrist. I have found talk therapy really helpful, in addition to medications.

I encourage you to ask about those blood tests at the same time, and hopefully you can be prescribed some vitamin D too. Hugs.
 
I do feel for you,I havent got depression I have had anxiety,which is the same family.
I do know a friends son who is suffering like you,and started drinking,which may give some relief for a very short time them you will feel worse.
Do you live alone do you have support?
For every black thought think of two good ons,Its easy to dig yourself in a hole.
I think they will be a forum for depression which may help you.
Just take care,a day at a time.
 

Hi there,

Awful your going through this. I totally relate when you talk about the spiralling thoughts.

I have suffered with chronic anxiety all my life and some years ago I was diagnosed with GAD (Generalised Anxiety Disorder) I worry about absolutely everything. I analyse every part of everything that is related to me in every kind of way. For me it is normally a matter of severity. It never seems to give any respite. I constantly have butterflies and when it is bad it can be totally debilitating.

Work throughout my life has always caused major issues for me and social occasions really are something else. A couple of weeks ago I had a day where I actually believed my heart would burst through my rib cage the anxiety was so bad.

I have been on antidepressants in the past, four years ago I attended CBT for three months which was amazing and I would strongly recommend this though recently it has got bad again and I have just started seeing a councillor.

However I do my best not to allow it to dictate to me and I fight it every single day. CBT taught me it's the irrational way I process my thoughts.

Believe me, your not crazy. People don't understand anxiety or depression. They think it's a case of "why can't he just pull himself together"

It really helps me to be able to talk about it to someone who knows. A fellow sufferer even more so than a Dr or councillor.

Use other professionals though, they have really helped me and they still do.

Do not isolate. No matter how much you may wish to lock yourself away don't. Get out and do things. Once your on your own it's just you and your thought process !

Your definitely not on your own ok and by the looks of it there are many on here that will relate to what your going through right now. I certainly do.

Don't give in to it !
 
I've been on most antidepressants over the last 20+ years, having to change which one when the current one becomes less effective. I am also on amitriptyline at night, which is used off-license for neuropathy and is a sedating antidepressant. All the advice is saying get out and do stuff cos staying in, doing nothing makes it worse.
 
I have been depressed for the last year or two but only got diagnosed this year. When boss found out, I have been punished ever since with the hope that I would quit. Company probably looks at me as a potential liability now...
 
Oh dear lord! You can have them for bullying as the boss (or whoever) is doing it is not only harassing you but posing a "hazard" as regards something which can affect your health safety and welfare at work if you're subjected to it. The mgrs have a Duty of Care to all employees so they Have to address this. Try contacting HR or the Union for help
 
If I had been severely depressed, my bosses constant negativity and criticism would have made anyone jump off a cliff. Thankfully I am not so bad and am now fighting my way out of it. It does go to show though how little bosses understand depression..
 
I have been suffering with Depression for the last 6 years since my Mother suddenly died. I was/had been her Carer for 9 years as she suffered with Alzheimers and Type 2 Diabetes. I am treated by my GP with just Antidepressant tablets = 70mg Lofepramine and I take 1 on a morning and 2 at night. I have had 2 courses of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, the first course (2014) was an hour a week for 6 weeks, and the second course (in 2015) was for an hour a week for 20 weeks. I have had a setback in the last couple of months and just do not want to go out - on my own. I can go out with other people that's not a problem.
 
I hope you're able to get some good help for it. At least know you're not alone.

I have been told I have depression and anxiety but both clinical psychs I saw previously claim that I'm not clinically depressed because I'm functioning fine. They say I'm depressed though and it's circumstantial as to why I'm depressed (eg. I'm depressed because of limitations illness has brought for me really). But when I look back on my life I've had a lot of bad stuff happen and I think I definitely have had bouts of depression. These days I'm quite isolated due to illnesses and outside of work I don't see that many people, if any. I don't mind saying that, I'm honest about what I go through.

I think most of the time I deal with numbness and shut my emotions down. I'm extremely tired a lot but I think that could be related to a number of things and not just depression as such. I can't really cry or laugh because that triggers spasms on me. I have to be very upset to cry and when I do I pay for it. So I just think it is best to shut out feelings a lot of the time. When I have the down feelings I try and distract myself. Unlike most I can't easily do counselling as talking is a problem for me. I tried to get counselling online but so far I have only managed to get those emergency counsellors who just ask are you ok, here's a link about depression, see you later. So I can't be bothered at the moment seeking any help with it.

I get the impression noone in my real life has a darn clue about what I deal with... not their fault as they don't have my lot in life. I think my faith helps me with my mental health, gives me hope anyhow. But I think depression is common for people with chronic illness. I think the biggest thing is acknowledging you need help and getting it if you're able to.
 
Best wishes to you @liam1955, @Mep and anyone else coping with depression. I know how bad it can be, having had it on and off for over 35 years. I am fairly stable at present, but I'm staying on the medication. I dread the next episode. They get more frequent as I get older, but at least now I recognise the onset and know that it will pass in time. I think it is worse than diabetes which in many ways is easier to deal with.
 
Hello @Prem51 - Thank You for the kind wishes. I like your Black Cat Avatar, I had 2 cats both from 6 week old kittens (brother & sister) the female was 16 years old when she went to sleep one day and never woke up and my male cat got really sick and had to be put to sleep - he was aged 19 years. I really do miss them both. And Yes I agree with you Depression is worse than Diabetes.
 
@liam1955 We had a black cat (Suky) when I was a child. I am definitely more of a cat person than a dog person, but can't keep any pets as I am in a first floor flat, and pets aren't allowed.
 
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