Hi Nick
I'm type 1 for 25 years now and have the same problem as your partner. I'm not sure that anything will help, but I think the best advice u have gotten on here is to talk to her about u hate watching her do it to herself n u know it causes her grief when u 'nag' her to do it, but that she gotta look at it from your point of view. Denial - it will not happen to me - is a great thing...until it does! It's not just the high bgs that harm, low bgs all the time harm too as does the constant fluctuations between both. I now have sensory nueropathy in feet which I didn't notice any signs of as I looked after my feet well but just woke up one morning n couldn't walk without help or holding onto something due to pain which feels a bit like having a blister which covers the sole of my feet, ur bones can be affected...I took 'trigger thumb' on both thumbs from strain on my carpal tunnel from mainly carrying too much shopping bags on my own, which I got fixed but now have severe arthritis in both hands and have to wear supports n keep my fingers/thumbs/wrists straight as much as possible otherwise I have to physically open them as they stick there n the pain is unbelievable, I have severe arthritis in both knees which just seemed to progress extremely quickly over a few months, I have progressive diabetic retinopathy, which is being monitored n can be fixed by laser treatment, but that means losing my peripheral vision which is the only way I can see when I take a hypo as I loss my direct sight, so I would then be blind when I take a hypo n if ur partner drives, she looses her D/L if she has to get the laser treatment as illegal to hold a D/L with no peripheral vision. I also have fibromyalgia, like M.E., n I have every symptom of it unfortunately while others maybe only have the tiredness or sore points. It can go hand in hand with diabetes too. I can no longer walk any distance even with meds for pain as I just get too tired, so had to get a wheelchair and I just have become a hermit n become sooo frustrated when I get my relatives to get shopping for me and they bring back the wrong stuff n I just wanna go myself, but can't! Tell her she has all this to look forward to.....sooner rather than later if she doesn't keep them a little normal at least! I know how she feels though.
I'm very close to my aunt n she was always on at me to check bg's, not eat certain sugary foods, do u realise ur killing urself, etc etc n it just ended in arguments all the time as my argument was that she had no idea what she was talking about n she didn't know how I felt or how it made me feel...however...she recently became type 2 herself n I gave her a meter n I got her to monitor her bg for a while. She was feeling sick on occasions n no matter what drs say that type 2 can't get ketones, I don't believe that as any normal person can have ketones if their diet consists of sugary food even if their bg is normal ( T1 can have ketones with a normal bg too - get ketodiastix on prescription), she was telling me her bg was normal but I told her to not kid a kidder. Turned out she was lying bout her bg, when she DID actually do it and was going to her friends house n eating pavlova, big carb chineses etc n told me that she would never nag me again about it as she realised how hard it was to deny urself things like that n that the bg testing was sore on the fingers. Luckily I don't enjoy sweet stuff like cakes or chocolate, but I am partial to things like starburst, jelly tots and lucozade. I have also blew up on drs before who give u the normal speech of looking after urself n they sent me to a psychologist to 'talk' about my feelings n why I didn't test my bg. I think I was lucky to get a girl around my age n I hardly talked the 1st session, but after that, it was easy n we just talked about everything and anything. I knew I should be doing my bg, but no1 could help me except myself n she put it down to low self esteem. Perhaps, but the last place that I displayed low self esteem was in my job, as I knew it inside out n backwards, yet work stress creeped in and started playing havoc with my diabetes bg too - at one stage I was totally off my quick acting insulin n only taking background for 6 months as my bg was dropping with stress (usually makes bg go up) n adding insulin would have killed me. I eventually went onto anti-depressants n have been on them for over 10 years now. I was also dismissed from my job due to sick, which I could have fought a bit better n it still annoys me now the way I was treated, but I was tired of the fighting n it was only elevating my diabetic problems, so I gave up fighting. The majority of people associate anti-depressants with 'mad' people, but I know it's not and it's only the 'happy' stem of my brain that has worn down n no longer works without the pills to help...just like pain tablets! Only tell her to consider down the line if nothing else is bringing her mood up. Walking helps n I got a kitten n a dog which elevated my spirits (when I could walk) n just knowing that they depended on me helped. She can also get a free 10 session gym membership with an instructor from her GP to help with low self esteem, but the only thing that I've EVER heard that pulls people out to test their bg more, is......getting pregnant as it's the someone depending on u issue that makes it happen. A new diabetic dr and new dietician joined the team at my hospital that I attended for diabetic care and they were also diabetics so that helped the cause of me blowing up that they didn't understand as they did n just weren't reading from books n knew that every diabetic is an individual where one diabetic might have high bg due to some instance whereas another might not be affected or have a low bg due to the same instance n I had more respect for their views or asking me to monitor more.
I have had dka many times n if I have had a gun, I would have just shot myself every time as it feels that bad. Your mouth is that dry (amongst other things) but they can't give u water incase u choke or makes u throw up again n they're not allowed to give u ice chips any more due to hygiene or something or other. I ask for vaseline now, but it's been well over 10 years now since I was admitted for dka as I was in the ICU last time n had a heart monitor....I didn't realise it took a strain on ur heart too, so any time I knew I was going a bit higher, I DID check my bg and gave my short acting as I never wanted to feel like that again AND I ALWAYS take my background insulin as if I do go a bit higher, then it's easier rectified if the background is there still working to help.
U didn't say what insulin she's on...short acting before each meal and a background or 2 long acting? I'm on short (humalog) before each meal n one long acting (lantus). This works better for me n gives me a bit more freedom n if I don't feel like eating, then I don't take the short acting insulin. Does she carb count to take short acting if she's on that? The D.A.P.H.N.E. course is xlnt for that, tho it might be called the BERTIE (I think) course in ur area. Check if she can get onto that. It's usually a 5 day course mon-fri n if she works, then they have to give her the time off to do it. Info online too n at least it would help her be able to guess her bg more even if she doesn't monitor that often...I still don't n go days/weeks without checking, but then my damage is done now....if I could turn back the clock...
Another trick I have found when carb counting is if u fancy a bun or slice of cake, then count the carbs u think is in it (perhaps a bit of trial n error) n give short acting insulin to counteract, but the sugar hit will go in n raise ur bg b4 the insulin starts working so u will go high n then low when the insulin kicks in, so vigorously rub where u just injected urself n this will make it work quicker, but be careful n don't let her try it while she's on her own incase she still goes hypo, trial n error as I said. I always keep on top of diabetic research, new findings etc....drs used to tell u that if u went higher in bg then take a walk or run or any exercise to lower it...then they realised that if u had ketones, which is poison, then the exercise makes it go through ur system quicker making u iller n dka, so better to rest, give some short acting insulin n drink plenty of water to flush it out n monitor ur bg n the ketones.
On any job she should be ticking the disabled box which I'm sure she probably doesn't want to, but it hopefully will keep her safe through the Disability Discrimination Act if she is off sick due to diabetes AND because diabetes makes every ailment worse, tell her to make sure that her GP states this on any sick line as then her sick record could be expunged with the DDA. Don't listen to any diabetic info from the USA as it's not good in my opinion and listen to Germany or Belgium as they know what they're taking about n wanna help reach a cure whereas the USA only seem to be interested in keeping every1 diabetic so the big pharma companies can get richer with all the care products, pills and insulin we need.
Free monitors can be got online...just do a search on google or from her Diabetic Liaison Nurse at the hospital she attends for diabetic care. Diabetic socks, gloves for arthritis and diabetic insoles which are fantastic are also available free on prescription.