Hi Kman, I haven't talked to you earlier but I think you are brave. Death will come to us all eventually.
My husband died four weeks ago. He had cancer so morphine and dolcontine and such pain medication worked, The last few days he was on a pump for pain as it was difficult for him to swallow tablets. He never lost his humour or his mischievousness though and I miss him terribly.
His illness was very short, only a couple of months and I know you have been dying for a couple of years now but what I want to say is that if the Pain Clinic you attended didn't help I'm sure you could ask for a pump, it was such a relief and pain management is so advanced now. Also anxiety medication, you can get that on a pump too if you are very ill. It helps a lot to control pain in you are calm, also helps if you are afraid of dying. My husband didn't want to die and leave me and I wanted him to stay but when illness strikes there isn't much you can do. At least you and your family are better prepared as your terminal illness has lasted for some time. My husband got the actual diagnosis two and a half week before he passed away.
Anyway, I have read a lot of your posts and I think you should insist on proper pain management. It can be had, you see.
Totto
You Sweet Angelic Beautiful Person,
4 weeks after your husband passed and you are Caring, Loving and Kind enough to offer advice to someone else, I am not at all sure I'd have your strength if my lovely wife Wendie had passed that recently,
You Dear Sweet Lady have me in streams of tears, and my Deepest Respect,
Firstly myself and Wendie want to offer our most Sincere Condolences, Love and great big Hugs from our Beautiful little puppy Pork Butt xxx.
You must be Devastated, how you manage to care about a stranger like me I don't know sweetie,
My pain is excrutiating and devastating, but the thing I have most trouble explaining here is I have the most wonderful teams looking after me, I attend 2 different Pain Clinics and have a Medical Psychologist heping just with coping with the Pain,
The difficult thing is that there is no way of getting away from this pain due to what is happening to the nerves in my body,
I am NOT unhappy with my care, or the pain relief efcorts from my team, They are wonderful and caring, and they explain anything and everything each step of the way,
Of course I'm not happy to still be in pain, but I do not at all believe or think It is in any way being neglected, I will talk to them about a Pump ! From what you have said it would be wonderful for me, and most of all for Wendie as I hate seeing her face when I am in such awful pain, it hurts her even more than Me xxx.
I Love You already as a Dear Friend, and I hope you will stay with me here on the thread for as long as you feel comfortable or able to considering how raw it must all still be for you sweetie xxx.
Please know our Prayers and Thoughts are with you, as I stated before you are nothing short of Angelic, Wendie says to tell you she also is a right mess with tears all down her face,
Thank You so very very much for being so very Brave, Kind, Caring and most of all Loving your Tenderness and Sweetness have driven deep into our heart's.
Love and Hugs Always Dear Lady,
Kevin Wendie Dayne, Delta and Pork Butt.
xxx xxx xxx.
@Totto