Sorry isn't enough. It sounds like you're having an absolutely rough time. Not easy trying to be strong and supportive when your efforts and those of Mrs H-C are thrown back. Peace and hugs your wayHi everyone, I hope you're all well. I've been absent from the forum for a while, and may be for some time to come (see below), but I've got to dump my woes on someone and you lucky people are it
Three weeks ago, my Mother-in-Law, of whom I was very fond, fell at home and was taken into hospital. The reason that she fell was because she had a chest infection which had changed very rapidly into pneumonia, not unknown at the age of 87 with some one who had suffered from lung problems for some years. The hospital did what they could, but she was very poorly and went slowly downhill. We knew that she had signed a "Do not resuscitate" form a couple of years ago and her carers respected this, allowing her to slip away gently with Mrs h-c beside her. Rather sudden, and very upsetting, but we had always known that this would be a likely outcome. My father-in-law was very upset: he was devoted to her and they had been together for almost 70 years. Unfortunately, he reacted badly: as Mrs h-c says, she can deal with him being teary and emotional but angry is a different kettle of fish, particularly when he takes his anger out on her. After the funeral he got drunk and said some unforgiveably vile and unjustified things to her. We took him back to his house in the hope that he would sober up and go to bed but he told us to leave him and wouldn't listen to reason.
The next morning, we went round to the house to pick him up for a pub lunch with his brother, who'd come over from Norn Iron for the funeral. There was no answer at the door, or on his mobile, which he always has with him but luckily we have a set of keys and let ourselves in, to find him lying on the floor upstairs, unable to move. We don't know - and he was unclear - about how long he'd been there but we suspect it might have been all night. We called out an ambulance and they diagnosed a broken hip and carted him off to hospital. They replaced his hip-joint, which all went well and we breathed a sigh of relief, knowing that we had some breathing space to try and sort stuff out. This morning, ten days after the operation, the Hospital rang to say that he was making good progress and that they'd be discharging him today. They have made absolutely no effort to speak to Mrs h-c or to assess his home circumstances (he has a three storey house, with the bedroom on the top floor, and no adapted facilities and has never had to manage on his own before). They agree that he needs a home care package but apparently it won't be in place until tomorrow at the earliest and they don't propose even to look at where he lives, to see what needs to be adapted. Mrs h-c has made it clear that if they discharge him before tomorrow, they will be on their own and must take responsibility for anything that happens - at the moment, we're waiting to see what they propose to do in response to this. I am torn between being sorry for my F-I-L and being absolutely furious with him for making a bad situation worse through his selfishness. From the conversation that Mrs h-c had with the hospital, it's clear that he has been telling them a pack of lies about how prepared things are at home and how much back-up we can give him, purely and simply so that he can get out of hospital asap. I have some sympathy with this, but it's all about him, and he has no consideration for Mrs h-c, who is committed to going to an event tonight that she has been looking forward to for weeks, as a small gleam of light in a thoroughly ****** time for her. I've told her that she must go, come what may.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggggggggggh!
Also, my mate Steve, who is terminally ill and who I have spoken of before, is slowly going downhill and probably only has a few weeks left. We went to see him at the weekend and he was having a good day, so we had a nice time with him but I fear there won't be many more such.Oh - and my one surviving and much-love aunt died about a month ago. Sometimes you just get a rubbish series of unfortunate events, don't you?
And breathe, and relax........................ keep well, everyone.
I"m sure about this. I've phoned het yesterday, she bought some flower to plant in memoriam. My dad also was a bit shocked about, but unfortunately when he is sad or angry decides to stop talking to everyone and trying to talk to him or worse trying to giving ihim a distracting chore to do doesn't work...You tried your best to help.....and I'm sure she appreciated the thought
Jay, I am so sorry to hear the sad news about your MIL and your aunt - I know you were fond of them both and I'm sending my condolences and big hugs to you and Mrs H-C. I'm sorry, too, that Steve is fading. This is a very sad and stressful time for you.Hi everyone, I hope you're all well. I've been absent from the forum for a while, and may be for some time to come (see below), but I've got to dump my woes on someone and you lucky people are it
Three weeks ago, my Mother-in-Law, of whom I was very fond, fell at home and was taken into hospital. The reason that she fell was because she had a chest infection which had changed very rapidly into pneumonia, not unknown at the age of 87 with some one who had suffered from lung problems for some years. The hospital did what they could, but she was very poorly and went slowly downhill. We knew that she had signed a "Do not resuscitate" form a couple of years ago and her carers respected this, allowing her to slip away gently with Mrs h-c beside her. Rather sudden, and very upsetting, but we had always known that this would be a likely outcome. My father-in-law was very upset: he was devoted to her and they had been together for almost 70 years. Unfortunately, he reacted badly: as Mrs h-c says, she can deal with him being teary and emotional but angry is a different kettle of fish, particularly when he takes his anger out on her. After the funeral he got drunk and said some unforgiveably vile and unjustified things to her. We took him back to his house in the hope that he would sober up and go to bed but he told us to leave him and wouldn't listen to reason.
The next morning, we went round to the house to pick him up for a pub lunch with his brother, who'd come over from Norn Iron for the funeral. There was no answer at the door, or on his mobile, which he always has with him but luckily we have a set of keys and let ourselves in, to find him lying on the floor upstairs, unable to move. We don't know - and he was unclear - about how long he'd been there but we suspect it might have been all night. We called out an ambulance and they diagnosed a broken hip and carted him off to hospital. They replaced his hip-joint, which all went well and we breathed a sigh of relief, knowing that we had some breathing space to try and sort stuff out. This morning, ten days after the operation, the Hospital rang to say that he was making good progress and that they'd be discharging him today. They have made absolutely no effort to speak to Mrs h-c or to assess his home circumstances (he has a three storey house, with the bedroom on the top floor, and no adapted facilities and has never had to manage on his own before). They agree that he needs a home care package but apparently it won't be in place until tomorrow at the earliest and they don't propose even to look at where he lives, to see what needs to be adapted. Mrs h-c has made it clear that if they discharge him before tomorrow, they will be on their own and must take responsibility for anything that happens - at the moment, we're waiting to see what they propose to do in response to this. I am torn between being sorry for my F-I-L and being absolutely furious with him for making a bad situation worse through his selfishness. From the conversation that Mrs h-c had with the hospital, it's clear that he has been telling them a pack of lies about how prepared things are at home and how much back-up we can give him, purely and simply so that he can get out of hospital asap. I have some sympathy with this, but it's all about him, and he has no consideration for Mrs h-c, who is committed to going to an event tonight that she has been looking forward to for weeks, as a small gleam of light in a thoroughly ****** time for her. I've told her that she must go, come what may.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggggggggggh!
Also, my mate Steve, who is terminally ill and who I have spoken of before, is slowly going downhill and probably only has a few weeks left. We went to see him at the weekend and he was having a good day, so we had a nice time with him but I fear there won't be many more such.Oh - and my one surviving and much-love aunt died about a month ago. Sometimes you just get a rubbish series of unfortunate events, don't you?
And breathe, and relax........................ keep well, everyone.
I feel for you, hun, and I strongly recommend that you make a pest of yourself with the OT. The sad fact, though, is that once they've hoiked him out it's very difficult to get him back in again if he can't cope at home...Thanks Debra. Latest news is that he's staying in hospital tonight, because of a minor problem, unrelated to his hip joint, but will probably be discharged tomorrow. In the mean time, we finally managed to speak to an occupational therapist and to one of the doctors treating him, which has at least answered some of our questions and we now have a better idea of the situation, though I won't pretend that it's ideal - because it ain't. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.................
Anyway, enough whingeing from me
On Friday, I went to the dentist. I'd received a text asking me to make an appointment, as I was due a check up. I only had to wait a few days for my appointment, which is unusual.
I gave my name to reception and was asked to sign an I pad in two places, then was told to have a seat in reception. After 5 minutes, a nurse called me and said I wasn't due an appointment for another month. I asked why I was sent the text and was told it was a new system, sorry etc, etc. I thought I would be given an appointment for next month but was told to wait for the next text.
Aaaaaaaarghhhhhhhhhhhhh!!
On Tuesday, I had an appointment at the diabetes centre. This had been changed from Wednesday 24/5/2017 to Tuesday 25/4/2017.
I thought this was strange but had been told, ages ago, that they would hold a new clinic when a new insulin pump specialist nurse had been appointed, so this must be the reason.
I was weighed, had HbA1c done and then a young lady called my name. I thought this must be the new young consultant I'd heard about but no, she introduced herself and said she was a GP who helped out at the clinic. I asked if this meant my consultant wasn't there. She told me he doesn't do the Tuesday clinic. Hmmmm.
She asked if there was anything I wanted to ask my consultant, that she could help with, so I asked the first question. She said, "Oh, I don't deal with the insulin pump . . ."
She told me to ask reception for a 6 month appointment on a Wednesday, but she would leave a message for my consultant's secretary, asking for a quicker appointment.
I went to reception and they tried twice to print out my appointment. I was asked if they could just post it out to me, as it wasn't printing out.
Aaaaaargggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!
Yesterday, I went out for lunch with a friend. I asked for gluten free bacon and egg. I've had it before it just means no toast, and cooked in a clean pan. The waitress came back and said they don't do gluten free and couldn't guarantee it. I pointed to the GF page in the menu and said, "If this is GF then all you need for GF bacon and egg, is a clean pan."
An older waitress came up and said they DID have a clean pan but couldn't guarantee the oil was GF. Eventually they must have used a clean pan and fresh oil because I did get my lunch!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh!
My blood pressure must be sky high. I'm just waiting for the next thing. I know they come in threes but, you never know!
Hi everyone, I hope you're all well. I've been absent from the forum for a while, and may be for some time to come (see below), but I've got to dump my woes on someone and you lucky people are it
Three weeks ago, my Mother-in-Law, of whom I was very fond, fell at home and was taken into hospital. The reason that she fell was because she had a chest infection which had changed very rapidly into pneumonia, not unknown at the age of 87 with some one who had suffered from lung problems for some years. The hospital did what they could, but she was very poorly and went slowly downhill. We knew that she had signed a "Do not resuscitate" form a couple of years ago and her carers respected this, allowing her to slip away gently with Mrs h-c beside her. Rather sudden, and very upsetting, but we had always known that this would be a likely outcome. My father-in-law was very upset: he was devoted to her and they had been together for almost 70 years. Unfortunately, he reacted badly: as Mrs h-c says, she can deal with him being teary and emotional but angry is a different kettle of fish, particularly when he takes his anger out on her. After the funeral he got drunk and said some unforgiveably vile and unjustified things to her. We took him back to his house in the hope that he would sober up and go to bed but he told us to leave him and wouldn't listen to reason.
The next morning, we went round to the house to pick him up for a pub lunch with his brother, who'd come over from Norn Iron for the funeral. There was no answer at the door, or on his mobile, which he always has with him but luckily we have a set of keys and let ourselves in, to find him lying on the floor upstairs, unable to move. We don't know - and he was unclear - about how long he'd been there but we suspect it might have been all night. We called out an ambulance and they diagnosed a broken hip and carted him off to hospital. They replaced his hip-joint, which all went well and we breathed a sigh of relief, knowing that we had some breathing space to try and sort stuff out. This morning, ten days after the operation, the Hospital rang to say that he was making good progress and that they'd be discharging him today. They have made absolutely no effort to speak to Mrs h-c or to assess his home circumstances (he has a three storey house, with the bedroom on the top floor, and no adapted facilities and has never had to manage on his own before). They agree that he needs a home care package but apparently it won't be in place until tomorrow at the earliest and they don't propose even to look at where he lives, to see what needs to be adapted. Mrs h-c has made it clear that if they discharge him before tomorrow, they will be on their own and must take responsibility for anything that happens - at the moment, we're waiting to see what they propose to do in response to this. I am torn between being sorry for my F-I-L and being absolutely furious with him for making a bad situation worse through his selfishness. From the conversation that Mrs h-c had with the hospital, it's clear that he has been telling them a pack of lies about how prepared things are at home and how much back-up we can give him, purely and simply so that he can get out of hospital asap. I have some sympathy with this, but it's all about him, and he has no consideration for Mrs h-c, who is committed to going to an event tonight that she has been looking forward to for weeks, as a small gleam of light in a thoroughly ****** time for her. I've told her that she must go, come what may.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggggggggggh!
Also, my mate Steve, who is terminally ill and who I have spoken of before, is slowly going downhill and probably only has a few weeks left. We went to see him at the weekend and he was having a good day, so we had a nice time with him but I fear there won't be many more such.Oh - and my one surviving and much-love aunt died about a month ago. Sometimes you just get a rubbish series of unfortunate events, don't you?
And breathe, and relax........................ keep well, everyone.
We had to replace ours and decided upon a combi. It's been brilliant (6 years on) but you're right about biting the bullet. Very painful experience!Noticed on Saturday there's a leak from the hot water tank (well had that confirmed Tuesday) Got the quote to replace tank. Eeeeek! Now we have to decide if it's time to bite the bullet & replace the boiler for a combi & do away with tank. Anyone got a sure bet for the 3.30 at Kempton?
May I suggest, if you can use the roof to go solar? A friend of mine bought an old house with the heating system FUBAR. Had to teplace the pipes into walls, so he decide to install a solar + chipped wood system and a buffer tank. On top of this added a single-room control system, so every room has its own temperature sensor and different settings.Noticed on Saturday there's a leak from the hot water tank (well had that confirmed Tuesday) Got the quote to replace tank. Eeeeek! Now we have to decide if it's time to bite the bullet & replace the boiler for a combi & do away with tank. Anyone got a sure bet for the 3.30 at Kempton?
May I suggest, if you can use the roof to go solar? A friend of mine bought an old house with the heating system FUBAR. Had to teplace the pipes into walls, so he decide to install a solar + chipped wood system and a buffer tank. On top of this added a single-room control system, so every room has its own temperature sensor and different settings.
The wood powered heater was used only on some snowy days, when snow covered the panels.
We had to replace ours and decided upon a combi. It's been brilliant (6 years on) but you're right about biting the bullet. Very painful experience!
This week, or next?Nearly as painful as a tattoo (Tuesday)
NextThis week, or next?
Have you decided what you're having? (Love your cat and crescent moon, BTW,)Next
I wish I could give more than just big hugs....Hi everyone, I hope you're all well. I've been absent from the forum for a while, and may be for some time to come (see below), but I've got to dump my woes on someone and you lucky people are it
Three weeks ago, my Mother-in-Law, of whom I was very fond, fell at home and was taken into hospital. The reason that she fell was because she had a chest infection which had changed very rapidly into pneumonia, not unknown at the age of 87 with some one who had suffered from lung problems for some years. The hospital did what they could, but she was very poorly and went slowly downhill. We knew that she had signed a "Do not resuscitate" form a couple of years ago and her carers respected this, allowing her to slip away gently with Mrs h-c beside her. Rather sudden, and very upsetting, but we had always known that this would be a likely outcome. My father-in-law was very upset: he was devoted to her and they had been together for almost 70 years. Unfortunately, he reacted badly: as Mrs h-c says, she can deal with him being teary and emotional but angry is a different kettle of fish, particularly when he takes his anger out on her. After the funeral he got drunk and said some unforgiveably vile and unjustified things to her. We took him back to his house in the hope that he would sober up and go to bed but he told us to leave him and wouldn't listen to reason.
The next morning, we went round to the house to pick him up for a pub lunch with his brother, who'd come over from Norn Iron for the funeral. There was no answer at the door, or on his mobile, which he always has with him but luckily we have a set of keys and let ourselves in, to find him lying on the floor upstairs, unable to move. We don't know - and he was unclear - about how long he'd been there but we suspect it might have been all night. We called out an ambulance and they diagnosed a broken hip and carted him off to hospital. They replaced his hip-joint, which all went well and we breathed a sigh of relief, knowing that we had some breathing space to try and sort stuff out. This morning, ten days after the operation, the Hospital rang to say that he was making good progress and that they'd be discharging him today. They have made absolutely no effort to speak to Mrs h-c or to assess his home circumstances (he has a three storey house, with the bedroom on the top floor, and no adapted facilities and has never had to manage on his own before). They agree that he needs a home care package but apparently it won't be in place until tomorrow at the earliest and they don't propose even to look at where he lives, to see what needs to be adapted. Mrs h-c has made it clear that if they discharge him before tomorrow, they will be on their own and must take responsibility for anything that happens - at the moment, we're waiting to see what they propose to do in response to this. I am torn between being sorry for my F-I-L and being absolutely furious with him for making a bad situation worse through his selfishness. From the conversation that Mrs h-c had with the hospital, it's clear that he has been telling them a pack of lies about how prepared things are at home and how much back-up we can give him, purely and simply so that he can get out of hospital asap. I have some sympathy with this, but it's all about him, and he has no consideration for Mrs h-c, who is committed to going to an event tonight that she has been looking forward to for weeks, as a small gleam of light in a thoroughly ****** time for her. I've told her that she must go, come what may.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggggggggggh!
Also, my mate Steve, who is terminally ill and who I have spoken of before, is slowly going downhill and probably only has a few weeks left. We went to see him at the weekend and he was having a good day, so we had a nice time with him but I fear there won't be many more such.Oh - and my one surviving and much-love aunt died about a month ago. Sometimes you just get a rubbish series of unfortunate events, don't you?
And breathe, and relax........................ keep well, everyone.
I'd hardly say you were whinging JHC.....Thanks Debra. Latest news is that he's staying in hospital tonight, because of a minor problem, unrelated to his hip joint, but will probably be discharged tomorrow. In the mean time, we finally managed to speak to an occupational therapist and to one of the doctors treating him, which has at least answered some of our questions and we now have a better idea of the situation, though I won't pretend that it's ideal - because it ain't. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.................
Anyway, enough whingeing from me
How's things, Jay? Did your FIL get discharged and how is it working out? I hope it's not stressing you both out any more than you are already (although I suspect that may be a vain hope). Thinking about you and Mrs H-C and sending big virtual hugs. xxThanks Debra. Latest news is that he's staying in hospital tonight, because of a minor problem, unrelated to his hip joint, but will probably be discharged tomorrow. In the mean time, we finally managed to speak to an occupational therapist and to one of the doctors treating him, which has at least answered some of our questions and we now have a better idea of the situation, though I won't pretend that it's ideal - because it ain't. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.................
Anyway, enough whingeing from me
Sounds like a hug and a winner all in onewell now we decided even though the cottage was up for sale to replace the roof that wa slast year we dicided this and hey ho thye came on Tuesday and put the scafolding up and stirpped the roof over the next two days Friday they added new wood and tiles the small roof still waiting for two other roofs to be tiled , we wentt o take the dog for a run yesterday and estate agents rang saying soem oen wnats to look at the house grrrrrrrr so next week will have to spend the week cleaning as dust seems to be everywhere arghhhhhhhhhhh
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