Today's Resolution.

Hello my friends,

So it's 7.45 on Monday morning here, pitch black at the moment and raining....again. I got up just now and thought okay, I haven't had such a great time with my low carb life style lately and it's an odd thing but when that particular part of my life goes wrong everything seems wrong. I don't feel great about myself at all so today I woke up actually thinking right today I will do this! Odd isn't it how our brains seem to take over at night? I seem to have decided to do the right thing in my sleep!

Anyhow, today's resolution is: Go The Extra Yard. And yep, I do think that the capital letters are justified. See, I am a kind of 'oh that's fine, don't worry about it' person and yes, that's alright mostly but it does get out of control sometimes especially when it comes to stuff that I really ought to finish off. Take yesterday for instance, I did a load of washing, got most of it out onto the line under the deck but when Johnny said, come play a game of Triv I thought hah right a chance to beat the pants off him instead of saying, I will just get this last load of washing out first. See what I mean? That for me would have been going that extra yard. For you maybe not And I know, I know, it sounds trivial really but that's me, that's my life and it applies to everything. I get almost to the end, I can see the tape at the end of the race and I'm be the kind of person who would sit down on the side of the road and have a drink saying well, I almost did it. Hopeless huh? I can easily say well I can get that done tomorrow can't I? And yes, for the most part I can but why on earth don't I just finish it off..whatever it is? It makes me a great easy going person to live with but sometimes I kinda have the feeling that it's not quite the right thing to do.

I realise now that I have done this all my life, almost got there and I just stopped. I have never thought of it as giving up, I really haven't but I suppose that's what it is. So for today at least I will go that extra yard and finish off! I will make a lovely dinner and take the trouble to add that extra ingredient instead of shrugging and saying it's great as it is. I have started already too. I lit the fire, brought the wood in and got the dead mouse out from under the table BEFORE I made the coffee....now THAT was heroic! Not the mouse bit but the coffee bit, at least it was only a wee mousie today, it was a huge tree rat yesterday. At least the cats finish things off!

Wish me luck my friends, this is going to be a tuff one

xxx

Kat100 said:

Hi popsy

The yard stick , put it back in the cupboard because I think you are just being a bit hard on yourself .....
You have done really well with everything , but we all know that sometimes things don't go as we want them to....
Very very frustrating .....
These things are just out of our control , and when we don't have that natural control over things we can't manage then it's natural to feel like we have failed ....but rest assured this is not being a failure , it is about bring a human being .....and we are not super human .....well not all of the time....!!!
What I think is needed is a very large pat on the back for all that you have achieved ..... Big smile there because we are never good and telling ourselves that we achieve good things ......((( hug and large pat on back )))

What ever your goals are you will do what is right for you, because you are popsy our friend .....and you can do whatever you want ....
Positive popsy is what we know you for , and won't have it any other way ....so make the dinner, sounds like it's going to be a tasty one ! Yum ...
And try and leave a little of something to achieve tomorrow .....we all need a bit of a challenge to keep us going ...
And as they say Rome was'nt built in a day !!!!
Enjoy this day and every day and all that you achieve and do in your days .....
You will get all that you want to done ........
Be happy and keep winning those games, the days will sort themselves out ......along with a bit of help,from you and your friends ....

Take care , best wishes ....Kat

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Aww, thanks Kat my friend I have to say it's so good to know there are people out there who aren't as hard on us as we can be on ourselves sometimes, but this is honestly something I have done all my life and I have a sneaking suspicion that it's contributed to to where I am now. One more biscuit does make a difference and maybe stopping before that 'one more' might have helped. Oddly enough I don't feel upset about all this, it's freeing in a way and it's odd that it's taken so long to realise what on earth I have been up to!

That doesn't mean I will EVER refuse a big hug from anyone especially those who care about me so thanks guys (A cat for Kat )

zand said:

How's it going Popsy? I have had a morning where I started thinking about others again.....I had almost missed 2 birthdays and I forgot to water next door's tomato plants - I usually do their stuff before my own but I have become extremely selfish over the last 2 months, I'd like to call it focussed, but well I've been 'difficult' I don't want to change back to being the doormat I used to be, but I do want to be a bit nicer again. It's so hard to find that middle ground, I bet you are doing much better than me, so any tips would be welcome! I spoke to my best friend today and she said 'Good to have you back again' , so I even let her down for a while.

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Well zand love, I did okay with my resolution really but any change can be difficult and it's not something that will come right all at once. After all, I am 62 and have probably been the same for most of my life for whatever reasons. I will keep the good thoughts at the front of my mind and as @Kat100 says I will think about the good stuff I have achieved most of which I attribute to being here, reading and thinking about stuff I have read here and actually putting into practice stuff I have read here! So onward and upward!

Any change can be difficult on those around us though can't it? How often have we read about partners who leave the relationship because the other has lost a massive amount of weight? It's not uncommon but to grow ourselves we must change, what choice do we have? Everything you have done you have had to do so you could achieve the things you wanted to achieve. I firmly believe that change doesn't come without casualties whether big or small and my friend, although you will never be a doormat again, I see no reason why you can't have some of nicer bits back...if they ever really left Your friend must be a good friend indeed who didn't abandon you when you no longer fulfilled the role she was used to and I am positive that you didn't really let her down...just kinda left for a bit . You just need to find out which zand needs to stand up and I know you will do it because you have grown so much there is room to let a bit of the old you back in. Now the genie is out of the bottle, you can't put it back and you will go on from strength to strength and maybe find new friends too who only know the you you are now

Go us!! xxx

zand said:

Thanks for all of that Popsy. I have just realised something....I said 'I want to be nicer'....not 'I want to be liked'. Thank you, I have changed a lot.

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I get the feeling that that is a pretty huge revelation for you Self realisation is a magnificent thing isn't it...well, it is if you realise you have achieved something worthwhile, I suppose it's not if you realise you are a kleptomaniac or something not so great!

You will find your own level I know..