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type1. A loss of confidence

JenniferAnne2016

Member
Messages
6
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Insulin
Hi all,

I am 31 and was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes three months ago. My Mum is type 1 so I understood what this meant medically. I felt more luckier than most who are diagnosed because my mum has such a wealth of knowledge and she has been a great help.

However, what I didn't expect was this huge lack of confidence that has happened. I was a happy, confident, athletic person. Now I am scared about going out. Worried about even going out for a walk. I panic that I won't recognise the symptoms of a hypos. It takes me so long to leave the house because I obsessively check I have everything that I might need. This is a far cry from the spontaneous person I was 4 months ago. I know that this is unreasonable but I have lost all confidence in my body. I am angry at my own body for causing this.

Ten years ago my diabetic aunt took her insulin after a few wines, expecting to eat. She did however fall asleep and after months in a diabetic coma eventually died from pneumonia. She was a remarkable woman, a gp infact but not brilliant at managing her diabetes. I know that this is rare and completely avoidable but I can't help obsessively thinking about it.

I was just wondering if anyone else had these feelings when they were diagnosed. Do these feelings go away? I really want to just get on with things. I am managing the blood sugar levels quite well but I am surprised by how badly I am managing my emotions.
 
It's pretty normal to lose spontinaiety as a type 1 diabetic. You do have to plan a bit more than you did before, you've gotta test, you've gotta take stuff with you. It might be weighing heavily on you because it's all pretty new. It won't be long until you won't have to think about it, it'll just be like putting on your shoes and picking up your keys.

Being angry at your body is a pretty reasonable reaction. What's that meme? I'm so alpha my immune system killed off my beta cells? Stupid immune system. Stupid body. And it does take a while to regain confidence in your body once it's done this to you. But test it and you will regain confidence. I like to push myself hard exercising, just as a way to prove to myself that for all the stuff my body can't do, there are things it will do fine.

Things that might help with the confidence might include the freestyle libre, there's an online hypo awareness course - http://www.diabetes.co.uk/newsletter/19-02-2015/ . There's no reason to think you won't recognise the signs of a low and even if you do what's the worst that can happen, you have to eat some sugar. It's not really the worst thing in the world.

If your struggling with emotions you could ask your DSN if the offer any psych support. You might benefit from seeing a health psychologist. You're essentially grieving for healthy you and having to adjust to living with a chronic condition. It's ok to be struggling with it, but emotions are manageable too.
 

Being diagnosed with type 1 is life-changing and can hit us both physically and mentally, but like a lot of things in life time is a great healer and the confidence should return, if it doesn't then you should seek support from your diabetes team or gp who will provide support and advice.

A few months ago we had a thread running about what people miss most about their life before diabetes, like you I miss the spontaneity and the pre-planning involved in going out can be a pain, but that said it keeps us safe and knowing that you've taken the necessary precautions is reassuring so keep doing what your doing @JenniferAnne2016


That is so awful, it is rare given the amount of people who live with diabetes, so try not to worry too much.
 
I was diagnosed type 1 at age 30, so similar age to you. No-one else in my family was diabetic. I already had a 2 year old daughter, and within a month of diagnosis, I was expecting my son. So my emotions at becoming diabetic were pushed to the 'pending tray' : I would think about it when I had time - which never happened. This was good in some ways, but bad in others: I adopted the view that I would cope, whatever. I wasn't going to let diabetes harm my children or upset my parents or husband. The trouble with this was that I didn't really find the time I needed to learn enough about diabetes and I buried my emotions. I didn't properly look after my own self.
So although I can see that your loss of confidence is a bit of a problem at the moment, I think it also shows that you are dealing properly with the adjustment you feel you need to make in your life for a condition that does demand quite a lot of attention - and this will stand you in good stead. You are managing your blood sugar well but you are surprised by your emotions. There is a little bit of a grieving period for some of us when we get a diagnosis of diabetes - I put my head in the sand, but you are facing up to that sense of loss and will come to terms with it all the sooner.
 
 
Thank you all for your responses. Christmas is over and I am feeling a little better. I have signed up for some counseling and after many years of thinking about it, I will be training to be a yoga teacher in the summer months. So, lots of things to look forward to.

It is nice to hear from so many of you who manage diabetes so well. I only know two others and as I said earlier one of them didn't. It is good to know that there is a community out there who listen and understand. Thanks for taking the time to send your encouraging and helpful comments! Here's to 2017; may it not be as **** as 2016.
 
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