Type1 trying to conceieve for 5 years

I'm an old man who knows nothing of what you are going through. I just didn't want you to bare your soul and have no-one answer you. So Hi.

Don't think I'm as old as Squire Fulwood but am a man but I do know a bit of what your are going through. Although my wife isn't diabetic (I am) we went through hell trying to conceive, various IVF and other fertility treatments all with varying degrees of success and ultimate failures for what seemed like for centuries. So failure to conceive is not just down to your diabetes - T0s fail more than is usually banded around/generally mentioned. And you have a better life style than most by the sounds of it and certainly amazingly good control - so well done!

That dark place you mention, we've been there and done that during our IVF years - you enter as a couple but that rollercoaster takes its toll and before you know it one partner is sat at the front and the other retreating to the back seat, also the pressure and stress involved has an adverse affect - just like if you stress over high blood glucose results they go even higher! You can't force your self to be pregnant - after five years god knows how many times you've tried! Unlike you, my wifes clock was certainly ticking nearer and nearer to the alarm, it was getting desperate - after the last failed attempt we allowed ourselves time, time to think and ponder the future with out children and to also get our lives back on track, we stopped the rollercoaster, enjoyed the peace and quiet of the tranquil picnic area, and were considering leaving the amusement park behind us - it was that that was the dark place and all that went on in there. Like a pair of silly old timers, well we had nothing to loose, we once more joined the fast-track queue for another ride. Except when we got to the turn style we didn't need too!

You can afford to take time, give yourself a break - from it all now and again, completely - you just never know what might happen in the mean time. Take time to be yourself and not some pin cushion or some odd brushless electric toothbrush type device holder (only those that know will know what I'm on about!)!

All the very best.

Wishing you strength and brighter days. Trying to conceive is so stressful and type 1 adds to this majorly.

@Soapsuds86 So sorry to hear what you've been through. IVF is certainly the rollercoaster that everyone describes it as. I have been through it as well 3 times. In 2015 I was told that I had only a low egg reserve left and we had a male factor as well and chances were that we needed donor eggs. After a few tests we were given the okay to just try with our own eggs and we got a BFP after our first cycle - I couldn't believe it!!! It was the most amazing feeling ever - unfortunately I lost that baby a few weeks later and had to have medical management after a month :-(. The next cycle failed as I wasn't in a good state. After that we took a break like our consultant recommended which at the time I didn't understand and didn't want but it was the right thing to do. After a few months in which we got two baby cats which brightened my mood massively and a few weekend trips and other nice things we did as a couple we went again and were thankfully successful. I know where this dark place is and what it looks like (I had to have counselling in between as well before we got referred for IVF). Do you think a break would be possible for you? I know you see the clock ticking (I was the same) but it can be good to take a time out. Are you unexplained? Try and not give up hope - it can still happen. Take a little break with your OH and do some fun things. If you want to message me feel free to drop me a message...I have everything crossed for you! xxx