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Where is the hope?

L

loudsally

Member
Messages
10
Location
Side, Antalya, Turkey
Hi,
I am 32 and suffer from terrible rage. I have a three year old son who unfortunately bears the brunt of it. It got so bad a couple of months back that I had to send him to live with his father.
My type 1 is not under control I don't think, I haven't tested my blood for a couple of years so I really have no idea.
I am alone most of the time, I don't have any friends or family who like me because this disease has turned me into a terrible person. I have lost everyone. I feel like I'm just waiting to die now, I can't be bothered with it as I don't really see the point. My life is awful and the sooner I'm out of it the better.
Can anyone give me some hope please...I'm just at the end of my tether.
 
Hi, Loudsally

Your out of control with diabetes type1 seems to be something that should be sorted out straight away.
Lots of help will soon come from this forum.
You will soon find out your not the only one that goes through this hell.
Your son needs his mum as she should be and those lovely animals also need for you to be happy.
( I bet you do not show rage to your animals as you probably think they do not deserve it or understand ,if you know what I mean).
Have you consulted your GP regarding these issues,you may require some medication to help you get through this.

I wish you all the help you need and please get back on track for your own sake.Your son has so much to gain with a happy mum.
Actually my daughter sounds like you (same age). Me being a stupid dad, puts her rage etc; down to pmt.(point being people don't understand but they do in their own stupid way)


good luck,

Roy,
 
Your baby HAS TO come first!
for his sake you need to get your diabetes under control. there are plenty of young women around in similar circumstances to you. contact the Diabetes Uk careline. 0845 120 2960 in normal office hours. they may well know of a support group in your area. Having friends would help I'm sure. Good Luck!
Hana
 
Hi

I think I would urge you to try and get yourself back to the UK and then you'll be able to see a D consultant and DSN and get yourself on the right road again.

Another option for you is to chat to forum members through Skype. Although most of us are all diabetic, we also have other problems as well that we have to contend with. A problem shared is a problem aired. Nothing like having a good natter over the phone or Skype.
 


Sally there is always hope. Just think of your wonderful little boy and how proud you will be seeing him in his school uniform for the first time, when he can write his name, tie up his shoe laces all by himself.

You must go and see your doctor put your cards on the table and tell your GP everything, wrtas and all. You must really try to get your diabetes under control. I'm sure that would not just benefit your wellbeing but also your son's.

I'm sure you are a wonderful person and mother, who deep down loves her little boy so much, sometimes a big black cloud overhangs us and its hard to see the light, but it is there, honestly. Don't be too hard on yourself,I'm sure there are others who have been through similar experiences and have turned their lives around to a more positive and hopefull one. Can I leave you with this quote :- " No one can go back and make a new start. Anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending"

Take care with my very best wishes RRB ps I too am on my own but with an older child
 
A good idea might be to exercise more, giving the need to test bgs regulary and also release endomorphins. I'm sure it will be ok. Good luck x
 
Tony...I excercise a lot, I live in the countryside and have dogs so I'm forever walking.

And to answer everyone generally, I have no chance to get treatment in the UK as I am no longer a citizen and have no NHS rights at all. I would need to live there 90 days before I could even apply to register for a GP, then I would have to wait weeks for an appointment then I would have to wait months for check up appointments. My son is Turkish and would not be able to come with me (due to the hassle and expense of getting a visa) and there is no way ı could leave him and all my animals for 6 months or more...Plus where would I stay? I have no family or home in the UK.

I am stuck here in Turkey where even doctors do not understand type 1 diabetes.
For example, when I was pregnant I went to see a "diabetic specialist". H was indeed very special as he tested my sugars found them to be normal and promptly recommend that I stop taking my insulin during the pregnancy as my sugars were normal and my diabetes must have "gone away"!!!!!
99% of diabetics here are type 2 and as you all know the two diseases are like chalk and cheese in a lot of ways.

The reason I don't test my BG is cost. A pot of 50 strips costs 20 quid and I just cant afford that every week on top of the sky high insulin and needle prices.

I do eat well most of the time, the real Mediterannean diet, but when I'm depressed I tend to eat too much...Not bad stuff necessarily but too much.

Atlas (my son) is living with me again most of the time but I just don't trust myself as my anger threshold is still unbelievably low. Also, when I gave up and sent him to his dad because I just couldn't cope it was only a few weeks before he was calling me saying HE couldn't cope and I needed to have Atlas back again. I wish I had the opportunity to just take a break because stress really affects me badly.

I had Atlas three years ago and his father was not good for the first 18 months or so. By the time he stared helping out and that stress was reduces Atlas was running around, wreaking havoc, so that stress was on the up! I feel like I haven't had time to breathe since Atlas was born. I feel like I'm just about surviving but I don't want to live like that.
 
Hi Again, Loudsally

I know this is still expensive, but the ones that I use.= Codefree Blood Glucose Monitor/Monitoring Test/Testing Kit+Strips+Lancets+Case - in mmol/L. This kit is about £13 50p but the strips are really cheap. I am afraid you will have to pay for postage.(100 test strips about £13.00p) All from Amazon.

You should have some kind of control.

There also might be something in your diet that is also making you suffer.

Atlas is such a great name.

Hope all works out for you.

Roy.
 
Please don’t beat yourself up. Reading all your posts since you joined this forum, I see you have been through a lot of change in the last few years, and that’s a lot to cope with, without the diabetes to control.

As for testing your blood, try not to stress about it. The older members of this forum, like me, were diabetic for decades before blood testing was invented. Times have moved on, but I bet you can still do a pretty good job without blood results, just by keeping an eye on how you are feeling, like we used to.

You’ve been a member of this forum longer than I have. You know that most of us here are based in the UK, with reasonable access to strips and doctors. But our posts show we still struggle. Not knowing what to do based on our results, and thinking our doctors aren’t listening. You might not believe me if I say I am slightly envious of your freedom to manage your diabetes on your own. You are the expert on your health, just trust yourself.

You will get through this, and I wish you luck.
 

Right, high blood sugars can do funny things when it comes to anger/fuse/aggression. First of all, you MUST regain control, not only for you, but for your son. Test your blood, take your Insulin, count carbs and bolus accordingly.

Once you've done that and established a good relationship with your son you need to look at other aspects of your life, e.g. social life. A social life is crucial, we don't realise it but when everything falls apart a good friend or two is all you need to get through.

And beyond that, start chasing dreams, leave the negativity behind.

Diabetes need not be put on a pedestal, simply test your blood and take you Insulin, in time you won't even notice the fact that you're a diabetic. Life could be a lot worse than being a 'diabetic'.

Please don't take my post the wrong way, it may seem like I lack sympathy for you, but that's not the case, too often people seem to revolve their life around diabetes, why focus on a negative aspect of life? Accept it for what it is, you have the power to control the 'disease' thanks to your Insulin!

Stay strong, stay positive and FIX your life.
 

The same blood glucose and test strips are sold on eBay by the same seller at £4.99 for 50. The postage costs are very reasonable so you could purchase some. You might also be able to purchase from the manufacturer as I think they are based in Korea.
 
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