Why doesn't my OH understand?!

May I ask what is your BS readings.

I was first diagnosed just a couple of months back. I remember very well at that time I know nothing about diabetics, I snapped, became very depressed, lost and actually felt the whole world came crushing down on me. The next thing I did was start taking my "No Sugar" very seriously and I was not a very pleasant person to be with at that time, snappy and angry at little things, worrying about all the complications.

However, I am lucky that my doc was very understanding and he too have also advise me not to be too strict on myself. With his help and the informations I have obtained from this forum, I have since be able to eat normally, just less carb and foods with high sugar content.

Check out this forum and the discussions among fellow members, you will be able to understand diabetics better, the foods and their impacts, blood sugar readings. As per the food intake, I suggest that you with the help of the meter, do food trials and errors to check what food is suitable and what does not have a great impact to your BS. Like many fellow members have written, "Eat according to your meter".

Cheers.

Show him a list of complications of uncontrollable diabetes, there as some pretty graphic pictures about of what nerve damage can lead to. See if you can get him to access this site and read what the rest of the diabetic community are doing to help themselves. But youve taken the biggest and most productive step already by joining this forum, please remember you are never alone and we are always here for help and support.

newtoallthis said:

Found this site when I was first diagnosed with type 2 and it has been a great source of support and information!

I wish I could say the same of my OH! When in my first week post diagnosis I was a bit snappy he said do you maybe think your taking this no sugar thing a bit too far?!

How have other newly diagnosed people helped their OH to understand the seriousness of diabetes if not dealt with properly?!

My OH is also on the large side and I worry his lack of care for his own health could lead to him one day being in the same position i'm in but he has not changed his diet one bit!

I have lost nearly a stone in my first 4 weeks after diagnosis but how do you make others around you understand how lost you feel!!! Help!!!

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HI, the answer to your question i don't have I'm afraid, but oh boy do i understand, i became and have been very strict on diabetes since diagnosis, this seems to have been a matter for concern for everyone around me, especially my wife, the day i decided low carb was the way forward, she went low fat, i apparently was obsessed with what i ate and being ridiculous, i exercised too much, a little of this or that wouldn't hurt, i was losing too much weight, it was dangerous to do what i was doing, i was spoiling everyone else's meals especially if we went out for dinner around her parents etc, i was spoiling christmas because i didn't eat potatoes with my dinner and took jelly for my desert, we argued a lot, i had to cook all my own meals while the rest of the family ate "normally" (i added "" as my youngest has diabetes so i don't mean normal in the normal sense of the word) my wife is heavy and would very much benefit from losing a couple of pounds (tonne) but refuses to even look at the interesting things I've learned or even watch a video on the subject, it has been an uphill battle from day one, we are just trying to stay alive and live well after all, why is it such a struggle for those around us to accept our sacrifices? i have no idea but it sucks, on the other hand i think everyones discouragement of my new lifestyle was inspirational in a defiant way.

fast forward..... things have got better, she occasionally cooks me something low carb, no one tells me I'm doing wrong anymore, two reasons for this, one is i look great and feel great, the other resin is ill argue about how right i am until they give up, but your new ways will become accepted as you do so well, they have little choice but to accept it and hopefully.....just hopefully your husband will look at you and think about what he is doing, maybe make a few changes too

now to you..... wow! your doing really brilliant! don't be discouraged! you are inspirational to the masses that ignore their condition and live to regret it, keep it up!

and remember obsessive is what lazy people call the motivated!



P.S, i came out of hibernation because your story struct such a chord, back under my rock i go

I’m one of the lucky ones, but that wasn’t necessarily a Day 1 situation, and from time-to-time, we still have discussions about where “sensible” and “necessary” don’t necessarily mean the same thing to each of us.

I was diagnosed three weeks before going off for a trip lasting several months, away from the NHS, and into an environment with no social medical care, or easy access to any supplies I might need. As I was keen (read, rabid) not to take medication, I agreed a period of trying diet and exercise alone, which I felt was the best way forward, for me. I didn’t understand the extent of the required dietary changes immediately, but I did understand the need to test and monitor myself. Frankly, I spent a small fortune in those early weeks, stocking up on test strips to last me 4 months, but I knew they were going to be vital to me – both in managing my condition, but also in helping my OH understand what was going on with my body, as we went along. We have never tolerated separate meals. For two of us, that just wouldn’t make sense, and I feel would be divisive. We enjoy eating together, and we often have our best discussion over the dinner table.

In reality, I started reducing carbs almost immediately, the over the following couple of weeks reduced them further to bring my self-testing blood scores into the range I wanted, at least initially. Once my OH could see the impact on my bloods, he accepted things so much better, and is my absolute support on my ongoing journey.

Now that I have been in the non-diabetic range for some time, he sometimes suggests I go a bit more off-piste than my preferences allow, but if I don’t want to, he accepts my decision. I look on his suggestions not as him wanting to derail me in anyway, but more of a subtle suggestion that he wouldn’t be too critical if I ever want to push the carb-tastic “envelope” on high days and holidays.

I’d advise you to take this thing in smallish steps and to talk to your OH, and keep talking. If you are not self-testing, I strongly recommend you start. This is how you can both demonstrate the position you are in (potentially with higher than ideal blood scores), but also to demonstrate the day-to-day progress you are making, by being able to show, in front of his own eyes. That bit really did help me.

One of the things my OH used to say again, and again (and still does today, occasionally) is; “Do you really think that diagnosis was correct?” When we have that conversation, I just get my testing records and show him my scores, taken on my meter, in our own home.

Good luck with it all. The first few weeks are scary and frustrating, but once the dust settles, you can still live a fabulous life, and some of the “sacrifices” just become a bit of white noise in the bigger picture.

I wouldn't get your hopes up about the DESMOND course. From what I've heard on here. I never got offered one, but generally from what I've heard they follow the general NHS line of eat plenty of starchy carbs, a few biscuits and some cake wont hurt.........yeah right! Following NHS advice for the first year saw my figures get worse until I was threatened with Insulin. Luckily I found this site and then ignored NHS dietary advice! I'm so much better for it now and only take Metformin now after previously being on several tablets.

Good luck, it might be helpful, we must look on the bright side and be optimistic!

@newtoallthis Well done for losing nearly the stone in 4 weeks and welcome to the Forum
@daisy1 will be along shortly and give you the advice that will help you with your personnel control with Diabetes.
I am a OH and make many silly comments regarding other things,then start looking into google etc; strangely enough I become an expert in that field. (two faced)
In time your OH will soon come to understand what diabetes is all about.
Just you take care of number one and watch OH come round.

.

@newtoallthis
@izzzi

Hello and welcome to the forum

You have already received some helpful advice and are already making good progress. I'd like to add to this with the information we give to new members which I hope you will find useful. Ask more questions and members will be able to help.

BASIC INFORMATION FOR NEWLY DIAGNOSED DIABETICS

Diabetes is the general term to describe people who have blood that is sweeter than normal. A number of different types of diabetes exist.

A diagnosis of diabetes tends to be a big shock for most of us. It’s far from the end of the world though and on this forum you’ll find over 100,000 people who are demonstrating this.

On the forum we have found that with the number of new people being diagnosed with diabetes each day, sometimes the NHS is not being able to give all the advice it would perhaps like to deliver - particularly with regards to people with type 2 diabetes.

The role of carbohydrate

Carbohydrates are a factor in diabetes because they ultimately break down into sugar (glucose) within our blood. We then need enough insulin to either convert the blood sugar into energy for our body, or to store the blood sugar as body fat.

If the amount of carbohydrate we take in is more than our body’s own (or injected) insulin can cope with, then our blood sugar will rise.

The bad news

Research indicates that raised blood sugar levels over a period of years can lead to organ damage, commonly referred to as diabetic complications.

The good news

People on the forum here have shown that there is plenty of opportunity to keep blood sugar levels from going too high. It’s a daily task but it’s within our reach and it’s well worth the effort.

Controlling your carbs

The info below is primarily aimed at people with type 2 diabetes, however, it may also be of benefit for other types of diabetes as well.
There are two approaches to controlling your carbs:

• Reduce your carbohydrate intake
• Choose ‘better’ carbohydrates

Reduce your carbohydrates

A large number of people on this forum have chosen to reduce the amount of carbohydrates they eat as they have found this to be an effective way of improving (lowering) their blood sugar levels.

The carbohydrates which tend to have the most pronounced effect on blood sugar levels tend to be starchy carbohydrates such as rice, pasta, bread, potatoes and similar root vegetables, flour based products (pastry, cakes, biscuits, battered food etc) and certain fruits.

Choosing better carbohydrates

Another option is to replace ‘white carbohydrates’ (such as white bread, white rice, white flour etc) with whole grain varieties. The idea behind having whole grain varieties is that the carbohydrates get broken down slower than the white varieties –and these are said to have a lower glycaemic index.
http://www.diabetes.co.uk/food/diabetes-and-whole-grains.html

The low glycaemic index diet is often favoured by healthcare professionals but some people with diabetes find that low GI does not help their blood sugar enough and may wish to cut out these foods altogether.

Read more on carbohydrates and diabetes

Eating what works for you

Different people respond differently to different types of food. What works for one person may not work so well for another. The best way to see which foods are working for you is to test your blood sugar with a glucose meter.

To be able to see what effect a particular type of food or meal has on your blood sugar is to do a test before the meal and then test after the meal. A test 2 hours after the meal gives a good idea of how your body has reacted to the meal.

The blood sugar ranges recommended by NICE are as follows:

Blood glucose ranges for type 2 diabetes

• Before meals: 4 to 7 mmol/l
• 2 hours after meals: under 8.5 mmol/l

Blood glucose ranges for type 1 diabetes (adults)

• Before meals: 4 to 7 mmol/l
• 2 hours after meals: under 9 mmol/l

Blood glucose ranges for type 1 diabetes (children)

• Before meals: 4 to 8 mmol/l
• 2 hours after meals: under 10 mmol/l

However, those that are able to, may wish to keep blood sugar levels below the NICE after meal targets.

Access to blood glucose test strips

The NICE guidelines suggest that people newly diagnosed with type 2 diabetes should be offered:

• structured education to every person and/or their carer at and around the time of diagnosis, with annual reinforcement and review
• self-monitoring of plasma glucose to a person newly diagnosed with type 2 diabetes only as an integral part of his or her self-management education

Therefore both structured education and self-monitoring of blood glucose should be offered to people with type 2 diabetes. Read more on getting access to bloodglucose testing supplies.

You may also be interested to read questions to ask at a diabetic clinic

Note: This post has been edited from Sue/Ken's post to include up to date information.