A Hello and Goodbye

[satindoll]

Alex,
There are days many of us despair of the cruel trick of fate that landed us with this cursed diabetes, many days have I cried for the freedom of living without its hold on me, but I have learned over my many years of being on this earth we can overcome many things, we can learn to endure hardships, but self belief only comes from within.
Besides I like to get my fies out now and then in case they think I've forgotten them

 

[Heathenlass]

Thank you, Jack. I didn't wish to come across as well....a bit of an ****. I think today it has all become too much for me and I just wanted to vent, but by doing so, didn't think. I quoted Machiavelli as he is one of my favourites, but by doing so, alienated my audience as a result. That wasn't clever of me and a sure way of how to not make friends.

I had a bad experience with the Samaritans in terms of support, which is why I don't do this often but thought I'd write up something just to show exactly how I feel. Even if I was stupid about it.

Not at all stupid, and as far as I can see, no one has been offended I cause more offence by quoting from Monty Python

Post away, we are listening ...

Signy

 

[JTL]

People here from all walks of life and backgrounds.
Skint well off educated not so much so etc etc.
If your single and living alone and unemployed ... I'm saying if .... then how the hell you survive from week to week I know not.
Unemployed young single people get pennies to live on and are made to jump through hoops to get those pennies and made to feel guilty too.
Having illness on top must be a nightmare and there's thousands out there like that.
Some of the stories I hear get me really mad.
I have to go to bed ... goodnight and God bless.

 

[Pipp]

Thank you, Jack. I didn't wish to come across as well....a bit of an ****. I think today it has all become too much for me and I just wanted to vent, but by doing so, didn't think. I quoted Machiavelli as he is one of my favourites, but by doing so, alienated my audience as a result. That wasn't clever of me and a sure way of how to not make friends.

I had a bad experience with the Samaritans in terms of support, which is why I don't do this often but thought I'd write up something just to show exactly how I feel. Even if I was stupid about it.

@Alexander13
I just hit the like button. Why? Because you showed you are a likeable sort of guy in that you apologised. I think you mean you were sorry for alarming us?

Also, I like that you now appear to recognise that there are good folks who are interested in your welfare.

Ok, I guess I am not going to be your friend. I am just an old(ish) woman who cannot begin to understand the angst of a young man, going through the turmoil you are. Yet I have a son, I have seen the trouble some of his friends have had, and I have seen them come through it too, and make successful lives even when they thought they never could.

You have the burden of a lifelong condition, you are grieving the Gran so recently lost. You have been betrayed by people you thought were friends. Yet you have an eloquence and intelligence that seem beyond your years. You haven't alienated people here. You have caught our attention, and I for one , have not been able to get you out of my thoughts since I read your first post.

So, if you are sorry, and I believe you are, then please in the first instance have some food, sort your meds, rest up. Then post on here asking for people your own age to share their experiences of how they felt. Read up some of the forum info, keep posting, ask questions, give us some of your wisdom, start being kind to yourself. And know that you are not alone, and you can have better times.

Bless you, I wish you well.

 

[Julie1471]

@JACKTHELAD. I'm always skint have kids, husband and mortgage, bills etc. would be better on the dole, but not in my nature. I'm not well educated Alex, I just have a flair to work with kids with special needs. But can't progress till I get maths :-(. Grrrr, as I can work and understand. I have a lower IQ, than hubby and he used to try and use it against me and talk down to me. He took Mensa test, but 1 day I snapped and went you can't reason and you have no diplomacy, he gave up talking down to me and a threaten of a left hook..

Alex stick with us, we are a mixed, varied bunch, but ultimately we are here for everyone.

 

[Alexander13]

@Pipp I'd happily be your friend.

 

[Pipp]

@Pipp I'd happily be your friend.

Thank you @Alexander13 , as long as you know I am very very bossy.

 

[Pipp]

@Pipp I'd happily be your friend.

And a bit nosey, so, have you had food? Meds?

 

[Alexander13]

I made myself a sandwich, had my insulin and my reading is 7.3. Still feeling very much exhausted from the tears of today. Normally, I just bottle it all up.

 

[Pipp]

I made myself a sandwich, had my insulin and my reading is 7.3. Still feeling very much exhausted from the tears of today. Normally, I just bottle it all up.

Well that is a relief! Tears are natural, and so refreshing.

I am exhausted too. How about we both turn off the computers and go get some sleep?

Then tomorrow, carry on looking after the basic stuff, like food, meds, washing, dressing, breathing in some fresh air, and all that mundane stuff that needs doing. Then come and report on forum how we are feeling? I know I have a lot to do tomorrow, but look in on the forum every day. So let me and all the other potential friends here know how you're doing?
Is that a deal?

 

[satindoll]

Alex dear,
We have broad shoulders and plenty of tissues, but as Pipp says we also need some sleep, we will watch out for you in the morning, may your dreams be calm and sweet, see you later.

 

[anna29]

Great posts here of support - this is what the forum is all about !
Been hitting the like button quite a bit on this page .

 

[Pipp]

Yes, I am an oldie who really does need her beauty sleep.
So hope you are in peaceful slumbers Alexander, and wake refreshed in the morning.

Goodnight, to my newest and treasured friend.

 

[jack412]

I made myself a sandwich, had my insulin and my reading is 7.3. Still feeling very much exhausted from the tears of today. Normally, I just bottle it all up.

Good to get it out, it only festers bottled up.

There is a free online course and workbooks that may help a bit
http://www.diabetes.co.uk/forum/threads/newly-diagnosed.60873/#post-583801

 

[BETH@RGU]

Hi Alex,
Top of the morning to you,
Beth xx

 

[Pollylocks]

Hi Alex I'm pleased your original post wasn't your first and last as the title of the thread suggested it would be and that you're opening up to us....you said your search eventually led you to this forum so you do want friends, you are amongst them here....

We all started off in here because we needed a bit of help and guidance, believe me you'll receive it here and after being in here a while you'll surprise yourself one day by being able to answer a question someone has asked and think 'hell I've moved on a bit from when I first came in here, I actually have an answer for that one'!!

PM any time you like, I think you may have quite a few to sort through already..... like others have said you ARE amongst friends here..welcome

 

[Enclave]

Hi Alex, hang on in-there .. You sound like you are still going through the five stages of grief ..denial, anger, bargaining, depression then acceptance ...

There is a place for you in this world .. You have found friends now ..

 

[StormyDog]

I had a bad experience with the Samaritans in terms of support, which is why I don't do this often but thought I'd write up something just to show exactly how I feel. Even if I was stupid about it.

I too had a bad experience with the Samaritans. In my case they were only interested if I was actually in the process of committing self an act rather than thinking of it.
The SAMs have their funding and own agenda put them out of your mind and move on.

You seem to want to improve you position in life (education / job etc.) but you keep finding obstacles. This I also can relate too, maybe you need to start further up the ladder ?
If you want a degree but can't get on a course apply for HND then move up.
If you don't qualify for A levels do a GCSE course.
If you struggle with exams do vocational courses.
If you struggle to get a paid job volunteer get experience which you can use to sell yourself.

You are the leading player in the story of your life in the end you are in a position to control your own destiny.



Sent from the Diabetes Forum App

 

[Pipp]

Good morning, @Alexander13

I hope you slept well, and feel a bit better today.

As you can see, you have a lot of people here who are interested in how you are doing.

Remember I told you I was bossy? And nosey? Well here goes. The bossy bit... Please get yourself up, fed, meds taken, and communicate. (Here in forum and if you can with someone in real world, even if that is Just a step outside to say good morning to someone). The nosey bit.... I will come back on forum later today to ask how you are. I have a busy day ahead. Some good stuff but mostly boring appointments. I don't have a smart phone, so only get online at home. Probably wouldn't be able to work one if I did. Unlike you bright young people, I am not that good with the technology.

If you are up to it have a browse round the forum. I am sure you will find some members of a similar age with T1, who will identify with the feelings you have. Also, they could be more fun to talk to.

Have a good day

 

[Giverny]

Hey Alex, I hope the advice in this thread has helped you. I've noticed you're the same age as me (minus a day!) so I can really relate to your job struggles. It sucks. It really sucks.

You say you don't have any qualifications to get yourself on the ladder, but from what I can see, you're more than capable. You come across as very intelligent but appear to have no real way of channeling this. Have you thought about applying for an adult GCSE course? I know it's not ideal, but everyone on these courses is there for the same reason. Once you've got your GCSEs, the world is (somewhat) your oyster.

As someone of the same age, I highly recommend apprenticeships as a way in to work and further education. That's the route I took and it has well and truly changed my life. This could be the key to those IT jobs! I was also always amazing at IT, and building computers but was always laughed out of the door because I had no qualifications to show for it.

If you keep throwing obstacles in your way you're going to keep tripping over. It's a vicious cycle of anxiety and depression and those habits are hard to break. I've been there myself and at the time it felt like it was just going to be the same for the rest of my life.

Pick yourself up and throw yourself at the world, bud. The world wants you! Feel free to drop me a PM if you want to have a chat about any of this. I'm all ears