Courgettes, cooked carefully in custard, cooled and crushed, can constitute a cold compress for curing callouses, while cucumber cake can calm collywobbles if coated in crumbs and crammed clammily on the coccyx. Charlie Chappel chops Chinese cheese into chunks and chews it chastely every Tuesday. Cauliflower, cabbage, carrots and chard curdle if creamed with Costa coffee, and cannot be canned competently 'cos they coagulate completely.
(Sorry to do long ones, but I'm suffering the agonies of a kidney stone, and this gives me something to take my mind off the pain!)