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- 12
I've struggled for over a decade now with anorexia, binge eating, bulimia for the last 6ish years my diabulimia has got worse and worse. It has torn apart my mental health I now have diagnosis of
Cyclothymia (just below bipolar)
Borderline Personality Disorder
Depression
Managed to train to be a teacher but with my mental health I have not been able to complete my initial NQT year and haven't worked since May 2015.
My Hba1c has always been the highest my doctors have ever seen but when it came back as 171 last week I became a wee talking point at my surgery, the nurse called my care coordinator and either she did or my care coordinator rang the diabetes centre and my therapist and my psych was informed and appointment that was due in October was moved to the other day and looks as though everyone is now really worried.
But I have always confused everyone as I do not get ketones (if ever they are very very low so no impact) and have never been in DKA. I've arrived in a&e for a couple of things in the past year and their faces when they do BM and the sugar level is in the 40's or 50's but I'm perfectly fine and not acidotic is a picture of confusion.
All I really want is to be seen as really really really really sick not because I want attention but because I no longer want to be ill, I want energy, concentration, a future, a job, and to be here for my eight year old daughter as she grows up. If it was a visible illness I would be a total mess but as yet, I know they are coming but, I have no complications (although micro bleeds in eye are a sign) and do not end up in DKA and usually hold it together during my psych appointments so I am on a daily basis tearing my life apart and unable to stop.
I AM SO SCARED.
Cyclothymia (just below bipolar)
Borderline Personality Disorder
Depression
Managed to train to be a teacher but with my mental health I have not been able to complete my initial NQT year and haven't worked since May 2015.
My Hba1c has always been the highest my doctors have ever seen but when it came back as 171 last week I became a wee talking point at my surgery, the nurse called my care coordinator and either she did or my care coordinator rang the diabetes centre and my therapist and my psych was informed and appointment that was due in October was moved to the other day and looks as though everyone is now really worried.
But I have always confused everyone as I do not get ketones (if ever they are very very low so no impact) and have never been in DKA. I've arrived in a&e for a couple of things in the past year and their faces when they do BM and the sugar level is in the 40's or 50's but I'm perfectly fine and not acidotic is a picture of confusion.
All I really want is to be seen as really really really really sick not because I want attention but because I no longer want to be ill, I want energy, concentration, a future, a job, and to be here for my eight year old daughter as she grows up. If it was a visible illness I would be a total mess but as yet, I know they are coming but, I have no complications (although micro bleeds in eye are a sign) and do not end up in DKA and usually hold it together during my psych appointments so I am on a daily basis tearing my life apart and unable to stop.
I AM SO SCARED.