Hi
@Pepe1895
Thank you for sharing your post and being so open. I definitely don't think that you are alone. I also suffered from depression and anxiety, the latter of which I still have but I have significantly improved on the former and recently stopped taking anti depressants, as I found a much better and healthier alternative - exercise and a better diet (not skinny twig ***** but just an improvement). This actually has helped so much, and I know it sounds cliché but it really really does help. And if you are a person who dislikes exercise, I think try and be open about it because the serotonin released from exercising actually makes you feel happier and more energized so you actually start to enjoy it once you get into the habit of doing it.
For example I do a mix of yoga, strength, cardio and kick boxing - all using YouTube workout channels for 20 - 60 minutes five days a week. It has helped boost my confidence and self worth, and it has also helped regulate my sugar levels because of the matabollic boost.
I totally understand your experiences, because I was diagnosed as type 1 a few years ago, not too far off the age that uou are now. Like you, I wanted to go out and enjoy my time with friends. But this came at a price. The type of friends I had back then we're really ignorant about my condition, and I wanted so badly to fit in that I went out and drank a lot, didn't pay much attention to my diet or checking my BG.
Worst scenario, I was left in the girls bathroom (friends said "leave her she will be fine") and the club was closing, so finally two cops came in and I was slurring and puking up all over myself. They called my dad to take me to hospital and they found my BG at 29 with high ketones- that's very bad. I was ill for take days in hospital, being sick everywhere. It was horrible. The same "friends" only texted to feign concern and ask if I was ok. Only my best friend and a close friend came to see me and check if I was alright.
For years I suffered with depression and still only ever wanted to fit in with that group. It wasn't until I matured a bit more that I realised nobody needs friends like that, who can't be bothered to learn the signs and warnings and look out for you in emergencies but expect you to do everything to be one of them. It was then I started taking care of me.
So my point is, don't worry so much about the social stuff. Real friends will stick by you and look after you. Lucky for me I now have a very caring and loving oher half who reminds me to look after myself.
Last point, if you are on the implant have it removed. This caused me so many mood problems for years. I had mine removed a couple months ago and wow I feel so so much better! Not as down and also noticed a bit of weight loss from it.
If you need to talk then holla at me
all the best x