Oh what's the point

[shivles]

Could you persuade him to come to the appointment by phrasing it in a way that suggests you need him and his diabetes knowledge to help you interpret what the specialists are saying? Yes, I know that might stick in your throat, but it's a way I've found to persuade defensive people. I know you might think it's not your job to humour him and pander to him, but if it benefits all three of you in the long run, then it's worth a try at least.

What do his parents say about his control? I appreciate you may not have felt able to mention it to them.

Type 1 is wearing year after year, and burnout is surprisingly common.

Asking his mum to come to the appointment might be a good idea as long as it won't antagonise him. Perhaps you could ask her to say it was her idea?

He can't come because he has a meeting he can't miss, his mum is going to come with me.

I appreciate it's more than likely burnout but since I'm the one doing all LOs management it's hard to listen to him picking at all the things he thinks I'm doing wrong

 

[shivles]

I don't know you or your husband, but I'd argue that that allows me to be objective about the situation. At this point, we've only gotten one perspective of this situation, but it does sound like you're both on opposite ends of the spectrum here.

Having read your past posts, I would also question your methods and approach to managing your daughter's diabetes. Note: "Question" does not necessarily mean "Disagree with" in this case. I question the potentially harmful effects of a low carb diet for a child who is still developing. It's simply incorrect to assume that just because it works for adults (who have stopped growing) also means that it should work for children.

I wonder if that answer is to work with your husband to find a compromise in this situation. While he may not be the best at managing his diabetes, he's the one that ultimately lives with it and so is your daughter. That's not to say that it isn't just as hard on you, but it's something you can't truly understand until it affects your own body.

So the next time your husband offers his opinion perhaps ask him what his reasoning is. Explain that "I just know" isn't an acceptable answer as that's unfair to your daughter. Alternatively, you should be prepared to justify every opinion you have.

I have researched low carb for children and it isn't an issue however I'm not even doing that with her, I just wanted to discuss the possibility, I'd much rather not do it if we don't have to I'm just exploring options.

 

[Jaylee]

If I did try and explain (again) he won't believe me, he's diabetic and I'm not so therefore I know nothing. We had a row at 5am over how many cola bottles to give for a hypo

I've been instructed to feed her 'normally' from now on, ie bread, bread more bread and maybe some pasta.

Now it looks like he won't be coming to the hospital appointment on Friday morning so everything I relay back from it will be lies because it doesn't match what he knows.

At best he thinks I'm negligent, at worst that I'm actually trying to harm her, it's extremely upsetting.

Least he's doing some of her blood tests now he thinks I might kill her

Hi,

With regards to your husband..? I don't see "burnout"?
I see the profile of a guy that's been diabetic for years (childhood?) & resented the fuss/restrictions/singled out as "special"..

So, he now lives as an adult & copes with it all on his "own terms"..
Then bam. His kid is diagnosed & he's having to witness a bit of his childhood all over again.. Like Groundhog Day with a "T1mom" living under his roof..??

In some ways with his "protesting" at your daughters managment, he kind of sounds like he doesn't want his daughter to go through the same stuff..

That's my "potted" take on it!
Of course, inconsistency with both parents won't help the child..

Personally? I'd like to see your husband on this forum!?

 

[mist]

Don't stress the little things.

 

[Battleaxe1981]

Hi. My son was diagnosed in July 2016. I don't know what your diabetes team are like but ours said they would come out and train me, his dad, grandparents, school, friends and anyone else that looks after him at a time convenient to them. Could this be an option? Either with you or on his own?
Also, my son plods along perfectly ok then bam. Has a hypo. Sometimes I've no idea why. Carbs all worked out well. No change in exercise or food eaten or anything. I think this is fairly common in the early days. Don't beat yourself up.
Also, I find that if he hypos at say 10pm. I treat with jelly babies til sugars are in normal range then I must give him something else. A biscuit. Cereal bar. Fresh orange juice if he won't eat to see him through til the morning otherwise he'll hypo again couple hours later.
Good luck xxx