She's not a diabetic
- Thread starter twisty
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life is hard when ur child has diabetes, dylan was only 4 when he was diagnosed so never really did the going round friends houses thing unless i was there now hes 10 he does go to some friends houses but not all of them are comfortable with it and thats fine id rather they said than put dylan in any risk at all. we all sit and wonder why our child had to have this condition but i would rather he had a managable condition than one say like cancer where they is a chance he could die from it things can always be worse. diabetes doesnt define dylan but it is part of him.
anna marie
anna marie
I can totally empathise... the guilt is over-whelming sometimes, even though in our rational minds we know this is in no way our fault. My daughter also 'got' diabetes a year ago and her father is still trying to pinpoint what could have caused it, what we must have done different to everyone else... I have a feeling that just isn't going to go away. My daughter is only 3 so she hasn't really reacted emotionally to her diabetes, or rebelled, but I know this will come in time. I know I can't leave my little girl at any one else's house in case she hypos but I don't want her to become dependent on me as playing at other's houses is a normal part of growing up. I hope to build some good enough friendships where I can maybe drop her off and wait around the corner somewhere so that I'm on hand if needs be.... (how ridiculous this seems). Hopefully some friends will be prepared to accept that responsibility, she is more and more aware of her condition and her sugar levels so hopefully she herself will be able to make this happen. I'm always impressed and amazed by her but on my darker days I even resent people exclaiming at how brave she is, I just want her to be as normal as possible!
I don't know if it the length of time Khaleb has now been diagnosed or his other problems but I've developed a really good attitude towards diabetes. Khaleb is well controlled and mostly stable but even when he is sick and blood sugar levels get erratic I just deal with them one by one. I've always got a fully equipped bag ready to go so our day can function. For the most part I don't notice that a corner of my brain runs a log book and how I notice Khaleb's low levels with a glance. I do not care about other people's opinions at all. Diabetes is complex and you can't explain it to people in simple terms. You can't explain to someone that good levels are between 4mmol and 8mmol but if they are 5mmol 1 hour after a Novorapid injection, or at bed time, that's a bad level. What did you really think diabetes was like before it moved into your home? I thought people took their insulin and ate a healthy diet and all was well 
I think it is important to portray diabetes (especially T1) in a more postive light so our kids don't grow up to feel that they have done something wrong or looking after themselves it too hard and not worth the effort. We all need to vent now and again but we should never feel guilty for an immune system that either made a mistake or was tricked by some virus to attack a vital part of anatomy.
As for staying at other people's places I must say I much prefer when my older son's friends come here. One of his friend's comes from such a broken and stressed home I think he wants to move in (and no - my son has never stayed over there).
Diabetes puts us through all the stages of grief and I suppose I have made it to Acceptance. I do remember the first year was the hardest adaption but every year after has got a little easier. I've been through vomitting, the runs, all sorts of viruses, hundreds of new foods, theme parks, swimming, giving the long acting dose of insulin with short acting pen, having to raid a battery for a glucose meter out of my car key when 3 went flat at the same time, a couple of fairly serious hypos, too many sleepless nights to count and a natural disaster.
Sorry I've prattled on but just recently I've only been hearing people saying diabetes s--ks or how terrible it is and I think back to a documentary I watched on Banting and Best and the discovery of insulin in 1922. We've never had it so good and our kids have the greatest chance of leading great lives with diabetes.
I think it is important to portray diabetes (especially T1) in a more postive light so our kids don't grow up to feel that they have done something wrong or looking after themselves it too hard and not worth the effort. We all need to vent now and again but we should never feel guilty for an immune system that either made a mistake or was tricked by some virus to attack a vital part of anatomy.
As for staying at other people's places I must say I much prefer when my older son's friends come here. One of his friend's comes from such a broken and stressed home I think he wants to move in (and no - my son has never stayed over there).
Diabetes puts us through all the stages of grief and I suppose I have made it to Acceptance. I do remember the first year was the hardest adaption but every year after has got a little easier. I've been through vomitting, the runs, all sorts of viruses, hundreds of new foods, theme parks, swimming, giving the long acting dose of insulin with short acting pen, having to raid a battery for a glucose meter out of my car key when 3 went flat at the same time, a couple of fairly serious hypos, too many sleepless nights to count and a natural disaster.
Sorry I've prattled on but just recently I've only been hearing people saying diabetes s--ks or how terrible it is and I think back to a documentary I watched on Banting and Best and the discovery of insulin in 1922. We've never had it so good and our kids have the greatest chance of leading great lives with diabetes.
good points, well made. We are lucky that we live in an age where it is possible for our kids to live a good life and who knows, maybe even a cure will appear at some point in the not so distant future. We need to be positive for them, I guess! You're right about other people's opinions - we should pay no heed...
WhitbyJet
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Jen&Khaleb said:I don't know if it the length of time Khaleb has now been diagnosed or his other problems but I've developed a really good attitude towards diabetes. Khaleb is well controlled and mostly stable but even when he is sick and blood sugar levels get erratic I just deal with them one by one. I've always got a fully equipped bag ready to go so our day can function. For the most part I don't notice that a corner of my brain runs a log book and how I notice Khaleb's low levels with a glance. I do not care about other people's opinions at all. Diabetes is complex and you can't explain it to people in simple terms. You can't explain to someone that good levels are between 4mmol and 8mmol but if they are 5mmol 1 hour after a Novorapid injection, or at bed time, that's a bad level. What did you really think diabetes was like before it moved into your home? I thought people took their insulin and ate a healthy diet and all was well
I think it is important to portray diabetes (especially T1) in a more postive light so our kids don't grow up to feel that they have done something wrong or looking after themselves it too hard and not worth the effort. We all need to vent now and again but we should never feel guilty for an immune system that either made a mistake or was tricked by some virus to attack a vital part of anatomy.
As for staying at other people's places I must say I much prefer when my older son's friends come here. One of his friend's comes from such a broken and stressed home I think he wants to move in (and no - my son has never stayed over there).
Diabetes puts us through all the stages of grief and I suppose I have made it to Acceptance. I do remember the first year was the hardest adaption but every year after has got a little easier. I've been through vomitting, the runs, all sorts of viruses, hundreds of new foods, theme parks, swimming, giving the long acting dose of insulin with short acting pen, having to raid a battery for a glucose meter out of my car key when 3 went flat at the same time, a couple of fairly serious hypos, too many sleepless nights to count and a natural disaster.
Sorry I've prattled on but just recently I've only been hearing people saying diabetes s--ks or how terrible it is and I think back to a documentary I watched on Banting and Best and the discovery of insulin in 1922. We've never had it so good and our kids have the greatest chance of leading great lives with diabetes.
Jen - You deserve a medal, what a wonderful post, I am type 2, it touched me.
I take off my hat to all parents who are forced to deal with their childrens diabetes, I feel very humble.
All the best to you all x
Twisty,
Absolutely nothing to feel guilty about! There is loads of talk in teh media about people being overweight, smoking drinking etc etc and therefore diabetes being inevitable...absolute rubbish...especcailly when you are talking about an 8 year old.
I have been T1 since I was 4...and actually, don't mind being called a diabetic. When I was diagnosed, back in 1977, I think my Mum felt as you do now...she used to get really angry when people dismissed me as a diabetic. I remember her having a bit of a shout at a swimming teacher once! I remember her saying, so what, she can still swim better than the other kids. I was very embarrased at the time, but I guess that spirit wore off on me. Sure, call me a diabetic, but I have other titles too...Dr, Mum, Wife, Engineer, student, employee, sister, apin in teh bum, subject...diabetic is just another one.
As Jen demonstrates above so well, with your love and support, your daughter can do anything she wants to.
I think my Mum racked her brians for the "why"...and to this day, has not found an answer. I went being really well, and full of energy between, teh middle of December and early January. Christmas was not unusual, and the only thing that happened was that I fell of the stage in teh local villagwe hall when rehersing for a christmas pantomime. I was badly hurt at all...I guess I cried, but certainly nothing major. I doubt that was the cause, but even if it was, it was hardly my Mums fault.
I completely understand your anger...but urge you to try free yourself of the guilt...there was nothing you could have done or not done
Absolutely nothing to feel guilty about! There is loads of talk in teh media about people being overweight, smoking drinking etc etc and therefore diabetes being inevitable...absolute rubbish...especcailly when you are talking about an 8 year old.
I have been T1 since I was 4...and actually, don't mind being called a diabetic. When I was diagnosed, back in 1977, I think my Mum felt as you do now...she used to get really angry when people dismissed me as a diabetic. I remember her having a bit of a shout at a swimming teacher once! I remember her saying, so what, she can still swim better than the other kids. I was very embarrased at the time, but I guess that spirit wore off on me. Sure, call me a diabetic, but I have other titles too...Dr, Mum, Wife, Engineer, student, employee, sister, apin in teh bum, subject...diabetic is just another one.
As Jen demonstrates above so well, with your love and support, your daughter can do anything she wants to.
I think my Mum racked her brians for the "why"...and to this day, has not found an answer. I went being really well, and full of energy between, teh middle of December and early January. Christmas was not unusual, and the only thing that happened was that I fell of the stage in teh local villagwe hall when rehersing for a christmas pantomime. I was badly hurt at all...I guess I cried, but certainly nothing major. I doubt that was the cause, but even if it was, it was hardly my Mums fault.
I completely understand your anger...but urge you to try free yourself of the guilt...there was nothing you could have done or not done
borofergie
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I'm not sure that I agree with this.
I don't have any diabetic children, but I do have two with very obvious disabilities (one with Downs Syndrome, one with only one hand). Our attitude is to be proud of yourself, and don't be limited by your condition. Neither of them have the opportunity to pretend to be anything else, but that doesn't matter. Like Oscar Pistorius says "I'm enabled by the things that I can do well, not disabled by my disabilities."
I'm sure that your daughter is much more than just a diabetic, in the same way as my Eli is not just another "downs syndrome kid".
She is what she is. Be proud of it all.
I don't have any diabetic children, but I do have two with very obvious disabilities (one with Downs Syndrome, one with only one hand). Our attitude is to be proud of yourself, and don't be limited by your condition. Neither of them have the opportunity to pretend to be anything else, but that doesn't matter. Like Oscar Pistorius says "I'm enabled by the things that I can do well, not disabled by my disabilities."
I'm sure that your daughter is much more than just a diabetic, in the same way as my Eli is not just another "downs syndrome kid".
She is what she is. Be proud of it all.
Hi there my daughter shannon is 8 years old and was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes 3 months ago. I must say i agree that being 'diabetic' should not stop any child from leading a normal life and that children should be able to do everything that all other children do. I do think that however you as a parent decide to describe the condition whether that be your child is diabetic or has diabetes is irrelevant and is not going to change the fact that they have this illness and will do for the rest of their lives. Im quite saddened to hear that you are feeling angry and are blaming yourself for the diagnosis because to be quite frank i dont really think that you should be concentrating on the whys, buts and what ifs because in my opinion there is nothing that can be done to undo or change things therefore perhaps it would be a good idea to focus on the future and on things that you do have control over.
Shannons father also has type 1 and has done since he was 13, so when i read your post saying how you cannot help but blame yourself and are frustrated that your child has diabetes i quote "why my child" that made me a little angry for the fact that if us as a family can get on with things and not blame ourselves even though it is genetically passed on then why is it that you cant. I understand that for alot of parents it is normal to have feelings of regret and to find it hard to come to terms with the diagnosis of any lifelong illness but i am a strong believer in positive thinking and thinking positively is always encouraged by us to our children, so i cannot help but think if you have a negative attitude towards your childs diabetes then what kind of an attitude is your child going to have. Children with diabetes will at times through their life rebel against the condition and ask themselves why they have it and why me, these will be the times that they need their parents to reassure them and reinstate their confidence, Im sorry but i do not see how you will be able to do that when you have negative mind set and attitude towards the condition yourself.
I am so proud of our daughter and how she has taken everything in her stride, she is injecting her own insulin 4 times a day and has been doing so for quite some time. Her blood sugars are not controlled at the minute with her only being diagnosed recently so she is having alot of hypos and hypers which obviously makes her feel rather rotten the majority of the time, yet she still gets up every day with a smile on her face excited for what the day will bring. She has such a positive attitude towards her condition and is actually proud to say yes she is a diabetic, she loves the attention that she gets from all of her friends when she is doing her blood and having her insulin because they all think she is brave and cool and i encourage this. Yes having diabetes is hard and she is under no illusion to think otherwise but life is hard and she knows that there are alot of other children out there with illnesses far worse than diabetes that does not allow them to lead a normal life whereas she has her whole life ahead of her and is grateful for that and so are we.
Kind regards
Emma xxx
Shannons father also has type 1 and has done since he was 13, so when i read your post saying how you cannot help but blame yourself and are frustrated that your child has diabetes i quote "why my child" that made me a little angry for the fact that if us as a family can get on with things and not blame ourselves even though it is genetically passed on then why is it that you cant. I understand that for alot of parents it is normal to have feelings of regret and to find it hard to come to terms with the diagnosis of any lifelong illness but i am a strong believer in positive thinking and thinking positively is always encouraged by us to our children, so i cannot help but think if you have a negative attitude towards your childs diabetes then what kind of an attitude is your child going to have. Children with diabetes will at times through their life rebel against the condition and ask themselves why they have it and why me, these will be the times that they need their parents to reassure them and reinstate their confidence, Im sorry but i do not see how you will be able to do that when you have negative mind set and attitude towards the condition yourself.
I am so proud of our daughter and how she has taken everything in her stride, she is injecting her own insulin 4 times a day and has been doing so for quite some time. Her blood sugars are not controlled at the minute with her only being diagnosed recently so she is having alot of hypos and hypers which obviously makes her feel rather rotten the majority of the time, yet she still gets up every day with a smile on her face excited for what the day will bring. She has such a positive attitude towards her condition and is actually proud to say yes she is a diabetic, she loves the attention that she gets from all of her friends when she is doing her blood and having her insulin because they all think she is brave and cool and i encourage this. Yes having diabetes is hard and she is under no illusion to think otherwise but life is hard and she knows that there are alot of other children out there with illnesses far worse than diabetes that does not allow them to lead a normal life whereas she has her whole life ahead of her and is grateful for that and so are we.
Kind regards
Emma xxx
Hi there,
I am sorry to hear about your best friend and obviously you are more familiar with the complications that come with diabetes and uncontrolled blood sugars than most. My partner gavin has what is described as 'fragile' diabetes and is sensitive to insulin therefore he has a daily struggle with trying to keep his blood sugars within normal range and regularly suffers several severe hypos within a day without feeling any warning symptoms. Not only does he have hypos every day he also has hypers going into the mid 20s causing him to vomit and feel rather unwell, his kidneys, eyes, heart and circulation are all well at the minute but he has now had this for 15 years and its beginning to take its toll on him. He has had three d.k.a's nearly dying twice so we as a family are also more than aware of the struggles and the complications of living with diabetes, shannon has witnessed what her father goes through day in day out and how one minute he is within normal blood range then the next he is collapsing, this she has grew up with and unlike most children diagnosed with diabetes she knew exactly what the diagnosis meant and how it could affect her life. So yes my daughter is remarkable knowing all that she knows and still being able to take a positive attitude towards everything and i am very proud. I do not agree with your statement that diabetes does not have people and that people have diabetes, gavin has no control over his life and is not able to live life to the full like alot of people with the illness are able to therefore diabetes does have him and does control his life.
Im am very sorry to hear that your daughter is not taking being diagnosed very well and injecting/blood testing is proving to be an issue, as an adult it would be difficult to come to terms with it all so for a child its more than normal for it to be overwhelming, i wouldnt worry in time she will get there.
I stand by what i said but i do apologise if it has caused offence because that was not my intention. I am my own person with my own opinions and when you make a post on a chat forum then you are inviting people to share their opinions on what you have said. Your post is titled she is not diabetic which is very negative in its self and i felt some of what you had to say was you having a negative attitude which was the point i was trying to get across in my previous comment, i dont really know how you can say you always have a positive attitude because thats not what was portrayed to me through your post like im sure it would not be to some other people.
I would also like to point out we are not on a happy level over the diabetes as you have said and like you would love to wave a magic wand and make everything go away, but this is the real world and you take what life throws at you always trying to take something good out of a bad situation, those are the values that i am proud for me and my family to have. Life isnt fair, if it were the world would be a happy healthy place for all, my 8 year old daughter wouldnt have diabetes, my partner of 13 years wouldnt have fragile diabetes and my 2 year old son would not be autistic.
I wish you, your little girl and your family well for the future and i hope you all come to terms with everything soon as im sure you all will.
Kind regards
Emma
xxx
I am sorry to hear about your best friend and obviously you are more familiar with the complications that come with diabetes and uncontrolled blood sugars than most. My partner gavin has what is described as 'fragile' diabetes and is sensitive to insulin therefore he has a daily struggle with trying to keep his blood sugars within normal range and regularly suffers several severe hypos within a day without feeling any warning symptoms. Not only does he have hypos every day he also has hypers going into the mid 20s causing him to vomit and feel rather unwell, his kidneys, eyes, heart and circulation are all well at the minute but he has now had this for 15 years and its beginning to take its toll on him. He has had three d.k.a's nearly dying twice so we as a family are also more than aware of the struggles and the complications of living with diabetes, shannon has witnessed what her father goes through day in day out and how one minute he is within normal blood range then the next he is collapsing, this she has grew up with and unlike most children diagnosed with diabetes she knew exactly what the diagnosis meant and how it could affect her life. So yes my daughter is remarkable knowing all that she knows and still being able to take a positive attitude towards everything and i am very proud. I do not agree with your statement that diabetes does not have people and that people have diabetes, gavin has no control over his life and is not able to live life to the full like alot of people with the illness are able to therefore diabetes does have him and does control his life.
Im am very sorry to hear that your daughter is not taking being diagnosed very well and injecting/blood testing is proving to be an issue, as an adult it would be difficult to come to terms with it all so for a child its more than normal for it to be overwhelming, i wouldnt worry in time she will get there.
I stand by what i said but i do apologise if it has caused offence because that was not my intention. I am my own person with my own opinions and when you make a post on a chat forum then you are inviting people to share their opinions on what you have said. Your post is titled she is not diabetic which is very negative in its self and i felt some of what you had to say was you having a negative attitude which was the point i was trying to get across in my previous comment, i dont really know how you can say you always have a positive attitude because thats not what was portrayed to me through your post like im sure it would not be to some other people.
I would also like to point out we are not on a happy level over the diabetes as you have said and like you would love to wave a magic wand and make everything go away, but this is the real world and you take what life throws at you always trying to take something good out of a bad situation, those are the values that i am proud for me and my family to have. Life isnt fair, if it were the world would be a happy healthy place for all, my 8 year old daughter wouldnt have diabetes, my partner of 13 years wouldnt have fragile diabetes and my 2 year old son would not be autistic.
I wish you, your little girl and your family well for the future and i hope you all come to terms with everything soon as im sure you all will.
Kind regards
Emma
xxx
borofergie
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twisty said:
So because she's a diabetic she can't be the kid that "draws or dances" very well?
If you take a more positive attitude and let her own her condition, and treat it in a positive way, then no-one else will give a flying-hoot about it.
Is Sir Steve Redgrave a diabetic?
Is he defined as a diabetic, or the guy that won 5 gold medals?
Sorry to be harsh, but it is only diabetes. There are far worse things that kids have to deal with growing up. You just have to play the hand that you are dealt. Wondering what might have been doesn't help you, her, or anyone else.
Twisty, I do understand how you feel and I know that this is such a personal thing. Two of my children have type 1 and both feel very differently about it. My son is proud of it and will talk to people and tell them all about type 1, yet my duaghter hates having it, gets embarrassed when people see her checking her blood and when she used to inject would run off and hide to do it!
I think it takes different people different time scAles to adjust to different situations and I feel that one year in is still not very long, subsequently emotions will still be strong. Hopefully, over time those down days become less and less and living with type 1 becomes away of life and you don't think about it so much. But, sometimes things can happen that trigger those feelings and I think we should allow ourselves to feel a bit fed up about things from time to time!
I believe our kids won't always have this condition and I've just come back from a JDRF meeting and the research that is currently being done is ground breaking!
I think it takes different people different time scAles to adjust to different situations and I feel that one year in is still not very long, subsequently emotions will still be strong. Hopefully, over time those down days become less and less and living with type 1 becomes away of life and you don't think about it so much. But, sometimes things can happen that trigger those feelings and I think we should allow ourselves to feel a bit fed up about things from time to time!
I believe our kids won't always have this condition and I've just come back from a JDRF meeting and the research that is currently being done is ground breaking!
Dear borofergie,
i just wanted to say that i totallly agree with your comment and that is the point i was trying to make to twisty but she obviously cannot handle other peoples thoughts and opinions without taking it to heart and getting nasty about it, which puzzles me because why would you make a post on a chat forum if you dont want people to have an opinion on the subject your discussing
Kind regards
Emma
i just wanted to say that i totallly agree with your comment and that is the point i was trying to make to twisty but she obviously cannot handle other peoples thoughts and opinions without taking it to heart and getting nasty about it, which puzzles me because why would you make a post on a chat forum if you dont want people to have an opinion on the subject your discussing
Kind regards
Emma
Patch
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Pass me some popcorn. This thread is gonna get wild! :twisted:
(I've drafted a couple of responses to this thread - but never actaully posted them. You've gotta feel sorry for the mother, BUT you also need to understand that it might not be as big a problem for the daughter as the Mum assumes it will be...)
(I've drafted a couple of responses to this thread - but never actaully posted them. You've gotta feel sorry for the mother, BUT you also need to understand that it might not be as big a problem for the daughter as the Mum assumes it will be...)
Twisty is feeling down right now and I think the post was a looking for some reassurance. There are always people who have worse problems, but it doesn't make yours go away to be told so. I don't feel less sorry for someone with one child with type 1 even though I have 2 children with type 1 who were diagnosed within a day of each other and a husband who also has type 1. I like to think I have compassion and an understanding that we all need support, reassurance and help no matter what the situation. Today a friend of mine was moaning about getting up in the night to feed her baby, I was sympathetic even though I know that will be short lived for her but for me, getting up in the night will be something I do for the forseeable future.
I'm sure we all mean well and are trying to help Twisty, but I think that we should understand that
we are all different and that we feel and handle things in a different way.
I'm waiting too! For A cure that is!
I'm sure we all mean well and are trying to help Twisty, but I think that we should understand that
we are all different and that we feel and handle things in a different way.
I'm waiting too! For A cure that is!
