I'm feeling alone

[Sallycee]

Hi,
I'm new to the board so thought I'd post here. I was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes at the age of 7, and I'm now 21. My control has been terrible since the age of about 13, when I stopped doing my daily insulin injection consistently, because of some idea that if I pretended I didn't have diabetes, I wouldn't have it. I've never got into the habit of doing it, and even now I find it a struggle despite being fully aware of the risks.

I lie awake at night and worry that I am going to lose my feet or go blind, knowing that this is likely because of my poor control. I feel guilty that I'm being an idiot now, and someone else will probably have to care for me later in life, even though it is my own fault. I just find it too much to cope with a lot of the time. In a way, I often feel like I'd like to have somebody manage my diabetes for me so I could forget about it, someone to look after me.

I can't talk to anyone about this, because the only people who understand the seriousness of this would be my parents, and I don't want to worry them or make them angry. My boyfriend doesn't understand, as his mum has diabetes and seems to cope really well. In his mind, it is just a few injections, and not drinking full sugar drinks. My friends don't really understand diabetes either. I know I shouldn't moan, as there are a lot of people worse off than myself.

I'm just hoping to use this forum as an outlet, and hope that some people out there feel the same as I do.
Thanks for reading anyway.
Sally

 

[kateincornwall]

Hello Sally , I am sorry that you in turmoil, I cant advise re your diabetes as I am Type 2 . But , I am a parent of grown up children, youngest 34 and know that if one of them were struggling , I`d want to help , even if it was just to give support . Please tell them how you`re feeling, your fears and worries because its true what they say , a trouble shared is a trouble halved .

 

[ShyGirl]

 

[Franky69uk]

Hi Sallycee the real truth is that you are not alone. Most likely you just fell totally isolated and need someone to steer you towards the right path. Thats quite natural. Now you have to do something aobut it. To leave things as they are is not an option as the future consequences really prohibit that. So you must stop burying your head in the sand hoping that this will go away because it wont. The only way to deal with it is to confront the condition determined not to let it rule your life. That is the first difficult step.

The next is to look for support. Someone you can turn to especially when you are down as you are at the moment. This has to be your choice but please don't rule out your parents. The fear of confiding in them is sometimes far greater than the reality and you very may well find that they are your first port of call. if you have a close friend he/she too may be able to help. Your Diabetic nurse at your surgery may also help and advise and probably could arrange for the counselling you need .

Plenty of avenues to explore out there with many people only too willing to help.. many of whom are on these forums. Help is there in a variety of forms but you must reach out for it and be much more positive and determined not to let this beat you. You still have a full and enjoyable life ahead of you if you now deal with this situation. grasp the nettle and go for it.. you'll not regret that you did.

 

[ham79]

you've made a good first step just by talking about it on here. Now you have to try a bit at a time to take control of your diabetes get in touch with your team and once you've built your confidence up again talk to your family they love you and need to know that you're ok good luck
This forum is always here to listen

 

[Synonym]

Hi Sallycee and welcome to the forum.

Sorry you are feeling so down at the moment but by joining the forum you have taken the first step to sorting everything out. Little steps and just one at a time. 8)

I have no doubt that your care team will be very pleased that you want to take control and your parents will be delighted and a good support - if you let them.

There is usually someone on here so it is a good place to ask questions and get support. 8)

 

[Sallycee]

Thank you so muh for these replies. I know ultimately controlling my diabetes is up to me, but it's really nice to know that there is somewhere like this, and people to support me. My hba1c is currently 10.8, so my first target is to get it below 10. I have done my daily insulin everyday now, for about a month so it's starting to feel more like a habit. I've got a long way to go but I think I've made a positive start!
Thanks everyone!
Sally x

 

[lovinglife]

I have done my daily insulin everyday now, for about a month so it's starting to feel more like a habit. I've got a long way to go but I think I've made a positive start!

Well done Sally - you are doing great now and setting yourself a mangeable target is good - keep it up you can do it - have faith in yourself

 

[SophiaW]

Hi Sally I'm glad you decided to join the forum because I know you'll get a lot of support here. You've been doing well over the last month by getting into a routine. Remember, the more you keep it up the more "normal" it will become.

I'm a mother of a Type 1 diabetic. My daughter Jess is 8 (nearly 9) and she's had diabetes since she was 4. As a mother of a T1 I can assure you that your parents, although they might be worried, will be very supportive and understand what hard work it is. If Jess was ever struggling with her diabetes I hope that she will approach us for help, we would always be so happy and willing to help her in every way we possibly can. T1 is a big thing to cope with alone, if you can have support from your parents then it will help you. Even if it's just a hug, a chat and someone to listen to you. That's what families do, they support and help each other no matter what.

If you haven't already read a book called "Type 1 diabetes in children, adolescents and young adults" then I recommend it. This is the book that really helped me to understand so much about diabetes and how everything works.