clareb1970
Active Member
- Messages
- 37
- Type of diabetes
- Type 1
- Treatment type
- Other
- Dislikes
- Mean people, cruelty to vulnerable people and animals. Ignorance of what the human race is doing to our planet. Arrogance and selfishness.
I have spent most of my life feeling guilty about being ill. This isn't something I have put upon myself, but is from all the tutting and sighing or just plain silent treatment if I am too ill to even get out of my bed.
It wasn't too bad when it was just T1, but since then I have had 2 transplants and ended up with GBS which left me in a wheelchair. I take 3 lots of immunosuppressants which leave me wide open to infection. So I struggle at work when people come in coughing and sneezing. I end up getting their virus, but for twice as long and a lot worse. Consequently I have to take more time off work than the average employee, which does not go down well with some. I guess all businesses have a sickness absence policy that really clamps down on employees who have to take more time off than average. I find this the worst guilt as it makes me worry a lot, plus your employer can never get a true picture of how difficult life can be when coping with chronic health conditions.
With regard to home situations, I have come to realise that living with someone who is constantly ill can be very wearing, especially when all the chores are left to others. So although I will always feel guilty, I now put myself in my families position and can see why, although they love me to bits, they can sometimes es get a bit fed up of the situation.
Like you, I have countless people telling me to "rest, take it easy- you must put yourself first". Unfortunately, as a wife, mother and an employee trying to hold down a job, these a luxuries I can rarely afford... without taking on a large amount of GUILT.
