Hi mer
There is one saying in life, you can’t change the past but you can change the future…
And it does sound as though you are having a rough time of it at the moment, which is affecting your work…
You say that you should inject 4 times a day, so it sounds like you are already on the basal/bolus regime, but either haven’t been taught how to use this to your best advantage or you sort of not doing what you need to do to best advantage of this…
Have you been taught carb counting and how to adjust your dose of insulin accordingly?
Have you been shown good monitoring practices, how what the data means, and what to do with it?
I would suggest ask your diabetic clinic if they have a carb counting course such as DAFNE, as these are very good to get you up and running with carb counting, how your insulin reacts with different types of foods, what factors effect how your insulin will work, how to monitor but also how to translate that data so you can make your own insulin dose adjustments, which will go a very long way to enabling you to control your diabetes to your best advantage.
Yes it is hard to start taking control of your diabetes, and sticking to good practice, but there are many advantages of doing so, first being that you will actually feel better in yourself, not have so much time of work and give yourself a much brighter looking future, with limiting impact or avoidance of future diabetic complications.
I would also suggest that you post some of your problems with control that you have in the T1 forum as perhaps will may be able to help, with the different ways and methods that we all use that could help to resolve your problems… As the is the old saying what works from one may not work for the other… So the more different ways you can see of how to get something to work, the more likely you’ll going to find the one that works for you.