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4 yr Diaversary

J

Jen&Khaleb

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Not having enough time. Broken sleep.
August 15th is Khaleb's 4 year diaversary! Although I am proud of my achievement I must say a little bit of depression seeps in at the same time. The memory of being flown to a large hospital by the Royal Flying Doctor Service and sitting by Khaleb's bed in the intensive care ward that happened to overlook the Royal Show. I packed in such a hurry I didn't have my handbag/money with me so went hungry and had completely inappropiate footwear and clothing for Winter and the length of time I was to be away from home. I remember reality hitting me as we were moved to the ward and breaking down. I'd had some pretty bad things happen in a year I wish I could forget. In the end I listened to the advice of living one day at a time and that is still what I do today. It is strange to never dream far into the future or have some goal in life, I just exist in my own organised little bubble. Prior to diabetes I lived with a sliver of hope that Khaleb would have the ability to achieve even semi-independence. Diabetes made me give up my own life (and plenty of sleep) to care for another and also live with guilt about not being there for my older son who has been nothing but a trooper. I don't believe God only gives special children to those parents who deserve them, you are forced to cope whether you like it or not.

It is hard to know how Khaleb is coping. He doesn't know any other life. There must be some scarring from the medical intervention that invades his life as when a medical show was on the TV the other day Khaleb sat with a terrified look on his face and started pulling his sleeves down over his elbows for fear of getting a blood test. I turned it off.
 
Jen, I am thinking of you... You are such a wonderful mother and your children are blessed to have someone so caring and unselfish. You have devoted so much time to your children and Khaleb's results just go to prove that all those sleepless nights and relentless care have all been worth it.

Diabetes becomes part of our lives and often we just muddle through each crazy day and then sometimes, like on an anniversary, it triggers those intense feelings that we had when our children were diagnosed. Your feelings right now are to be expected and you know that you will 'come out the other side' so to speak.

I'm sure your eldest son understands that you have to devote more time to Khaleb, and growing up in the family will teach him to be understanding and compassionate towards other people. I'm sure he doesn't resent any of the time you spend with Khaleb and must be so proud of you.

Remember Jen, you are good at this - Khaleb's control is fantastic, many parents struggle to get control which is not nearly as good. You also do this alone and so you have achieved so much in the last 4 years.
 
Jen, you really have had a tough time of it all. You are a wonderful and special mother to both of your children. It can be very difficult coping with it all and sharing your love and support between both your children, you do it so well and with such knowledge and enthusiasm. I'm sad that any of our children have to have a "diaversary", it's something we never asked for but have to accept and live with every day. I always keep hoping that one day we can all say it was something that affected our children in the past before a cure was found, wouldn't that be nice :)
 
Jen&Khaleb said:
August 15th is Khaleb's 4 year diaversary! Although I am proud of my achievement I must say a little bit of depression seeps in at the same time.
It is strange to never dream far into the future or have some goal in life, I just exist in my own organised little bubble.
I don't believe God only gives special children to those parents who deserve them, you are forced to cope whether you like it or not.
Click to expand...

I agree with everything you have written above, i hate trying to plan things too far into the future although i am starting to plan a few things a couple of months ahead.

So you should be very proud of yourself, you do an amazing job with Khaleb all by yourself and you have been like a lifeline to me just lately :D
 
Hi! I just wanted to say that although I only joined a short time ago, I have appreciated your views on everything, and you seem to be doing a great job and have helped me out loads with stuff. I hope things will feel positive again for you soon, Im thinking of you.....
Emma
 
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