5 variety of pizza at friends for tea ☹️[emoji15][emoji50]

A one off carby meal isn't going to affect your HbA1c test results. It measures your bs over the last 8-12 weeks.

Hi, @Trishbethel - I think we hope that friends (particularly "good" ones) have listened to us when we talk about our diabetes and our attempts to control it through diet etc., and that they will not feed us loads of carbs when invited to dinner. Truth is though, they tend to listen but no hear so well...and let's face it, they don't really get how important it is. Maybe we need to stress it more and not expect them to bear it in mind...personally, I think I would take on board that it was important to a friend if I was cooking for a diabetic concerned about carb content - so I would be disappointed in a friend who hadn't listened to me. It would teach me about that friend...but I am a harsh character these days when it comes to getting fed up being disappointed by "friends". I guess your post isn't so much about friends as it is about what to do if they serve you food you would rather avoid. For me, it would depend what mood I was in and if it was someone I hadn't really stressed my situation to....I might simply say "Sorry, I just can't eat all these carbs" BUT...if I was in a casual-mmmm-that-looks-yummy- mode...I'd eat it and put it down as their fault.

You can peel the toppings off and leave the base if you're eating carb-conscious but, as others have said, it's fine to let your hair down and carb-out once in a while - life still happens, whether you're low-carbing or not.

Funnily enough, last night I held a house warming party for my closest besties who include a non-red meat eater, a vegan, a veggie, 2 gluten-frees, 1 low-fat and my son and I who are low-carbing. The menu for this motley crew?

Ratatouille, which covers all bases, with "stuff" that people added according to their fancy - vegan felafel, turkey meatballs, chorizo baked in balsamic vinegar, various types of cheese, and on the side we had a big green salad into which people could add whatever "little" salads - zesty carrot, green bean and almond, cucumber and red onion and so on - and dressings they wanted. My son made little flags that said on one side what things were called and on the other side what was in them, so everyone could eat according to their preference. Dessert was a giant bowl of berries with various types of cream (there's even a vegan cream now) and vegan-friendly, 85% dark chocolate.

Everyone was happy.

What made this a particularly awesome menu was that other friends who couldn't make the party last night popped round on Friday and we all crowded around my kitchen table, nattering, chopping and prepping it all.

It's not unreasonable to compliment the food you're served as a way to make a suggestion that, next time, something more appropriate to you be on the menu next time: "This pizza is amazing - you must have worked for hours, and it's a rare treat for me now I've given up bread. I saw this one recipe the other day where someone had used a portabello muchroom as a pizza base..." etc...

If they're good friends, they'll want to support your chosen diet, and anyone inviting people round for dinner will want their guests to enjoy the food on offer. It's not unreasonable to put your foot down a little bit and make suggestions that suit you better, particularly if you use a wink of diplomacy

Pizza was one of my favorites.
I had found a tiny pizza parlor that was onwd by a guy from Naples. I found what the real pizza tastes.
So I started to be really picky on lesser quality ones, not to mention the frozen ones.
Anyway I suggest to stay to the base like the Marinara, Napoli, Sicilana or Margherita toppings.
Or if you like something interesting Marinara with friarelli. (Marinara is tomato sauce, garlic and oregano toppings, and friarelli are cooked rape leaves, Napoli is mozzarella, basil, tomato and anchovies, Siciliana is tomato, anchovies, black olives and oregano, all with some olive oil, of course not lard or margarine!)
Anyway I think that for a friend or even in a restaurant, ask before some green salad with fennel if in season before and stay on simpler toppings - if possible try whole wheat and drink water, not wine and absolutely not fizzy drinks (this is like a pineapple topping in my opinion a really bad idea)
As some have said some pizza once in a while isn't the endof the world.

Personally I would eat it it's only one meal. If I am eating at some ones house then I will eat what they serve. I would never expect anyone to make something different for me and as for taking my own food definitely not I would not dream of doing that

SockFiddler said:

Funnily enough, last night I held a house warming party for my closest besties who include a non-red meat eater, a vegan, a veggie, 2 gluten-frees, 1 low-fat and my son and I who are low-carbing. The menu for this motley crew?

Ratatouille, which covers all bases, with "stuff" that people added according to their fancy - vegan felafel, turkey meatballs, chorizo baked in balsamic vinegar, various types of cheese, and on the side we had a big green salad into which people could add whatever "little" salads - zesty carrot, green bean and almond, cucumber and red onion and so on - and dressings they wanted. My son made little flags that said on one side what things were called and on the other side what was in them, so everyone could eat according to their preference. Dessert was a giant bowl of berries with various types of cream (there's even a vegan cream now) and vegan-friendly, 85% dark chocolate.

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@SockFiddler , that is genius!

Trishbethel said:

Well, I went to a friends for tea last night and she served 5 different pizzas and pasta followed by treacle tart?! I was starving as saved myself knowing
It was going to be a big meal as she tends to cook loads, but never expected all carb meal?! So I had to eat what was there, as I didn't want to offend her, but I also don't know how to tell her that it was the worst food to give me? She is a good friend we have known each other for couple of years, but I don't know her enough to feel comfortable saying I can't eat this or to take my own meal with me. What do you do in such situations? How do you bring up what you can and can't eat without it sounding offensive? Has anyone else been is such situation? Plus I have my HB1AC Wednesday. It's so stressful being Type 2!
Trish

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Hi, I am new to this forum but wanted to respond to your post.

I hear you on this. My sister and I had plans to get together, when she texted me to change the time she said "oh and I have Peanut Butter Oreos for you!". All excited - it was so sweet but then I wanted to just text her back and say "And I have diabetes". So I called her and let her know. Of course she did the big sister thing and started giving me all the advice and I couldn't help but think "this is why I didn't want to tell you I had this..." So when we got together I was given the cookies (and muffins from my mom (Thanks Mom! *sighs*). It would be tough enough dealing with this but other people make it harder. I wound up taking the cookies to work with me and gave the entire unopened package to our security guard. Not sure what I will do with the muffins but I definitely do NOT feel comfortable eating them because I know the spike they will give to my blood sugar.

Agree, the odd carb blowout is unavoidable if you live a sociable life. However (reading your second post in this thread) the occasional carby meal can turn into carb creep, and I have constantly to go through the calendar to see what's ahead and take avoiding action if necessary. For example, Mrs DeeJay booked us into a series of set meals at a local cafe with themes such as Mediterranean and North African which I thought I could navigate through, but every dish was in some way wrong for me, and my Libre sensor recorded every leap in the graph. Lesson learned (I hope). Her brother is having a big family reunion party next month and has booked us into a Thai restaurant, so I'll be online sussing out whatever I can beforehand. And the overnight hotel breakfast.

I know the feeling so well. Both my parents and I were diabetic and attended a family gathering. The soup course was fine as was the main course. Turkey veg etc but the pudding was made specially for the 3 diabetics a fruit salad. It wouldn't have been so bad but it was covered in sugar syrup!

For me personally I would have taken the toppings off and explained I'm grain free as it tears my stomach up. All true. Same with sugar and desserts.
The toppings of pizza are the best part anyway !!

We are the ones that are diabetic, not our friends and not our families.

So we are the ones that have to be aware what a diabetic can or can not have to eat. In all likelihood others either have little knowledge or the wrong knowledge about the subject.

So we have to take responsibility for what goes in our mouths and down our stomachs.

In the circumstances, you could either have the toppings from the pizzas leaving the high carb base behind or write th he night off as a one off, enjoy the pizza and make sure that you are back on truck the next day.

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I somewhat agree with you, @pavlosn - we ultimately choose what we can and can't eat. But where's the social line drawn with that? Flatly refusing all and any dinner invites with friends and family who - like us - lead busy lives so tend to only meet up to eat together?

An interesting point my friends all agreed upon last night was that I've been cooking and treating them to diet-appropriate treats and meals for years, so veggie, gluten-free office-lunches, vegan picnics, non-red-meat BBQs and so on. None of them had ever said "Oh, it's a health thing", just that it's something they felt strongly about or "felt better" without eating (only one of my 3 gluten-free friends is actually coeliac and she wasn't there) but I'd cheerfully accommodated them for the whole time I'd known them. Thus they felt it was only fair to consider what Euan and I could and couldn't eat now that there's very specific health implications involved.

I suppose my point, ultimately, it this. Yes, our diet is our responsibility. But the people we love bear some responsibility, too. If you were a recovering alcoholic, you'd expect the bottom line of an evening with your family to not include everyone else getting smashed on the 12-year-old malt. Similarly, if you've given up carbs (and I think it's a fair analogy given addiction and health implications) I think it's fair to expect your loved ones not to serve up three courses of carbs followed by sugar.

Of course, the caveat for that is that you need to have explained to people what you're doing and why because, unlike alcoholism, the carb thing isn't widely understood yet and many people will think we're bonkers. And I type that and think, again, about all the meals and snacks I've provided for friends who have no actual health reason to be so tricky to cook for...

Everyone caters happily for lots of other types of food avoiders (veggies, non-fish etc), there's no reason to expect anything else simply because we're doing something other people don't understand yet.

I understand what you are saying and I suppose it depends on how close you are to the friends/hosts and how comfortable you are discussing health issues with them

I don't tend to make an issue of it but usually when invited to friends for dinner there are at least some low carb choices (meat salad/veg). It's just a case of missing out some of the things on offer. In the unlikely event that anyone notices/comments I can explain it away as watching my diet. Although to be honest most friends do know I am t2 diabetic.

My family are the worst. Our fridge is usually full of "forbidden items" like chocolate cakes, grapes etc. It does not really bother me to be honest. It is my choice to eat low carb not theirs.

In an odd way, I actually enjoy treating friends to things I like but am no longer aloud. Enjoyment by proxy?

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Hi @Trishbethel . An awkward situation to be in. Ask yourself what how your friend would be feeling now if she had read your post?
Disappointed, upset, guilty and maybe questioning the depth of your friendship. All because of diabetes, a condition that thrives on wreaking havoc in our lives.
I often say this but diabetes hates positivity, it hates being out there in the lights, it thrives in the darkness.
Friendship IS trust, honesty and understanding.
A simple " I'll eat what I can but too much will ruin how I feel for the next few hours and I don't want to spoil being here with you and the memories I'll have"
Maybe next time ...............

pavlosn said:

In an odd way, I actually enjoy treating friends to things I like but am no longer aloud. Enjoyment by proxy?

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I'm a feeder........ I like to treat others to things I don't eat myself. It bothers me slightly........

Snapsy said:

I'm a feeder........ I like to treat others to things I don't eat myself. It bothers me slightly........

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Me too. Not sure why I do it either.

Next saturday and sunday Iam invited to a party made by two my friend that will sart with an evening dinner with dancin (they have installed a 500 W Tannoy in their basement). But because I know I'll have to deny not only of pasties and caked but a lot of oter starchy food and mainly because I am an early bird and if I overeat I fell asleep at 11 PM in the middle of the dances normally in front of the Tannoy, like I'vr empied a couple of J&Bs, I decided to go only fot sunday. Sometimes one has to make subtle choiches about it.
I'll prepare a salad with fennell and other things so I'll not arrive empty handed with food.

Sometimes correction with diabetes jou have to plan in advance and in some case make an Indiana Jones and improvise. But better be preparecd

pavlosn said:

I understand what you are saying and I suppose it depends on how close you are to the friends/hosts and how comfortable you are discussing health issues with them

I don't tend to make an issue of it but usually when invited to friends for dinner there are at least some low carb choices (meat salad/veg). It's just a case of missing out some of the things on offer. In the unlikely event that anyone notices/comments I can explain it away as watching my diet. Although to be honest most friends do know I am t2 diabetic.

My family are the worst. Our fridge is usually full of "forbidden items" like chocolate cakes, grapes etc. It does not really bother me to be honest. It is my choice to eat low carb not theirs.

In an odd way, I actually enjoy treating friends to things I like but am no longer aloud. Enjoyment by proxy?

Sent from my SM-G935F using Diabetes.co.uk Forum mobile app

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Love the enjoyment by proxy thing!