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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Linskic" data-source="post: 2613008" data-attributes="member: 573663">A meter? I wouldn’t say it was self pity  … more of an existential crisis. I’m not poor me , why me how unfair …that type of person . Just more overwhelmed and have no real understanding of this disease.. it’s like being pushed into a pool without being able to swim. For me. Im angry. Why sell us food that makes us sick. It’s so much bigger than me. I’m also exhausted mentally emotionally… grieving the loss of my father 3 months ago my mum has cancer that can’t be treated and my loss of health status … a limitation has been placed upon my life that’s a fact and what I’m feeling isn’t sorry for myself its my truth it’s entirely normal for me to think and feel this way … just not long term … it’s not even to do with food ..I needed a lifestyle overhaul..it’s the thoughts of the possible outcomes … amputation ect ect ect. The what ifs …it’s more anxiety based. I’ve suffered from depression for a number of years and it was in remission… I’ve just been catapulted rite back into it. The fact that I’m a single parent and I’m always the strength of the family. It’s a massive blow..:adjustment mentally  and emotionally and yesterday I felt like I couldn’t handle it… I still feel to some degree The same today but god only gives situations to people who can handle it. I’m not used to getting needing nor asking for support, maybe it’s my ego talking?  but the fact I’m here shows me I do require it and I’m trying to refind my attitude of gratitude but again it’s a process which is very personal to each of us. And takes time. Progress not perfect but what I will say is…I need to educate myself and find a guide so I feel more empowered and less alone and not lost in the mire. It all comes from fear… I’m afraid when I’m afraid I shut down and impending doom is my go to. See how naive I am I don’t even know what a meter is! I’m assuming it’s to monitor bloods? … I’ve had no advice or guidance from any of the medical staff but I do have an appointment towards the end of the month. It’s just this in the mean time phase.   I’ve been handed a life threatening label and it’s sent my head west. Thanks for your share … it’ helpful and has allowed  me to open up and maybe understand/ process how I’m feeling as I’m not good with my emotions or understanding them at the best of times.</blockquote>

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