A hospital phone call

A 75 Year Old Lady rings her local NHS hospital and this conversation follows:

'Hello I'd like some information on a patient, Mrs Cream. She was admitted last week with chest pains and I just want to know if her condition has deteriorated, stabalised or improved?'

'Do you know which ward she is in?'

'Yes, ward P, room 2B'

'I'll just put you through to the nurse station.'

'Hello, ward P, how can I help?'

'I would just like some information on a patient, Mrs Cream, I was wondering if her condition had deteriorated, stabalised or improved?'

'I'll just check her notes. I'm pleased to say that Mrs Creams condition has improved. She has regained her appetite, her temperature has steadied and after some routine checks tonight, she should be well enough to go home tomorrow.'

'Oh that's wonderful news, I'm so happy, thank you ever so much!'

'You seem very relieved, are you a close friend or relative?'

'No, I'm Mrs Cream in room 2b. Nobody tells you f**k all in here