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<blockquote data-quote="Alexandra100" data-source="post: 1779067" data-attributes="member: 429870"><p>If your partner chooses not to take his diabetes seriously, in a way that's his choice to make. Hard as it must be to watch him destroying himself, you have IMO to leave him to it and just hope that at some point he will himself come to change. We all have a right to make bad decisions, and/or prefer to live in denial. Sadly, the time a self-destructive diabetic changes his/her way of thinking often comes when the diabetic complications really set in and become noticeable. This is often considered to be after about 10 years, although many people start to experience complications much earlier, and it is believed that a majority of diabetics have actually been diabetic (and so developing detrimental changes in their bodies) for several years before diagnosis. So you see after 9 years as a careless diabetic your partner may be going to get a painful wakeup call very soon.</p><p></p><p>IMO although there is nothing you can do to make him look after himself better, you have an absolute right to insist that he not take out his mood swings on you. Excusing them on grounds of his diabetes will just make him feel free to behave worse. If he goes on as he has been doing, very soon your partner is going to need your help. He will need you. Do you need a partner who is headed for amputation, blindness, renal failure, impotence AND, if I understand you correctly, is not even nice to be with? Don't be afraid to stand up for your right to be treated well in your relationship!</p><p></p><p>I used once to work on a unit where there were dying children. Their parents were counselled NOT to let their dying children get away with "murder". It was said that it was naturally tempting to think, "Oh, the poor thing, s/he suffers so much, s/he has only a short time left, give him/her anything s/he wants". But that just created a little monster so spoilt that when s/he finally died it was a relief to all concerned!!!</p><p></p><p>For shock value, you might try showing your partner this Panorama documentary, but I doubt if he will watch it. [MEDIA=youtube]dWhSzQEcPMQ[/MEDIA]</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Alexandra100, post: 1779067, member: 429870"] If your partner chooses not to take his diabetes seriously, in a way that's his choice to make. Hard as it must be to watch him destroying himself, you have IMO to leave him to it and just hope that at some point he will himself come to change. We all have a right to make bad decisions, and/or prefer to live in denial. Sadly, the time a self-destructive diabetic changes his/her way of thinking often comes when the diabetic complications really set in and become noticeable. This is often considered to be after about 10 years, although many people start to experience complications much earlier, and it is believed that a majority of diabetics have actually been diabetic (and so developing detrimental changes in their bodies) for several years before diagnosis. So you see after 9 years as a careless diabetic your partner may be going to get a painful wakeup call very soon. IMO although there is nothing you can do to make him look after himself better, you have an absolute right to insist that he not take out his mood swings on you. Excusing them on grounds of his diabetes will just make him feel free to behave worse. If he goes on as he has been doing, very soon your partner is going to need your help. He will need you. Do you need a partner who is headed for amputation, blindness, renal failure, impotence AND, if I understand you correctly, is not even nice to be with? Don't be afraid to stand up for your right to be treated well in your relationship! I used once to work on a unit where there were dying children. Their parents were counselled NOT to let their dying children get away with "murder". It was said that it was naturally tempting to think, "Oh, the poor thing, s/he suffers so much, s/he has only a short time left, give him/her anything s/he wants". But that just created a little monster so spoilt that when s/he finally died it was a relief to all concerned!!! For shock value, you might try showing your partner this Panorama documentary, but I doubt if he will watch it. [MEDIA=youtube]dWhSzQEcPMQ[/MEDIA] [/QUOTE]
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