Anxiety

azure · Dec 20, 2016

You're not silly at all It's normal and natural to be nervous when you care so much.

Don't put yourself down. Never hate yourself. You're a strong person. I know that because you cope with diabetes every day, you're brave enough to talk about your feelings here - and you've taken the first step in speaking to her

Be proud Make a plan for next year and maybe email her or talk to her online? Even a short message will show you're thinking about her.

Jaylee · Dec 20, 2016

Michik said:
My parents wont understand that conflict, they were born in different ages and had other way of thinking.

Trust me when I say you are not pioneering some new way of life.. It's a timeless story that has been told down through the ages.

Am I right in guessing you & this girl might come from different "cultures?"

Michik · Dec 20, 2016

Jaylee said:
Trust me when I say you are not pioneering some new way of life.. It's a timeless story that has been told down through the ages.

Am I right in guessing you & this girl might come from different "cultures?"

No she is the same nationality, religion, race and culture as me. I meant she only goes to school by bus because she lives in other place than my town. And this makes some things impossible because for example we wont be walking around for late because she doesnt have any means of transport at that time. If she lived in the same town like me, there would be more options to go for. We could meet everyday, walk until late night and see her home.

Jaylee · Dec 20, 2016

Michik said:
No she is the same nationality, religion, race and culture as me. I meant she only goes to school by bus because she lives in other place than my town. And this makes some things impossible because for example we wont be walking around for late because she doesnt have any means of transport at that time. If she lived in the same town like me, there would be more options to go for. We could meet everyday, walk until late night and see her home.

Sorry @Michik , I have known a lot of Asians (Indians.) I've also traveled to India in the south.. Your postings are remincient.. Happy days. I wanna go back..

azure · Dec 21, 2016

Michik said:
No she is the same nationality, religion, race and culture as me. I meant she only goes to school by bus because she lives in other place than my town. And this makes some things impossible because for example we wont be walking around for late because she doesnt have any means of transport at that time. If she lived in the same town like me, there would be more options to go for. We could meet everyday, walk until late night and see her home.

Do you know the saying "Distance makes the heart grow fonder"?

Keep in touch with her and maybe the holidays will show her that she misses you too.

Michik · Dec 21, 2016

She is so important for me but I do not realize that.

We will see.

Michik · Dec 21, 2016

azure said:
Do you know the saying "Distance makes the heart grow fonder"?

Keep in touch with her and maybe the holidays will show her that she misses you too.

I miss her already . Sometimes I feel lonely in my struggle. I dont have any trusted person in real life to speak to about my feelings. I dont want to go to psychotherapist because its not very serious problem with my mind and secondly, my parents could suspect something more than I really feel(being bullied in school or even more dangerous cases in their eyes). I only feel regret and miserable. My appetite isnt too good(Im tired of eating white wheat bread and rolls) or its just one time problem. Ive recently started eating less because of losing weight but now I realize that this may be caused by " love". I havent neither lost too much weight nor feel unstable, weaker.
I am really waiting for this new year. Im certain that I will do my best to be with her. If not, Ill receive a great friend at least.

I am sorry if you are forced to respond this thread. I know its diabetes forum about every side of the life of diabetic. You may think I am very emotionally unstable

azure · Dec 22, 2016

I don't feel forced to,respond at all @Michik And I don't think you're unstable. I'm responding because I remember very well the agonies of the teenage years - the falling in love, the lack of confidence, the worries.

What you're feeling is normal Emotions are strong in the teen years and you're still finding your way in the world. It's not an easy time.

My advice is to keep a cool head. When you feel yourself worrying too much, or thinking that you're not good enough, stop and tell yourself that you are just as good as anyone else, and that things will be OK.

You said a very wise thing about being with her or making a great friend That shows how mature you are

Michik · Dec 22, 2016

azure said:
I don't feel forced to,respond at all @Michik And I don't think you're unstable. I'm responding because I remember very well the agonies of the teenage years - the falling in love, the lack of confidence, the worries.

What you're feeling is normal Emotions are strong in the teen years and you're still finding your way in the world. It's not an easy time.

My advice is to keep a cool head. When you feel yourself worrying too much, or thinking that you're not good enough, stop and tell yourself that you are just as good as anyone else, and that things will be OK.

You said a very wise thing about being with her or making a great friend That shows how mature you are

Wise words but without any practically use. Only thing I care about is love. Nothing except love. If I fail completely, Im not keen on being more than classmates. Because I am impatient just like other teenagers in the world. And this is very unmature behaviour of mine.

azure · Dec 22, 2016

Michik said:
Wise words but without any practically use. Only thing I care about is love. Nothing except love. If I fail completely, Im not keen on being more than classmates. Because I am impatient just like other teenagers in the world. And this is very unmature behaviour of mine.

Hey, I'm impatient and I'm an adult! : D

But what I've learnt is that you need to balance being passionate with not being too intense. So show this girl how important she is to you, but just stand back a little so she has some space. That will show her you respect her and aren't being pushy Also, take your lead from her. Think about what she likes, and try to keep that in your mind when you suggest things. Again, that's showing her respect and thoughtfulness She'll then know you're someone she can trust and open up to

rockape37 · Dec 22, 2016

Michik said:
No she is the same nationality, religion, race and culture as me. I meant she only goes to school by bus because she lives in other place than my town. And this makes some things impossible because for example we wont be walking around for late because she doesnt have any means of transport at that time. If she lived in the same town like me, there would be more options to go for. We could meet everyday, walk until late night and see her home.

Ask her what Christmas is like in her village, you never know you may get an invite even if you can't make it it's a conversation point.

Regards

Martin

Michik · Dec 22, 2016

azure said:
I don't feel forced to,respond at all @Michik And I don't think you're unstable. I'm responding because I remember very well the agonies of the teenage years - the falling in love, the lack of confidence, the worries.

What you're feeling is normal Emotions are strong in the teen years and you're still finding your way in the world. It's not an easy time.

My advice is to keep a cool head. When you feel yourself worrying too much, or thinking that you're not good enough, stop and tell yourself that you are just as good as anyone else, and that things will be OK.

You said a very wise thing about being with her or making a great friend That shows how mature you are

What if my effort is worthless? Sometimes I feel that way. Maybe she just acts polite because she's been grown up like that and she respects/treats other people the same way as me? These kind of thoughts are always coming to my mind and I am confused due to them. At least thank you for all support, I am getting rid of regrets.

azure · Dec 22, 2016

If you're trying, then it will never be worthless You've reached out to see if she's interested. That's the best thing to do.

Does she like you the same way as you like her? You won't know unless you try. So keep doing what you're doing. Smile, chat, listen to what she says and be a good friend to her. That way she can see you're a good person and that you care enough to think about her and how she is, and to ask questions that show you care about her and the things she's interested in. Be someone she can trust and rely on

Jaylee · Dec 22, 2016

Michik said:
What if my effort is worthless? Sometimes I feel that way. Maybe she just acts polite because she's been grown up like that and she respects/treats other people the same way as me? These kind of thoughts are always coming to my mind and I am confused due to them. At least thank you for all support, I am getting rid of regrets.

There was a girl like this 26 years ago at a biker bar I used to frequent.. All the guys used to hang round the bar & "moon" over her. ("Moon" = fixated.) to me it was just great "customer service".. She was a good professional member of the bar staff. No one else could see it. The guys? It was just her..

Lol, I would take my drink & socialise with the women ignored by the clientele too blinkered by this one girl. (She was a "rock star" behind the bar.)
Which incedentally, is where I pretty much first met my future wife.. (Hanging out with the guitarist mentioned earlier.) Also naturally gifted at a professional customer service..

Point is? Until you make your intentions known.. You will just keep mooning & playing guessing games as to the "meaning" of that "polite smile".

azure · Dec 22, 2016

True and timing is everything @Jaylee So balancing being clear that you like her with not putting her off is important. Not too late, not too soon

Jaylee · Dec 22, 2016

azure said:
True and timing is everything @Jaylee Not too late, not too soon

Just like a good bolus....

Though, sometimes with the "Unknown" the best prandial numbers just happen...

azure · Dec 22, 2016

Very true! : D

Michik · Dec 22, 2016

I remember I used to say to myself not to fall in love in next years in school, just focus on studying and your results. And then I meet her in class and after 2 weeks everything has started and now I am here typing on this forum. What an irony, isnt it?

Jaylee · Dec 22, 2016

Michik said:
I remember I used to say to myself not to fall in love in next years in school, just focus on studying and your results. And then I meet her in class and after 2 weeks everything has started and now I am here typing on this forum. What an irony, isnt it?

Sorry but "School" is not an ideal setting to "fall in love."
There have been cases of "anxiety" causing a blossoming of love affairs in other stressful situations like war zones/times of war, hospitals, & "hostage" situations. To name a few....

Michik · Dec 22, 2016

I know that school is meant to learn and educate but its the only way to meet new people for me. I am just a teenager who has no experience in these life matters. I am still learning. Where can I get this knowledge from? From philosophers' essays or psychology books? I like reading them where there is an opportunity but they dont teach me how to live.
I understand that I could fall in love everywhere, on camp, in library, on the street. Is it wrong that Ive got crush on her in school? I wish I didnt meet her

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