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<blockquote data-quote="donnellysdogs" data-source="post: 642178" data-attributes="member: 17713"><p>[USER=84857]@Molly56[/USER] I was going to suggest sitting at a different table!!<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" />) </p><p></p><p>That was a good suggestion though from other OP to tell him upfront that you are not going to be his carer when his eyes etc go wrong.... Again, I did something similar this week... My hubby collapsed totally unconscious twice during night having got up to go to loo. He refused ambulance. I still went to my dogsitting and made him make appt with gp... (Normally I would do this)</p><p>Outcome was that I told him afterwards that he needs to decide if he's going to have a DNR and to get his will updated. Again, something I have always done this sort of thing but told him outright that he got to sort out... Because his collapsing brought it home to me that I do everything.</p><p>(You'll laugh at this though).. I still emailed the Practice and told them what happened exactly and asked the info to be passed on to the clinician assessing him!! (And they did) the GP had the email in front of her according to hubby she was interested how far I travel to house n dog sit!!! I still couldnt let go of my caring hat I always wear...</p><p></p><p>Makes me wonder if some men pick us women as partners because they see us as their mothers in some way? Because of our hands on approach at sorting everything out for them. I had backed off from doing this and like you doing more of my own thing, like going out by myself doing upholstery, PPG and meeting friends. </p><p></p><p>Like other OP said.. At least he didn't shovel it on tons of bread. I think carb addiction is so real.. And worse than smoking/drinking. It is a very hard cycle to break..</p><p></p><p>You're right to go and do things alone on holiday if you can do this. I used to pre hubby go on so many holidays abroad by myself. Still did up until a few years ago. Now since becoming less hands on at home and giving myself more activities away it makes the time I do spend with him a lot more enjoyable and fun.</p><p></p><p>Do what makes you happy Molly but do consider telling him direct that you don't enjoy being his Carer and if (when) due to his ignorance he gets more poorly then he will have to arrange for others to look after him, not you. That you are his partner and lover not his mother....(i used those words for my hubby too!)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="donnellysdogs, post: 642178, member: 17713"] [USER=84857]@Molly56[/USER] I was going to suggest sitting at a different table!!:)) That was a good suggestion though from other OP to tell him upfront that you are not going to be his carer when his eyes etc go wrong.... Again, I did something similar this week... My hubby collapsed totally unconscious twice during night having got up to go to loo. He refused ambulance. I still went to my dogsitting and made him make appt with gp... (Normally I would do this) Outcome was that I told him afterwards that he needs to decide if he's going to have a DNR and to get his will updated. Again, something I have always done this sort of thing but told him outright that he got to sort out... Because his collapsing brought it home to me that I do everything. (You'll laugh at this though).. I still emailed the Practice and told them what happened exactly and asked the info to be passed on to the clinician assessing him!! (And they did) the GP had the email in front of her according to hubby she was interested how far I travel to house n dog sit!!! I still couldnt let go of my caring hat I always wear... Makes me wonder if some men pick us women as partners because they see us as their mothers in some way? Because of our hands on approach at sorting everything out for them. I had backed off from doing this and like you doing more of my own thing, like going out by myself doing upholstery, PPG and meeting friends. Like other OP said.. At least he didn't shovel it on tons of bread. I think carb addiction is so real.. And worse than smoking/drinking. It is a very hard cycle to break.. You're right to go and do things alone on holiday if you can do this. I used to pre hubby go on so many holidays abroad by myself. Still did up until a few years ago. Now since becoming less hands on at home and giving myself more activities away it makes the time I do spend with him a lot more enjoyable and fun. Do what makes you happy Molly but do consider telling him direct that you don't enjoy being his Carer and if (when) due to his ignorance he gets more poorly then he will have to arrange for others to look after him, not you. That you are his partner and lover not his mother....(i used those words for my hubby too!) [/QUOTE]
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