Back in hospital again!!

Paul59 said:

& gets a slap around the chops I expect. Does he eat pork? Say no more.

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If it amuses him why worry. The eating donuts, chocolate, cakes etc. bothers me a lot more as I would so love to have just a bit of one but know I can't!

@akindrat18 , I can understand the need to focus on your assignments, but don't forget if you are honestly running out of times you may be able to have an extension granted, given you have had a couple of periods in hospital. The are no guarantees any application for an extension will be granted, but it's worth remembering. Of course, any extension then knocks onto the next submission.....

Whilst concentrating on your work, please do bear in mind how awful you felt when you were eating whatever you liked. You were lethargic, nauseous, had headaches and a an very upset tumm. Going back there would be exceedingly unhelpful to you, in so many ways. Aside from anything else, do you want another hefty does of carb withdrawal?

That your parents have read "Eat Fat" is great news. It contains excellent information, and I recommend you read it when you can find the time. It's not heavy going at all.

Keep in touch.

@akindrat18 - sorry to hear about your hospital visit. I'm also allergic to tree nuts and peanuts (it developed suddenly about 8 years ago) but am fine with coconut (which is not actually a nut). However, don't assume you will be too

One word of warning - I can't be in the same room as someone eating nuts so you might need to try and persuade other people to go nut free when you're around too

Snack wise, you may be able to eat raw pumpkin seeds (I can) which taste remarkably like nuts (but get tested to make sure you're OK with them!). I recently started using this stuff as a peanut butter replacement: http://wowbutter.com (you can get it in supermarkets) and it really does taste just like I remember peanut butter tasting (even the crunchy!). I was gobsmacked when I tried it - expected it to taste disgusting so it was a very pleasant surprise when it was delicious. I can't have too much because of the carbs but if you spread it thin it's pretty low

akindrat18 said:

@AndBreathe you were right all along. the stress has got to me and i'm having a repeat of what I had in January. I've been eating alot of comfort food and I daren't check my blood sugars as i had 2 bowls of corn flakeswith semi-skimmed milk today at 9am. I'm tempted to do a full body detox by just drinking lemon water for the next 2-3 days.

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You need a rethink on this. Doing a total detox at a time when you have important assignments to complete makes no sense. Carb flu+stress could equal disaster on a few fronts.

You need (as you have always needed) to find a steady way with food. By steady, I mean something that gets you ticking over; not on a roller coaster. The steady state will allow your mind to settle and your body to accept its new way of being nourished. Right now, by carbing up, then cutting off, you are shocking your body, so it resists. And when it resists, that's when it makes you feel bad (physically), and of course mentally it adds to your angst and the panic I sometimes see in your writing.

I suggest you get your low carb food in. Get rid of the cornflakes. Where did they come from anyway, on your new regime? You need gentle protein and fat based foods, with your carbs coming from vegetables and a bit of dairy.

You are on a bit of a knife edge, and I don't want to watch you topple. Really, really, I dont.

Try to find an hour today to really think this through, rather than go on serial knee-jerk reactions.

(Apologies for taking so long to respond, but we've had Internet problems here over the last couple of days when it's been stormy.)

Well said @AndBreathe ... much more tactful than how I was going to put it.

@akindrat18 - she talks a lot of sense here.... please try to show the same care for your health that others are showing.

Ok, here goes. I've been nice. In fact I've been very nice to you, but your last post sort of lit my blue touch paper. What i am going to write is written by someone who has not always had the greatest relationship with food. My issues were very different to yours, but I write it from the standpoint of someone who has trodden a variation on the path you are on now.

But, @akindrat, I'm frustrated both for you and with you. What on earth were you doing buying those things in the Co-op? You have excellent food in, and didn't need to completely waste your money - never mind what it'll be doing to your system.

Right now, you are f^*+=>g with your future. Your uni course, your progress, your relationship with food, and indeed your health; if not your life. Our bodies can only take so much abuse, but you seem intent of continuing to pile in in the worst way possible. All this yo-yo stuff is incredibly hard on your body. Indeed, possibly even harder than running higher than ideal for a while. In certainly not suggesting you ditch the diet, because you know how I'll you felt, aside from anything else, I'm just giving you my informed, speculative assessment of where you are.

I appreciate seeing your therapist 3 times a week will be taxing on you. Therapy isn't the ma by, lambs easy route anyone who has never had it might imagine. Mit physically and emotionally draining, and may well be a factor in your desire to reach for the naughty stuff. If you are an emotional eater (and I'm certain you are), that's your salve when the going gets tough, but it is also harming you.

You are currently on a journey of self-harming, with your weapon of choice being cornflakes, pasties and other carb-tastic foods. Again, I'm not suggesting there are healthier self-harming options; I am NOT. But you have to see your behaviour in that way? I'm assuming you are discussing this in your sessions (rhetorical statement).

You need to do so,etching today. Your consultant being pleased with your blood scores of a couple of weeks ago means nothing today, if you are eating badly. I'm can't view your image as its too large for the Internet here to deal with, today, so I don't actually know what the numbers are.

Without wanting to sound melodramatic, or a drama queen, you have to get your head around the fact that you are at a pretty big life crossroads at the moment, and only you can take the safe actions required. That's not about saying what you will do, it's about doing what you need to do, and keeping doing it. Min fortunately, this isn't something anyone else can do for you. All the nutritious in the world don't make a healthy diet. For you ditching the carbs and eating a protein and fat based diet do.

I'm sorry if that's all pretty bottom line, but subtle hasn't worked, so far.

Don't get me wrong, I a admire your candour and your open honesty in laming your posts. I hope your therapist is getting this insight too. I admire open, brave people and will offer you ongoing support. But you need to take sustained action or the revolving door marked crisis will always only be a couple of paces away.

Please, please do take some time out to think today. It's your life, but I'd like to see you live it happily, healthily and successfully, not lurching from one drama to the next crisis.

@akindrat18

I don't want to get on your case either, but you need to LISTEN and follow the advice.