couples/partners type 2 help support and advice.

[tina_marie]

Hi all . im starting this thread to see if there are people on here who like me have a husband or wife or significant other with diabetes and to see how you help and support them. Also how we can help each other .

When my husband was diagnosed two months ago my whole life seem to come crushing down and didn't really know what to do. This site has been a god send and the help we have been given has been invaluable. My husband means everything to me and I want to help and support him in what ever way I can. There are days when I feel so low that I really don't know which way to turn, then I think of him and how he must be feeling and I've become so protective towards him . Having seen him have a hyper was very frightening it scared me so much that I read up on what causes them and what to do, the same with hypos . I get him to send me his BG readings to judge what I can cook him for his evening meal . I've changed my hours of work to be with him when he's home .We do the weekly shopping together and have changed our way of eating. We think he has neuropathy in his feet so I've now started to give him foot massages. How do you all help your other half?

 

[TorqPenderloin]

A few thoughts:
It sounds like you care deeply about him, but I question if you're trying to do too many things for him. That can be bad for a number of reasons.

The possible negatives I see:
-If he wants to share him readings with you, be a part of that, but it shouldn't be something he does reluctantly. I can't stand it when I test (discretely) at the table and then everyone stops talking and asks me what my reading was.
-While neuropathy is certainly possible, it usually takes much longer than a few months to develop. Unless your husband has been undiagnosed for years, it's fairly unlikely that he has it (or at least from diabetes).
-Changing your work hours may be necessary if he has conditions that warrant it, but diabetes itself shouldn't be one of them.

The positives I see:
-shopping and cooking together is something my fiancé and I never did before, but now do together since I was diagnosed. I'd keep that up if I were you.

-Adopting his new way of eating is a wonderful thing to do. My fiancé has done that for me as well. While she doesn't eat exactly like I do, we do make meals that are similar.

I guess the central theme of what I'd suggest is to take an interest and show him that you care, but don't do things for him. He needs to be independent and he needs to feel that way too (there's a difference).

 

[Enclave]

my wife is super supportive for me, and I would have just left my head in the sand if I did not have her support. we are all different .. some people rather find their own way .. I am happy to have the wife find my way forward .. she is less trusting of the medical world than I am, and I thank her for that.

 

[tina_marie]

my wife is super supportive for me, and I would have just left my head in the sand if I did not have her support. we are all different .. some people rather find their own way .. I am happy to have the wife find my way forward .. she is less trusting of the medical world than I am, and I thank her for that.

my wife is super supportive for me, and I would have just left my head in the sand if I did not have her support. we are all different .. some people rather find their own way .. I am happy to have the wife find my way forward .. she is less trusting of the medical world than I am, and I thank her for that.

hello @Enclave i'm with your wife on that, I to don't trust them and will do what ever I can to help my husband .. After all like you said we are all different and i'm married to him not them.

 

[tina_marie]

A few thoughts:
It sounds like you care deeply about him, but I question if you're trying to do too many things for him. That can be bad for a number of reasons.

The possible negatives I see:
-If he wants to share him readings with you, be a part of that, but it shouldn't be something he does reluctantly. I can't stand it when I test (discretely) at the table and then everyone stops talking and asks me what my reading was.
-While neuropathy is certainly possible, it usually takes much longer than a few months to develop. Unless your husband has been undiagnosed for years, it's fairly unlikely that he has it (or at least from diabetes).
-Changing your work hours may be necessary if he has conditions that warrant it, but diabetes itself shouldn't be one of them.

The positives I see:
-shopping and cooking together is something my fiancé and I never did before, but now do together since I was diagnosed. I'd keep that up if I were you.

-Adopting his new way of eating is a wonderful thing to do. My fiancé has done that for me as well. While she doesn't eat exactly like I do, we do make meals that are similar.

I guess the central theme of what I'd suggest is to take an interest and show him that you care, but don't do things for him. He needs to be independent and he needs to feel that way too (there's a difference).

I do understand what you are saying , but my husband has actually said that without me he would be lost . He does do things for himself but there are times when he comes home from work very tired , and if I can do anything for him I will. If I ever overstep the line he will let me know . There are time though when I find it very hard to let go .