Dealing with People

sorry he acts in this way
maybe he just doesn,t understand

Hi Alex, unfortunately you will come across people like this throughout life. Some people seem to relish in the misery of others.

Something very similar happened to me. Unfortunately I think other people sometimes find your diagnosis harder to deal with than you yourself. If you want to stay friends, ask him to talk and see if he has any concerns that you can explain to him which should make things easier. If that doesn't work or if he doesn't want to talk then I would leave him to get on with his life. Having a condition like diabetes soon helps you find out who your true friends are. Good luck and remember there's always support on this forum.

Stab him with a load of insulin, that should keep him quiet for a while, or put a load in his drink or somthing - of course only joking - better off just to punch him in the face instead !! -then blame it on a hypo haha

i suppose any of these theories are possible. Another one might be that he's currently jealous of the attention you are getting for your diabetes ... in which case, give him space to get over it.

Hi, my take on this is people's own insecurities coming out and with their short comings. We all have them, sometimes a friend ,who has been a good one, starts to see the other friend ,you, in a totally new light. Your damaged, you have a chronic medical condition( which is hard enough to come to terms with) and it's not just take a pill a day and in a few weeks you will be fine, it's injections and it's for life. He could now see you as 'damaged' it's sad but these things do happen. Also many people deal with an upheaval or an unsettling situation with a joke, the I don't really care attitude, it's just a laugh, I'm not bothered by it. But really they are. I really hope you can get this sorted out one way or another, you have enough on your plate right now. Please could you let us know how you get on and good luck.
Remember, 'Those that matter, won't mind and those that mind, don't matter'. Take care

This could sound a bit strange but it may be that he is also jealous. I was diagnosed aged 9 and about 6 months after diagnosis I had a big row with my sister who was 11 and she said " I wish it was me that had been diagnosed with diabetes as no one ever asks about me anymore as they all just care about you."

She was obviously resentful because she saw me getting more attention and wanted to be able to balance it out again. Also don't take this the wrong way but teenage boys are not famous for being able to control their emotions sometimes and he may just be trying to process this information himself and this is the way he is doing it. I remember fancying a girl when I was a teenager and my way of trying to get her to like me was to be horrible to her! Utterly bizarre really but people with genuine emotions and feelings do not always process them accurately particularly with youth and hormones getting in the way..

Just try and talk to your mate when you are alone and see where you get to with it. Good luck

alexwilko99 said:

As soon as we got back to school (a week later) he decides he's going to be a complete a**hole about it all constantly giving me greif trying to be funny and put me down all the time, i don't let him but its just how he was a good friend and just started being a prat.
Anyone else had to deal with people like this and if so how'd you do it? haha

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Is he still friendly towards you or does he make comments and walk away?

It could be he's read a little bit about diabetes and is worried he'll have to help you with a hypo . . . or be unable to help you with one.

The best thing you can do is have a quiet chat with him, tell him how he's upsetting you and ask him he has a problem with you. It's bad enough coping with a diagnosis without friends causing upset!

Like others have said, ask him what's up. If this doesn't resolve the issue then at least you tried to sort it out. You find out who your real friends are when your going through a tough time. Life's to short to waste time with people who make you feel bad.

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lizdeluz said:

i suppose any of these theories are possible. Another one might be that he's currently jealous of the attention you are getting for your diabetes ... in which case, give him space to get over it.

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And if he carries on being a complete ****, just tell him:

"You're being a bigger prick than my injections, have a dextrose." Then walk off to class.

alexwilko99 said:

What annoys me about it is i'll go on skype with me after school, just me and him and he'll be fine but as soon as i get to school he's a prat infront of all my other mates for some reason...

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Hi @alexwilko99,

It sounds to me like 'fear and loathing'... or rather, fear and misunderstanding... and many other things besides...

Perhaps, he's trying to be 'normal' and fit in - which is a relatively natural human desire that afflicts us from time to time - and all of a sudden his best mate is no longer normal. In fact, he's got this thing called 'dia... err... dia... *** ...die my hair? Oh, yeah, diabetes.' (Which is something to do with EMO and GOTH music yeah?)

Is it infectious? Could he get it too? I mean, you've probably both seen and heard a few things about obesity in children and adults and the rise of Type 2 diabetes across the UK, and the fact that sweets and coke and pepsi, etc., etc., are all being blamed for the rise in diabetes. And you used to drink coke, etc., and eat sweets and you've got this diabetes, so it MUST be your fault AND surely he's gonna get it too because he eats sweets and drinks coke, etc. So surely, if he stands near you or sits next to you in class, he's gonna catch it!!!

But, of course, what he forgets is that Type 1 diabetes is NOT caused by sweets, coke, etc., and that it's not catching.

And even if he doesn't really think or believe that, he's probably surrounded by other wannabe normals who are thinking and saying something like it and some of those will be truely ignorant and cruel and make a perverse calculation that if your body has a weakness (a defect) they can pick on it and make fun about it and forget their own emotional and psychological weakness and fears.

But what they are unable to compute and explain in words at this moment in time is that as much as a pain in the backside, arms, lengths, fingers, etc., as Type 1 diabetes can be, it actually makes you a stronger person. I suspect your friend is suffering from a complex range of emotions that he's unable to express intelligently and maturely in public and that he may not even truly understand anyway.

When you consider your misfortune from his point of view, once upon a time his best mate could just go out and play sports, etc., and eat and drink whatever you both fancied at whatever time. All of a sudden, you've got to stab your finger to check your blood glucose levels, then you've got to work out whether you can eat/drink that cake, etc., or go for that game of footie with your mates after school. And maybe, he feels partly responsible for you getting it or worried about how to cope if/when you have a hypo, etc.

I'm just guessing and throwing these thoughts at you, because that may help uncover what's going on in his head - which you shouldn't have to do because you're the one making the real life adjustments.

Has your school had anyone in to talk about diabetes - either as a whole school, year assembly or tutorial and class based session? It may be worth getting someone in to broach the subject with your friends, class mates, year group, so that people can air their ignorance, etc., and get to feel part of your journey... many of my school friends wanted to try blood testing and injecting! But, then, we were all a bit weird.