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Diabetes, life and all that - personal diary

Hi Pavlos

Great post. It's entirely natural in middle age I think to have periods of introspection and even melancholia - it's part of the human condition. And it's especially the case when you get closer (hopefully not for a while yet) to becoming the senior member of your family and become more conscious of your own mortality. My dad died last November and it does make you think differently.

I have always had occasional 'dog days' where for no obvious reason I just switch off and can't function. This was more common as a teenager mind you, and my family stop it happening too often nowadays. But sometimes one inevitably thinks about why am I here, what difference has my life made etc. If it's done positively (and I'm sure we can all think of many good things we've done) that's fine, but it's less helpful to resort to 'if only' scenarios - even though it's difficult not to. I can think of numerous times when I could have made a different choice, but there's nothing can be done about it now so don't go there too often! Like @cold ethyl I spend a lot of time thinking about my earlier life, which from here seems so less complicated and free - nostalgia is great but as they say it's not like it used to be! But it's better to talk about such things, even on a forum like this where we are still fairly anonymous and objective, than to bottle it all up.
 
Early morning tennis lesson for me today.

Eight am start, which is a bit early but looking forward to it after missing the last two lessons because of bad weather. Sun is out luckily!

P.
 
Not the best game of tennis I have ever played; it is hard to run after a tennis ball when you can hardly breath because of a stuffy nose and a nasty cough; but a very satisfying one. I got through it. I did not cry off sick and I did not disgrace myself.

I even rode the bike to and from the club.

It's all making me feel a lot better about myself to be honest.

There is some life left in this old boy yet!

Of course the lovely early morning sunshine and warm 14 degrees temperature (especially for 8a.m.) does no harm to my spirits.



Have a great weekend everyone.

P.
 
I'm glad you are feeling more positive even in ill health. It is a bit unkind to mention the weather, though as it has been snowing here all day.
 
Time really is the most precious of all commodities.

I find that my mood improves in direct proportion to the amount of time I can spent doing the things I want to do as opposed to the things I have to do.

The more I end up feeling that I need to steal time in order to do something I have set my heart on the more frustrated I feel.

Being conscious of this, I am making an effort to fit in as much me time this weekend as I can as I can, while at the same time not ignoring time for my family.

We continue to enjoy good weather, it's all changing tomorrow apparently with rain and snow predicted for the coming week, which has meant that while the rest where sleeping, I managed to wake up early and set out at 6:30 am on an eight kilometer two hour walk.

I of course took my camera along and kept myself amused trying to capture the intricate play of light and shadow caused by the rising sun










I was back in time to take move on to the "duties" part of the day: I took my soon to his school were he is taking a mock exam for the equivalent of the eleven plus examinations he is sitting next month, had a word with his teacher on his progress, drove to my parents house to collect my mom and went with her to the home where my dad is staying.

I am now back at home and decided to update this diary before collecting my son from his school, my wife from a friends house and taking them out to Sunday lunch.

I was hoping for a quiet lunch with just the three of us to be honest. Instead my wife just kindly informed me that she invited her mom, brother and sister in law to join us.

"You don't mind do you?" She said. What could I say? She just does not get that sometimes I do not feel like company and having to make polite conversation.

P.
 

Yep, get that Pavlos Totally
 

Yep, Amen to that!
 
Unfortunately the weathermen got it right for once.

I can see from my bedroom window that it's grey, wet and miserable out there. No morning walk today then.

I have to drive to our summer house in Protaras today, a coastal resort an hour's drive away. Not the place to be on a cold day in February. The town will be deserted as it is off season and all the hotels etc are now closed until next month.

The architects contacted me on Friday to say that they have to take on site measurements of the house as the garage apparently ended up too big and the Municipality is refusing to grand us final planning clearance or something.

To add insult to injury the garage is actually too small to fit out car and we almost always have to park in the road in front of the house.

I do hope this mess can be sorted.

We did alter the original plans of the house, which was still being built when we bought it, but that was through the architects, so it really is their mess to sort out but something tells me that I am the one who will have to foot the bill.

P.
 
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That sucks Pavlos, I'm sure you can do without that hassle at the moment. Hope you get it sorted out reasonably painlessly.
 
Sorry you have all the extra hassle at a time when you could do with life just letting you be a bit. Good idea to make time for yourself and the things you enjoy doing. I think sometimes we feel guilty for wanting to do our own thing thinking this means we love our family and friends less, but really we need to love ourselves and value our own needs first before we can be of any use to anyone. Take care x
 
It's been raining more or less round the clock since Monday. My trip to Protaras was cancelled in the end due to the bad weather.

Fortunately for me the rain did stop long enough for me to squeeze in my normal morning walks both yesterday and today.



My whole day seems to run more smoothly on days when I can manage a walk.

My son has come down with tonsillitis, is running a fever and is having to stay at home. He is not happy about this as he was supposed to take part in some school show today. I asked what this was about and what his part would be.
Apparently it's about safety on the Internet and he has a minor part in a play and also was performing Beethoven's Ode to Joy on the piano with the school choir.

I am still trying to figure out what the link is between Beethoven and a safe Internet!

P.
 
Finally managed to get myself out in the countryside this morning, something I have been trying and failing to do for weeks now.

Four hours of driving round, walking through and photographing some stunning scenery,

blooming almond trees


fields of wild flowers,

breathing in the fresh pine scented air and enjoying the sound of birdsong and running water.


Four hours of not seeing, taking to or even thinking about another human being.



Four hours of not answering the phone, not reading the papers and not seeing a computer screen.

Four hours when I could finally give myself the luxury of indulging my own wishes without worrying about anyone else.

Bliss.

I am so pleased I treated myself in this way. I feel rejuvenated and a lot less frustrated.

Now back to real life, to being a responsible adult, a caring parent, a dutiful son, to doing whatever needs to be done.

Have a great week everyone.

P.
 
Glad you got to have some me time. We all need it. X
 
Nice one Pavlos
 
It helps to share Pavlosn and takes a lot of courage to do that so kudos to you.

I'm sure it's just a not very pleasant phase of your life that you are reflecting on,and that we all re-assess from time to time but life goes on and you are such an inspiration and great encouragement on the forum and have an amazing family to focus on and spring is just around the corner when I would like to think everybody feels a little more positive. Keep keeping on!
 
More photos from this Sunday morning showing that spring is almost here.






Almond trees are always the first to bloom, I guess they prefer risking the winter cold rather than sharing center stage with anyone. Quite the prima donnas!

P.
 
Snowing heavily in Nicosia at the moment.


This is a very rare event indeed.



I can only recall a couple of previous days when we had snow in Nicosia in my fifty years.

It will definitely be a new experience for my son and his class mates at school. I bet they are getting a bit excited about it!

There is no snow on the ground yet as all the snowflakes are melting on contact with it but if the snowfall continues then it will only be a matter of time before everything turns white.
Now that will be a strange sight.

My son took the first of a series of entrance examinations for different private secondary schools. It always amuses me that in the UK you call such schools public schools! It seems a bit of a misnomer as to me a public school should be a state school which is free to a public but public schools are anything but. No doubt there is a good reason for the name going back hundreds of years.

Anyway, my son getting past these entrance examinations and making the right choice of school are high in my list of concerns at the moment.

He seems very keen to join my old school but I wonder whether I have unduly influenced him in the matter and whether he is doing this to please me.

This parenting thing is not easy and it seems to get harder as kids grow older and the choices one makes for them more significant.

P.
 
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