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<blockquote data-quote="diabeticpoledancer" data-source="post: 2126857" data-attributes="member: 513901"><p>Hello friends!</p><p></p><p>I'm brand new to this site and still figuring out how to navigate it but I found myself here and Ive been needing to let out diabetic frustration for so long, thank you in advance to anyone who reads this whole thing! I'm a 23 year old t1 girl who has been diagnosed for 15 years. Ive never been large but always struggled with my own body image. It wasn't until I discovered pole fitness nearly 6 years ago that I became more confident, started to love my body and started to take control of my diabetes again, but I still find myself in diabetic slumps a lot of the time. </p><p></p><p>When I was around 16 I found out about Diabulimia and begun omitting my insulin and excessively binge eating. I didn't tell anyone about this until I fell into DKA at a music festival 2 years later and the doctors told my mum that it was clear I had been omitting my insulin for a long time. Even though I received help with taking my injections again, I was refused help for the eating side of things by the ED clinic who said that they felt there wasn't anything they could do. Now I feel the effects of insulin omission have completely changed me as a person. As a teenager I was also diagnosed with anxiety and depression, however following an incident 3 years ago I learned that it was never depression that I had and had been wrongly treated with anti-depressants for 8 years! I am about to start CBT for borderline personality disorder and have been on anti-psychotics for almost a year now. These tablets do help, however I still struggle with my diabetic issues. I still have the extreme urge to binge eat in the evenings.. only in the evenings as I eat very clean during the day. Ive gotten a lot better at testing my blood as I used to never test (maybe one every 2 or 3 months?) and now I test 4 times a day! My head is a very dark place, sometimes (probably like all diabetics) I get frustrated and wish I never had diabetes which lead to very negative thoughts. Sometimes I feel that the negative part of my head takes over and I feel like I did when I used to omit my injections, feelings of next to no self worth combined with not wanting to get any better. This fluctuates so much with wanting to be better! I also really struggle being intimate with my partner, this extremely bothers the both of us and I spoke to my diabetic consultant about this recently to which she replied that it made sense considering how high my blood sugars have been over the years. I have beginning signs of neuropathy in my feet, although my uncle (also a t1!) shared that drinking a glass of tonic water in the evening helps with this and I agree! </p><p></p><p>This is a lot on my mind, Ive never been friends with anyone t1 before so have never been able to talk to someone who really understands. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /> I would super appreciate if anyone with the same feelings were able to contribute to this.. how do you combat these negative feelings/binge eating/intimacy issues? </p><p>Thank you everyone, have a lovely day! <3</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="diabeticpoledancer, post: 2126857, member: 513901"] Hello friends! I'm brand new to this site and still figuring out how to navigate it but I found myself here and Ive been needing to let out diabetic frustration for so long, thank you in advance to anyone who reads this whole thing! I'm a 23 year old t1 girl who has been diagnosed for 15 years. Ive never been large but always struggled with my own body image. It wasn't until I discovered pole fitness nearly 6 years ago that I became more confident, started to love my body and started to take control of my diabetes again, but I still find myself in diabetic slumps a lot of the time. When I was around 16 I found out about Diabulimia and begun omitting my insulin and excessively binge eating. I didn't tell anyone about this until I fell into DKA at a music festival 2 years later and the doctors told my mum that it was clear I had been omitting my insulin for a long time. Even though I received help with taking my injections again, I was refused help for the eating side of things by the ED clinic who said that they felt there wasn't anything they could do. Now I feel the effects of insulin omission have completely changed me as a person. As a teenager I was also diagnosed with anxiety and depression, however following an incident 3 years ago I learned that it was never depression that I had and had been wrongly treated with anti-depressants for 8 years! I am about to start CBT for borderline personality disorder and have been on anti-psychotics for almost a year now. These tablets do help, however I still struggle with my diabetic issues. I still have the extreme urge to binge eat in the evenings.. only in the evenings as I eat very clean during the day. Ive gotten a lot better at testing my blood as I used to never test (maybe one every 2 or 3 months?) and now I test 4 times a day! My head is a very dark place, sometimes (probably like all diabetics) I get frustrated and wish I never had diabetes which lead to very negative thoughts. Sometimes I feel that the negative part of my head takes over and I feel like I did when I used to omit my injections, feelings of next to no self worth combined with not wanting to get any better. This fluctuates so much with wanting to be better! I also really struggle being intimate with my partner, this extremely bothers the both of us and I spoke to my diabetic consultant about this recently to which she replied that it made sense considering how high my blood sugars have been over the years. I have beginning signs of neuropathy in my feet, although my uncle (also a t1!) shared that drinking a glass of tonic water in the evening helps with this and I agree! This is a lot on my mind, Ive never been friends with anyone t1 before so have never been able to talk to someone who really understands. :( I would super appreciate if anyone with the same feelings were able to contribute to this.. how do you combat these negative feelings/binge eating/intimacy issues? Thank you everyone, have a lovely day! <3 [/QUOTE]
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